Mindy Kaling

Law school commencement speakers are often dull. Even big name legal celebrities can be duds. Sure, they’ll try to slip in a joke or two to try keep their audience from falling asleep, but other than that, the experience can be a real snooze.

Enter Mindy Kaling, the comedian who stars on the TV show The Mindy Project and was a cast member on The Office before that. She spiced up her speech with humor and stole the entire show — so much so that one news article about the commencement ceremony noted that “U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara was also a speaker.” Bharara, the Harvard grad who just so happens to be an elite S.D.N.Y. prosecutor, was also a speaker. Ouch.

Keep reading to see some of the highlights from Kaling’s awesome speech…

Here are a few of the best excerpts from Mindy Kaling’s address:

1. On future career prospects for Harvard Law grads: “You will help a cable company acquire a telecom company. You will defend BP from birds. You will spend hours arguing that the wellwater was contaminated before the fracking occured. One of you will sort out the details of my prenup, a dozen of you will help with my acrimonious divorce, and one of you will fall in love in the process—I’m talking to you, Noah Feldman!”

2. On how much of a catch Harvard Law grads are in the dating pool: “From where I stand, from an outside perspective, here’s the truth – you are all nerds … you are the nerds who are going to make serious bank. Which is why I’m here today, to marry the best-looking one of you.”

3. On the moral alignment of Harvard Law grads: “People are going to listen to what you say now, whether you’re good or evil…Some of you are evil. That’s just the odds.”

Check out the video below. You’ll soon wish Mindy Kaling was your commencement speaker.

Mindy Kaling’s Advice for Harvard Graduates: Some of You Are Evil [Boston.com]
Comedian’s Harvard Law speech recognizes grads Barack Obama and Elle Woods (see video)
[ABA Journal]