An ethics scandal is one thing. A sex scandal is another. The combination is amazing. That’s what happened when a lawyer was accused of billing a client $900 for a number of sexual encounters after starting up an affair with her. A guy’s gotta get paid.
This was the story of Thomas Lowe, a Minnesota attorney who got his Arnie Becker on by hooking up with a woman he was representing in a divorce and billing her, resulting in his indefinite suspension.
All this went down last year, but now — out of nowhere — we have a response from Thomas Lowe….
And why do we have this comment now? Because HLN’s very own Nancy Grace found out about the story. In related news, CNN is currently reporting that Mitt Romney is enjoying a convention bounce.
* We kind of love Thomas Lowe: Sure he was kind of a scumbag and cheated on his wife, billed his mistress, and nearly drove the latter to suicide, but his response to Nancy Grace’s tardy inquiry was awesome:
I have no idea why you think this is a story 14 months after the press release went out. It’s not Headline News in my opinion, and that’s part of the… reason no one watches CNN.
Ha. Remember when HLN actually endeavored to be “Headline News”? Now here they are a little over a year late to the party. If you’re wondering why Nancy Grace didn’t have this story back when it was really news, the answer is that her public needed wall-to-wall Jodi Arias coverage. The best is that somehow, after getting mocked mercilessly by this guy, Grace went ahead with the story.
* They made a hashtag for this?: At the bottom of the screen, HLN ran the spider #BilledForSex. This is so postmodern. Twitter hashtags exist to help track trending news stories and HLN has created one for the purpose of spreading a story so old that if it were a baby it could feed itself. Just for yuks, I’ll tweet this story with that hashtag to help them out over there.
* Lowe was apparently a .2 hour man: So according to Grace, Lowe charged $250/hour for his services. On September 22 — oh, and Nancy obviously doesn’t put years on her infographic of this, but that’s 2011 by the way — Lowe billed his client $50 for “meeting and revising divorce petition” while they were really meeting at a hotel and getting their swerve on. That’s 12 minutes. Total. Indeed, both having dinner at a restaurant and having sex in the parking lot only took 24 minutes. Let’s hope for his sake he wasn’t padding these bills.
* “I didn’t go to law school, but I did f**k at a Holiday Inn Express last night!”: I don’t know why Grace is so fascinated by external shots of the Holiday Inn Express where these liaisons took place. Actually, I know exactly why they did it, because in one of the less insufferable moments of Newsroom they did this:
“They put it full-screen, why?” Because you were about to look away.
And just like the pretentious show said, Nancy Grace is an expert at making non-news look like news. Well, she did it again.