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Trump Crashes Out At Supreme Court — See Generally

Born Loser: Donald Trump took the unprecedented step of sitting in as the Supreme Court heard oral argument on the challenge to the administration’s executive order purporting to end birthright citizenship. He bailed long before the argument ended once even he could see his case was totally cooked.

You Can’t Fix Stupid, But You Can Quote-Tweet It: Justice Jackson asked a hypothetical about stealing a wallet in Japan to — a hypothetical to explore the various meanings of being subject to jurisdiction — and kicked a hornets’ nest of social media racists questioning her legal credentials from their mom’s basement.

Check Your Cites: In its attempt to rewrite birthright citizenship, the administration cited Confederate officer and segregation advocate Alexander Porter Morse as an authority — a reminder that not every supporting citation is a good idea.

Contempt Of Court, IT Edition: A Texas judge threw an IT worker out of his courtroom for the crime of diagnosing a non-existent audio problem. And then somehow the story kept getting crazier.

Clerk And Awe: Susman Godfrey bumped its federal clerkship signing bonus to $180,000, with $200K for multiple clerkships, joining Hueston Hennigan at the top of the market and making the rest of Biglaw’s offers look like a participation trophy.

Bye Bye Bondi: Trump canned his Attorney General, describing her next move as “transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector” — which is somehow even more brutal than the Kristi Noem treatment, where at least Trump bothered to invent a fake new government position.

Portrait Of A Lady In A Dumpster Fire: Bondi’s official portrait was almost immediately spotted in the garbage at DOJ.

Will The Real Bloated Shady Please Stand Up: Trump’s legal team argued in the January 6 civil case that, if you think about it, the president is basically like a rapper whose concert gets out of hand — and Judge Mehta methodically dismantled the analogy.

By Above the Law
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It Shouldn’t Be That Hard To Understand This — See Also

Japan Theft Hypothetical Flies Over Heads Of Right Wing Grifters: Proving you can’t just steal abroad is a great “subject to jurisdiction” example.

Leave Your License At The Door: Don’t just take Bondi’s job, take her license too!

Talk About Taking Out The Trash: Bondi’s former co-workers IMMEDIATELY threw her work portrait in the trashcan.

Colbert Joins In On The Fun: Lot of black ink in the punchline.

Let The Jury Decide: DLA Piper taken to court in maternity leave discrimination suit.

By Chris Williams

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Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 04.03.26

* With Pam Bondi out as AG, is it possible the Department of Justice will bend even further to Donald Trump’s will? Maybe! [Bloomberg Law]

* Todd Blanche is taking over the DOJ on an interim basis… so about those Epstein files. [CNN]

* DLA Piper’s going to trial! Over pregnancy discrimination claims. [Reuters]

* American Bar Association backs firms targeted by Executive Orders because of that whole rule of law thing. [ABA Journal]

* Judge Emil Bove asked to recuse himself. Let’s see how that works out! [Law.com]

By Kathryn Rubino
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The President: Convicted Felon And…Rapper? — See Also

Trump Team Fights Incitement Charge By Invoking The Spirit Of Hip-Hop: He made sure to imagine all hypothetical rappers were White.

And There Goes Pam Bondi: Wow, a member of The Trump Team getting kicked out when they’re not useful anymore? Quick, check the Dow!

Ty Cobb States The Obvious: He thinks its time to invoke the 25th amendment.

Once, Twice, Five Times A Prosecutorial Error: Deborah Leslie got caught citing cases that didn’t exist to prevent a murder retrial.

By Chris Williams

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