Bad Ideas, Hotties, Job Searches

Lawyer Begs For Job Via Mass Email, Includes Picture of His Toned Arms — Because Why Not?

The job scene for recent law school graduates is still pretty rough. A little more than half of the class of 2012 managed to secure full-time, long-term positions as lawyers within nine months of graduation, and now that a year has passed, many of them are still struggling to find employment. They’re doing anything and everything they can to find work, from advertising themselves in text ads on Google to trawling the legal/paralegal section of Craigslist all day long.

Others, however, have resorted to more guerilla-esque job search tactics, like sending out emails to hundreds, if not thousands, of practicing attorneys across an entire state. We managed to get our hands on one such desperate email, and rather than including an accompanying professional photo, the sender decided to attach a grainy picture of himself with his sleeves rolled up, showing off his guns. Seriously? Has this man no shame?

After a quick Google search, it seems like the answer is no. Protip: If you’re trying to find a law job, make sure there aren’t half-naked pictures of yourself readily available online…

Here’s the email that was widely disseminated to Delaware attorneys statewide by one Brian Zulberti, a 2009 graduate of Villanova University School of Law. Please won’t someone help this poor young stud?

Brian Zulberti, Villanova Law ’09

Dear Delaware Attorney,

My apologies for cluttering your E-mail with a non-life-or-death matter. I am a recently admitted Delaware attorney with minimal local legal contacts. I’ve diligently done outreach to all the large firms and still find myself running the job-search gauntlet. However, I know there are many solo practices, very small firms, in-house jobs, and other jobs that may be seeking help.

In the interest of brevity and not being even more annoying than I already arguably am, I am not going to include any more information about myself. All I ask is that if you are looking to employ someone with a legal background, anywhere from paralegal to practicing attorney, let me know and I will send you some information about myself. Thank you for your time and attention.

Note- it comes to my attention that a lot of attorneys are forwarding this to the individual in charge of hiring at various firms. I am sending out thousands of E-mails to attempt to reach as comprehensive and diverse a group of attorneys as possible. If everyone forwards it to the person in charge of hiring at their firms, those poor individuals are going to be swamped with E-mails from me. Odds are, that person will also receive an E-mail from me. So do not feel compelled to forward this along if you do not know of some particular, specific position available.

Well, Mr. Zulberti, if you don’t supply your potential employer with any information about yourself aside from the fact that you like to work out, they’re going to have to Google you. How kind of you to leave your privacy settings on Facebook so low that everyone and their mother can take a look at your profile.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and here, all of those words seem to be: NO NO NO NO NO NO.

Best of luck to Brian as he continues to search for a job; seeing as he doesn’t understand basic grammar rules, he might need it. Otherwise, he might have to find work as “a [sic] escort.” But, with this kind of advertisement, maybe he can find employment as a Biglaw sugar baby. Is anyone hiring?

UPDATE (7/25/13): Brian Zulberti, the man with the muscles, has responded to this post via video.

Earlier: Why Take Out Student Loans When You Can Finance Law School as a ‘Sugar Baby’?

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