Health / Wellness, Law Schools

The Struggle: The Solution To Law School Depression Is Never Suicide

You don't need to kill yourself. There are people out there who want to help you.

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failed bar exam sad lawyerWelcome to the latest installment of The Struggle, a series where we examine the mental-health issues that students encounter during the oftentimes grueling law school experience. We are posting these stories because sometimes what law students really need is to know that they’re not alone in their pain. Sometimes what law students need is to know that they’ve got a friend who is willing to share not just in their triumphs, but also in their struggles. These are real e-mails and messages we’ve received from real readers.

If these issues resonate with you, please reach out to us. Your stories need to be heard. You can email us, text us at (646) 820-8477, or tweet us @atlblog. We will share your stories anonymously. You may be able to help a law student who needs to know that someone else has been there before and survived.

I hope that my story can provide a coping strategy for someone out there struggling in law school. In my first year at a top-tier school, I launched out of the gate with a regimen of studying basically all the time, taking very little time to do other things.

My roommate was an introvert and kept to himself, so I was free to focus entirely on studying — which I later realized had trapped me in my own little interior world. In that little world, stresses and worries could swirl and build with no outlet.

By mid-semester, I noticed my will to keep working trail off. I was spending less time studying and more time drinking. I started cutting some classes. Eventually I had a hard time getting out of bed. I finally decided that the only rational thing for me to do was to kill myself, and actually got out of bed and got dressed to go throw myself off a cliff.

On the way out the door, I remembered that the school had a counseling center, and for some reason decided to give it one quick try; I opened the phone directory that we received at orientation and called (in my state I assumed that the line would be busy, or that they would tell me to buzz off). I told the person that answered the phone that I was on my way to kill myself. He told me that I should come over right away, that he knew what I was going through, and that a counselor would be ready to see me the minute I walked in the door.

He was right, and I began a healing process that not only cured my depression but helped me to re-focus my life in general. I still graduated high in my class and have had a great Biglaw job for many years, but I did it in a more conscious, more sane way. Law students should know that their counseling center can literally save their life.

Most colleges and universities have counseling and psychological services resources that students can turn to if they are in crisis or would like counseling, even after hours. If these services are not available at your school, and if you’re depressed and in need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or a lawyer assistance program in your state. Remember that you are loved, so please reach out if you need assistance, before it’s too late.

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Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

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