Biglaw

Associates At This Biglaw Firm Are Under Direct Orders Not To Say 'Thank You'

Which Biglaw firm has given its associates "permission to be discouteous [sic]"?

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Biglaw can be a tough row to hoe. The pay is great, and the hours can be insane, but that’s no excuse for losing your humanity. You don’t need to stop being polite just because you’re stuck at work in the middle of the night — or maybe you do.

There’s simply no time for thank-yous in Biglaw. Time is money, and being polite is not only a waste of time, but it’s surely a waste of a few cents to boot. This is pretty standard protocol at many firms.

Some associates, however, aren’t yet accustomed to putting their etiquette aside. Some of them are still under the impression that thank-yous are obligatory, especially when essential tasks are performed quickly in a time of need. One attorney at a powerhouse litigation firm recently found out that his thanks were completely unwelcome.

Over at Quinn Emanuel, an associate who was being overly indulgent with his emailed thank-yous received a note in response referring him to a 2009 memo from John B. Quinn himself. Quinn’s message, in short, was that employees at his firm should say “thanks, but no thanks” to emailed thank-yous. This made the associate “livid,” because “[he] was just told not to be nice to someone who was helping [him], and rather that it was actually annoying to thank them.” What could the memo have said to get this guy so fired up?

The directive from JBQ, entitled “Permission to be discouteous [sic],” reads as follows:

We have all been raised to be courteous in our dealings with our fellow man, and woman. I submit, however, that in the context of email, we should all be relieved of the obligation to send the routine “thanks” email to acknowledge a response to a routine request. I won’t do the arithmetic here, but I think any of u can calculate the time cost of opening an email, reading it and deleting it. Its not worth it.

Henceforth all responses to emails shall be deemed to be properly acknowledged and appreciated. “Thanks” beyond that is unnecessary (and not appreciated).

John B. Quinn

Associates, you’ve been warned: You must CHECK YOU EMAILS OFTEN, but never say thanks in response. After all, to do so would be “unnecessary (and not appreciated).”

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Earlier: Quinn Emanuel Believes in ‘C.B.A.’ (Check BlackBerry Always)

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