Balancing The Three-Legged Stool Of Success In Our Legal Careers

Be careful, because if you lean too far on the stool one way for too long, then you will eventually fall over.

“We are the rose, this is the concrete, and these are my damaged petals. Don’t ask me why. Thank God and ask me how.”Tupac

Last week, I attended a diversity and inclusion event that featured Caren K. Lock, Regional Vice President and Associate General Counsel of Government Relations & Public Policy for TIAA-CREF. Prior to joining TIAA-CREF, Lock was General Counsel with a consumer financial company in the Dallas/Fort Worth area.

Lock is currently the primary interface for her company on all legislative, executive, and regulatory matters in the southwest region. Lock is a frequent speaker on racial and gender diversity as well as community and political advocacy.

As the keynote speaker, Lock gave advice on how law school graduates can attain and maintain success in their lives and throughout their careers. As an Asian-American woman, Lock highlighted some of the critical experiences she has had and key decisions she has made throughout her career. She shared her life-balance philosophy, which she categorized into three major roles. Lock compared our ability to manage these roles to the balancing of a three-legged stool.

According to Lock, the three main roles we all play in life are:

  1. Our professional role;
  2. Our family role; and
  3. Our societal role.

In terms of one’s career, Lock advised the audience to “be a little scared because if you are not, then you are not growing and stretching.” However, being scared does not equal stagnation. Don’t suffer paralysis by analysis. Be a little scared, but don’t be afraid. If you let your actions be governed by your fears, then you will ultimately live with regret. You will always think “what if?” Hard work and excellence will guide you through difficult work situations.

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She warned us to choose our professional battles carefully. No one wants to hear you whine that you didn’t get invited to a lunch or a social gathering. Your career isn’t high school. However, she noted how important it is to speak up when you believe you earned the opportunity to lead a project (e.g., the right to second chair a case or argue a motion you authored).

As an Asian-American woman, Lock said she has had to fight for the “plum assignments” in her career; but she selected the right opportunities to make requests/demands so they were usually honored. She stated that if you do quality work and demonstrate your commitment to your employer, then you will undoubtedly have a successful career.

In terms of family, Lock proclaimed that a person is indispensable to their loved ones. It is important not to ignore or take for granted the ones you love. Life is short, tomorrow is promised to no one. At the end of the day, family will be there for you and you should be there for your family. They are the ones who truly understand and accept you.

Your family should be the most important part of the three-legged stool. She has been fortunate to work with colleagues who have pitched in to help when she had family emergencies. Remember, you only have one family. Make sure to make time for them.

In terms of society, Lock stressed how important it is to give back. We owe it to our family, friends, and community to get involved and give back. She reminded us that many of our immigrant parents left everything they had behind for us to have an opportunity in this country. She cautioned that minorities should work collectively towards a common good and not allow our different countries of origin to fracture us. We must come together.

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Lock implored us to exercise our civic duty and vote. If we are dissatisfied with the current political landscape, then we must vote to facilitate change. Lock asked the audience to be more involved in politics, in grassroots efforts, and in diversity and inclusion programs. We need to be the change we so actively seek. It all starts with us.

At the end of her speech, Lock reminded us that it is inevitable we will, at particular times, lean heavily on certain legs of the stool. She warned though, if we lean too far one way for too long, then we will eventually fall over. We all balance the three-legged stool differently. It is only natural. At the end of the day, we can only control our attitudes, reactions, and priorities.

How are you currently balancing the three-legged stool of success in your life?


Renwei Chung is the Diversity Columnist at Above the Law. You can contact Renwei by email at projectrenwei@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter (@renweichung), or connect with him on LinkedIn