Drinking, Food, Law Schools, Litigators, Pro Se Litigants

Muscle Milk + Pro Se Litigant = Hilarity

Muscle Milk: drink this and you’ll write awesome pro se briefs.

I’m about to share with you an awesome pro se court filing from a law student who drinks Muscle Milk — enough of the stuff to belong to a class action of Muscle Milk consumers. Please try to envision what this submission might look like.

In terms of the student, I’m imagining a real meathead. He belonged to a frat in college. He’s not a great law student, but his family has connections that will help him land a job post-graduation. His bookshelf looks like this.

As for his pro se filing, it’s probably a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury (and Bluebooking errors). The UVA Libel Show would call it a Muscle-Milk-induced “roid rage of shame.”

But no, it’s not; it’s so much better than that. It’s actually a work of genius….

Behold William Chamberlain’s Objection to the Proposed Settlement and Fee Request in Delacruz v. CytoSport, Inc., a class action against the maker of Muscle Milk essentially alleging that CytoSport improperly marketed Muscle Milk as “healthy.” Check out the first few pages, which take the form of an entertaining and edifying dialogue (a few footnotes omitted, but you can access the full document on the next page):

If you move into the body of the brief, you’ll see that it’s cogently argued as well as properly Bluebooked. This makes sense once you learn more about the author, William Chamberlain. He’s not just some random Muscle Milk drinker turned pro se litigant; he’s a former college debater who’s now a student at the Georgetown University Law Center.

In terms of the substance of the brief, a persuasive takedown of an inadequate class-action settlement, it immediately reminded me of the work of Ted Frank, aka the Class Action Avenger, and his colleagues at the Center for Class Action Fairness (CCAF). And it turns out there’s good reason for this: as Ted Frank informed me, “Will Chamberlain was a CCAF summer intern. We trained him well.”

Indeed. Flip to the next page to see the entirety of Chamberlain’s compelling objection. Drink. Evolve. Enjoy!

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