That sounds awesome! A bank robbery with a sawed-off shotgun, a high-speed chase, and shooting blindly at the authorities. Best GTA mission ever. Way to go Trevor!

Wait… that wasn’t a GTA mission? You’re telling me the crazy bastard in this story wasn’t Trevor, but a 64-year-old attorney turned amateur bank robber? I’d heard of bank robbers becoming lawyers, but the other way around is a new twist. Maybe Spencer Mazyck can make a new “Stealth Lawyer” video about it. Except I guess this guy wasn’t all that stealth since he got caught. He probably didn’t realize there were no more Pay ‘n’ Sprays.

Armed bank robbery. Man, those “million-dollar law degree” guys are really working hard to prove how much you can make with a J.D., aren’t they?

This all started when Warren Gladders of Wentzville, Missouri allegedly strolled into the First Bank of Dutzow on Friday:

Authorities said Gladders had walked into the bank and pulled out a handgun. Warren County Sheriff Kevin T. Harrison said Gladders told tellers not to put dye packs in the cash, forcing the employees to fan the bills at the counter to make sure.

He then ordered the tellers to go to the bank vault and bring him $100 and $50 bills. He put the money into a duffel bag and ran out of the bank.

“He said if anybody did anything, he would kill everyone in the bank,” Harrison said.

Gladders, a graduate of the Washington University of St. Louis School of Law, probably realized this was all illegal. On the other hand, he’s 64. Maybe he could just pretend he was old and confused and get off easy. It worked for Rip Torn.

Here’s what happened next, according to the police. A woman waiting outside the bank saw the whole thing and called the cops. As Gladders tried to return to Fall-Out-Boy-ville, a trooper pulled him over. At this point, the shooting started. Gladders shot the 26-year-old trooper in the chest, but thankfully the trooper was wearing body armor and sustained only bruising. Gladders, on the other hand, was shot in both legs and remains hospitalized. He’s technically been charged with “first-degree assault against a law enforcement officer, armed criminal action, robbery in the first degree and possession of an illegal firearm — a sawed-off shotgun.” This concludes the issue-spotting portion of the article.

According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, a man at the Gladders homestead referred all questions to attorney Brad Kessler. Interesting. Brad Kessler is a noted St. Louis-area criminal defense attorney. He also considers himself an “outsider artist” who is, well, this guy:

Despite his unconventional looks, Kessler has a reputation as a superstar criminal defense lawyer. Another St. Louis attorney describes him thusly:

“There were four of us who would go to the Downtown Y and work out in the early ’80s. Brad looked like the romantic hero of the paperback novels, with his muscles and long hair. But he paid no mind to all these women who were watching him. Of the four of us, Brad was the one who remained focused on staying in shape. He’s the same way in court, very focused, a natural born litigator.”

So we have a lawyer accused of robbing a bank and shooting a cop represented by the “romantic hero of the paperback novels.” Fun trial.

But the critical question our tipster posed remains unanswered: will Wash U be including “Bank Robber” in its employment statistics?

Wentzville man charged in trooper shooting, bank robbery [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
Brad Kessler: Attorney-Cum-Artist with Great Hair and Killer Tats Running for Office [Riverfront Times]


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