Joe Patrice

Posts by Joe Patrice

Alito* That didn’t take long. John Oliver’s Supreme Court dogs have already been used to recreate Hobby Lobby. The entire Hobby Lobby argument. [Above the Law]

* Squire Patton Boggs is representing the pharmaceutical company promoting Ebola drugs. Or, as CNN would put it, EVERYONE AT SQUIRE PATTON BOGGS HAS EBOLA!!!! [Law and More]

* China Central Television advises citizens not to name themselves “Lawyer.” Good advice. [CCTV News]

* Slate posits that appealing gay marriage decisions to the Supreme Court may violate Rule 11. They’re wrong, but that’s what they’re positing. [Slate]

* Dr. Ruth is incredibly impressive. Next time you complain about the job market, try moving somewhere with no understanding of the language and getting your own TV show. [What About Clients?]

* Documentary about eDiscovery going on a six-city tour. This way other people can understand how much it sucks to do document review. [Bloomberg BNA]

* UC Hastings students are protesting their own graduation. [Change.org]

* Judges are an autocratic lot, and as long as we inflate the criminal justice system, many of them will be subpar and autocratic, which is an unfortunate combination. [Katz Justice]

* A man arrested for a carjacking and shooting up an apartment last week is — per our sources — a law student at Florida Coastal. Probably testing out the Crim issue spotter. [News4Jax]

* Are lawyers the new dentists? Or something like that. [TaxProf Blog]

* Man attempting suicide by cop told detectives he’d wanted to be killed and was disappointed in the officers’ marksmanship. [Seattle Times]

aging_ghost

[Plaintiff alleges he was extorted out of $90,000 on threat of] the defendant using the souls of the baby ghosts in the possession or control of the defendant to curse the plaintiff if he did not provide the funds.

– The complaint of Jian Liang Hu, filed in British Columbia by lawyer Mark B. Thompson. Jian claims he was blackmailed by spooky dead babies. I’d like to think dead baby souls have more on their agenda than settling scores for unscrupulous businesspeople. Like watching Frozen 10 times a day like live babies do.

law_school1-e1366307549559Give this ad agency a medal because they know their target audience. If the goal is reaching college students who break into Pavlovian wretching at the mere mention of the other local university, just rip that rival to shreds in the name of business. Imagine Springfield U. and Springfield A&M with law schools.

Anyway, a tipster sent us a shot of a new ad that takes it to that hated rival…

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Supreme Court Justice Seamus McCaffreyA few weeks ago, Pennsylvania learned that its justice system spends all its time trading porn over the Internet when it isn’t taking kickbacks for wrongfully jailing children. This all came to light as part of the ongoing investigation into Why-Did-None-of-You-Do-Anything-About-Jerry-Sanduskygate because of course it did. You can’t be expected to do anything about an inveterate child molester when you’ve got one hand… well, doing other things.

The investigation found its way to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, where Justice Seamus McCaffrey received around 60 of these emails and forwarded at least 8 to someone at the AG’s office.

As of yesterday, Justice McCaffrey is temporarily out of a job courtesy of a salacious Per Curiam Order denouncing the alleged traffic in “highly demeaning portrayals of members of various segments of the population, including women, elderly persons, and uniformed school girls.”

Perfect. And it turns out trading porn is the least of the allegations against Justice McCaffrey….

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220px-Eric_Holder_official_portrait* Eric Holder gave millions to Nazis! Or at least that’s how Darrell Issa will put it. But seriously, the Department of Justice has a long-standing policy of allowing Nazi war criminals to collect Social Security payments if they agree to get the hell out of the U.S. [Associated Press via New Europe]

* A Cleveland attorney, Peter Pattakos, is not worried about contracting Ebola, even though he was in a room with a current Ebola patient, because Pattakos is neither a crazy person nor a cable news producer and realizes that he never exchanged bodily fluids with the patient. As he points out, “I’m much more likely to be mistakenly killed by a police officer in this country than to be killed by Ebola, even if you were in the same bridal shop.” [Cleveland.com]

* Chanel is suing What About Yves for trademark infringement. The question Professor Colman asks is whether “we really want a trademark ‘protection’ regime in which mark ‘owners’ can prevent creative, non-confusing uses of ‘their property.'” [Law of Fashion]

* One for the career alternatives file: Miami lawyer who ranks local restaurants opens his own restaurant. At ATL we rank law schools, maybe we should open our own law school. [Southern District of Florida Blog]

* Academic publishers fighting the war on common sense by charging an arm and a leg for access to research that is written and peer reviewed by other people for free scored a victory on Friday when the Eleventh Circuit rejected the lower court’s articulation of educational fair use in the digital age. [The Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Balancing parenthood and the “jealous mistress” that is the practice of law. [Jed Cain]

