Lawyer Takes Dating Advice From Donald Trump, Looks For Someone To 'Grab [Her] By The P*ssy'
Make the world your own personal "locker room" with Donald Trump's pick-up lines.
The dating scene can be rough for lawyers — especially female lawyers, what with all of their assertiveness “bitchiness” — but thanks to some of the latest rhetoric from Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, it may have just gotten easier.
I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, “I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.” I took her out furniture — I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. …
I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. …
Grab ’em by the p*ssy. You can do anything.
Ladies, now you can make the world your own personal “locker room” with pick-up lines like the ones employed by the Donald himself. They may be “just words,” but now you can turn them into action. Make them all “move[] on [you] like [the] “bitch[es]” they are.
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This recent law school graduate seems to have the right idea about how this works:
The owner of this profile is still on the market in Washington, D.C., and can be reached by email at [email protected] by interested suitors.
Please don’t worry about putting such vulgarities in your dating profile. Take a lesson from Donald Trump on accountability and repeatedly deny the existence of the record at hand. If that somehow fails you, issue a defiant apology and then attack your accusers.
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Best of luck out in the dating world! The power to “do anything” is now in your hands.
Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.
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AI Presents Both Opportunities And Risks For Lawyers. Are You Prepared?
