Email Scandals, Pets, Reader Polls, U.S. Attorneys Offices

Prosecutor's Pooch Spawns Epic Email Bitchfest

A prosecutor brings his dog into the office on the weekend. An amusing email exchange ensues.

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As I have mentioned before, I’m not a huge dog person. I’m always nervous about mentioning that fact because here in the United States, people love their dogs (and not in the way that residents of Yulin, China love their dogs). When my colleagues here at Breaking Media bring their dogs into the office, I don’t complain. You don’t want to be known as anti-dog — and hey, it’s no fur off my back.

Alas, federal government bureaucrats don’t look as kindly upon pets in the workplace as people who work at startup companies. Yesterday everyone in the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia got to enjoy an amusing email thread over the topic of employees carrying canines into the office on weekends. Here’s how Arline Gause, the office’s director of administration, kicked off the discussion, in an office-wide email:

All,

I have become aware that we have some employees who have continued to bring their pets to work in the Alexandria office. There seems to an increase during the weekend. I would remind you that we have employees with pet allergies and as such no pets (other than service animals) are permitted in the workplace policy. Additionally when there are accidents, this is additional work for the admin staff and cost to the District to have areas cleaned. Please see the attached email from Dana (February 12, 2014) regarding this issue.

This putting employees on a tighter leash didn’t go over well with one assistant U.S. attorney, James P. Gillis, who told Gause she was barking up the wrong tree:

I’m here working on the weekend – both days; same as last weekend (the 4th of July weekend) – and your observation is that I have brought my dog to work?!!!

You know what? You’re right – neither one of us should have been here, me or my dog. I’ll be sure to follow your advice in the future Arline.

Woof! Sounds like Arline just got put in the doghouse.

But two can play at the sarcasm game. Gause’s response:

Sponsored

Thank you for understanding and being thoughtful of my role to ensure the health, safety and welfare of the District employees. During my 3 ½ years here, I’ve had to endure watching the First Responders and paramedic assist members of the staff during medical emergencies. On at least on 2 occasions in the past two year, 2 of my admin employees were taken by ambulance to the emergency room. I find it to be a very thing to ask this of the staff not to mention it violates the CFR.

I find your email offensive and insensitive not to mention that it again ignores my frequent requests NOT to send emails of this sort to the entire staff.

Not sure why Gause sent her response to Gillis to the whole office, but perhaps she didn’t want him to have the last word. The rest of her reply:

Finally, there are many of us (both support and AUSAs) who frequently work late evenings and weekends to accomplish our jobs. So by all means let’s be professional and keep this in perspective.

To the staff: my apologies for this email. I will not respond to any other responses regarding this subject. If you have any issues with this request, please direct them to the MAUSA or U.S. Attorney.

Because I’m sure the U.S. Attorney really wants to get dragged into this dogfight.

Anyway, Jim Gillis couldn’t resist one final growl (again, shared with the entire office):

Sponsored

Arline,

If you had any sensitively to the history and culture of this great institution that is EDVA, you would know that this building was named for a great man who brought his dog to work in this very building. His picture – with his dog – hangs in our lobby. Our long-time, excellent First Assistant Ken Melson frequently brought his dog to the office, as did a number of our other fine past leaders. It saddens me that much has changed since your coming, although I do not mean to suggest that you are responsible for it, any more than you meant to suggest that someone was taken away by ambulance because of an alleged pet allergy.

And on the subject of useless office-wide emails, I do not need to know where you will be every moment of the day. I do not receive hourly email updates on the whereabouts of our U.S. Attorney, our Criminal Chief, my National Security chief, or even my wife. I do not need them from you – and I doubt many of us do.

Jim

Translation: Arline, you’re not the top dog you think you are.

I don’t have a dog in this fight; I can see the merits of both positions. Readers, whom do you side with?

Whose side do you take in the U.S. Attorney's Office dogfight?

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(Photo credit: the Instagram feed of Happy Dogs NYC, founded by Biglaw M&A lawyer turned entrepreneur Jennifer Cheng and her husband, Ien Cheng.)

(Flip to the next page to view the original emails if interested.)

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