A few years ago, Deadspin had a post up wondering if lacrosse players were “predestined to be dicks.” Thanks to a recent lawsuit that was filed, we can finally give a conclusive answer to that question. Yes, friends, LAX bros are predestined to be douchebags, and their general assholery seems to be deeply ingrained in them due to the very parents who raised them.
Don’t believe us?
Cast your eyes upon the case of little Billy, whose father — an IP litigator who happens to be a LAX coach for a rival league — is now suing for damages. This sports-obsessed sideline dad alleges that his son was benched in retaliation, an obvious violation of the federal racketeering act.
Get ready for face off, folks…
William A. Munck of Munck Wilson Mandala alleges a number of coaches associated with the Dallas Lacrosse Academy (DLA), a private lacrosse travel team, initiated a corrupt enterprise where students, including Munck’s son, had to curry favor by paying to play. Here’s an excerpt from the complaint:
William Munck, a “popular” coach for the LoneStar league, refused to allow his son to join DLA, and was summarily stabbed in the heart with statements like “Billy Munck will never play varsity lacrosse.” The elder Munck, armed with a law degree, knew he had to take drastic measures — he spoke to DLA’s front man, John A. Marano, even though other local LAX fanatics “did not remember him playing lacrosse, let alone well.” Pause for a moment to imagine the shame, the horror, associated with begging a man who didn’t even play well to get his son on the varsity squad.
Billy dressed for 11 varsity games, but played in only nine of them. He didn’t even get a varsity letter. His life had clearly been ruined, so he transferred schools. Poor Billy is now playing lacrosse at a Division III school, not for a lack of talent, but because he was allegedly a victim of DLA’s corrupt activities.
DLA and the defendants, of course, filed a motion to dismiss Munck’s claims, and revealed in their papers that this is not the first lawsuit Munck has filed against them. In February 2013, apparently unable to “let go of his anger that Billy did not initially make the varsity lacrosse team [in 2010],” Munck sued the defendants for negligence, tortious interference, and civil conspiracy.
That suit is still pending, but here’s one of the more entertaining paragraphs from the MTD:
We’d wager that if this were a real lacrosse game, Munck, Esq. would’ve been bounced long ago for his unsportsmanlike conduct. Billy must be thrilled to have a dad so willing to embarrass his own son.
(Flip through the next pages to see William A. Munck’s complaint and the defendants’ motion to dismiss.)