* An amazing symposium on campaign finance reform from the NYU Law Review and the Brennan Center for Justice. It’s a wealth of content. [NYU Law Review]

* Josh Gilliland from The Legal Geeks gave a presentation on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Law at the San Diego Comic Fest, which sounds much more fun than any “and the Law” class I ever took. He’s provided his slideshow presentation…

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AlitoIf there is any justice in the world, this will revolutionize the way you consume Supreme Court news. Because the Supreme Court continues to ban video coverage of their proceedings, we’re either left waiting for Lyle to get to a phone or listening to horrible audio clips against a sketch artist’s backdrop.

Now we have a new tool to make Supreme Court coverage downright amazing. Recognizing the power of cat videos on the Internet, HBO’s John Oliver has recreated a Supreme Court oral argument playing audio clips over video of dogs representing the Supreme Court (and a chicken pecking away as the stenographer). The finished product is almost embarrassingly compelling. And Oliver encourages everyone in the media to use his raw footage to create their own SCOTUS coverage, so the ball is in your court, CNN.

Read on to see this work of genius. Come for the oral argument coverage, stay for the point where Justice Alito tries to hump Justice Kagan….

UPDATE (10/21/14, 2:35 p.m.): Check out the part on the next page where these dogs are used to recreate the Hobby Lobby argument. The whole oral argument.

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A gaggle of Harvard Law professors took to the pages of the Boston Globe to complain about Harvard University’s new sexual harassment policy. Some are siding with the professors who raise serious-sounding concerns about the lack of “due process” in the Harvard policy, drafted in rapid response to the Department of Education’s report calling out a number of campuses for woefully inadequate sexual misconduct policies.

It’s the sort of thing professors like to do because it makes them feel cool to be all contrarian to suggest that cracking down on the systematic mistreatment of women is somehow a bad thing. Throwing the veneer of “rights” in there makes it sound all highfalutin too. And there’s good reason to worry about due process generally. Over at Redline, Elie is super concerned about it. Elie has been duped.

But when you dig into the law professors’ letter, it’s really kind of offensively dumb…

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* TSA vs. the Nobel Prize. [Lowering the Bar]

* A judge accidentally leaked the name of a juvenile in a juvenile sex case. But more to the point, this case is about a boy having a three-way with two of his English teachers on one of the teacher’s birthdays. I mean… South Park. [The Times-Picayune]

* Teaching torts rots your brain. Maybe. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Houston officials are backing away from their subpoena of sermons delivered by anti-gay pastors trying to get their congregation to sign petitions — even if the signatures were potentially fraudulent. [The Blaze]

* Stand Your Ground laws find new ways to be dumb. More cases of abused women trying to evoke Stand Your Ground laws and being told that states really only meant for those to protect white dudes shooting black kids. [Slate]

* A funny and insightful look at exactly how hearings go down at Gitmo. [New Jurist]

* A federal judge has recused the entire Eastern District of California from a case on the basis of allegations that federal prosecutors systematically defrauded the court. Prosecutors misbehaving? That’s unpossible! [New York Observer]

Do you want to prove that you know more about the Supreme Court than anybody else? Do you just like money? Do you want to humiliate Above the Law editors?

If your answer to any of these questions was yes — and I suspect your answer to ALL of these questions was yes — then sign up at FantasySCOTUS and play against us predicting all the outcomes of the October 2014 Term.

There’s $10,000 in it for you if you’re good….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Play FantasySCOTUS With The ATL Editors”

* Looks like someone took a lesson from ATL’s Worst Law School bracket and put out a Worst Colleges in America list. We provide a very important service. [NPR]

* Converse is suing over 31 alleged Chuck Taylor imitators. Are they mounting a “full court press”? Get it? Yeah there was pretty much no way around that one. [Fashionista]

* Lawsuit reveals that struggling business couldn’t keep stores open but could shell out to keep CEO in her 4,560-square-foot home. [Seattle Times]

* Harvard Law faculty members join a statement protesting the university’s new sexual harassment policy. [Boston Globe]

* Is a sheath dress acceptable interview attire? Asking for a friend. [Corporette]

* Aaron Zelinsky’s interesting review of Lat’s upcoming novel, Supreme Ambitions, viewing the characters through the lens of William Deresiewicz’s Excellent Sheep (affiliate links). [Huffington Post Books]

* Which is more galling? That the magistrate tried to weasel out of performing a legal same-sex marriage or that the newspaper felt this worthy of a poll? [The Virginian-Pilot (Hampton Roads)]

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