Joe Patrice

Posts by Joe Patrice

‘We’re all going to be Free Speech lawyers for underprivileged!’

* This law school will only accept students who want to be lawyers for the “right” reasons. In other words they’re admitting everyone because literally no admissions essay ever says, “I want to be a lawyer so I can make bank covering up a Ponzi scheme.” [Huffington Post]

* Chelsea Clinton is pregnant. Do you ponder how this will impact Hillary’s 2016 plans? Then you’re stupid or sexist or both. [The Baffler]

* Sexually harassing unpaid interns with the full protection of the law was fun while it lasted in New York. [Slate]

* Mark Herrmann shows you how to write articles that are not only boring but that actually deter anyone from trusting you as a lawyer. [The Young Lawyer / ABA]

* How do you deal with political talk in the office? Booze helps. [Corporette]

* More on the wackadoo pro se legal theory that having fringe on an American flag merits an automatic dismissal. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* The rent is too damn high! [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Remaining calm when your client can’t. [Katz Justice]

* Lawyer makes cookies out of vegetables. It sounds gross to me, but I’m willing to try anything once. [Globe & Mail]

I am writing to share some great news about Florida Coastal School of Law’s latest bar passage results released this week. Out of the 11 law schools in the state, Coastal Law’s bar passage rate of 72.9% is ranked in the top 5…

Nicole C. Schumer, the Assistant Director of Admissions at Florida Coastal Law (an ATL March Madness Final Four school), struggling to find the positive.

Finishing 5th out of 11 is a solid “Gentleman’s ‘D’” for the jewel of the Infilaw crown, but Schumer is intent on slathering lipstick all over this pig by hailing it as a “top 5″ achievement. Let’s help her out. Out of 11 Florida law schools, Florida Coastal is Number 1 in graduate underemployment! Number 1!

(Keep reading to see the whole press release.)

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Judges can be really picky about courtroom attire. Some think women dress like ignorant sluts (they were probably showing elbows). Others hate ascots and comfortable shoes. On the other hand, apparently some let lawyers wear rented costumes. Judges are gods and goddesses of their domain and lawyers have to be ready to adhere to the whims of the bench.

Even if the judge’s whims are ridiculous.

Like this judge who got bent out of shape just because a male lawyer was having a pants off dance off in her courtroom….

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* Cheerios is claiming that “Liking” them on Facebook constitutes a waiver of the right to sue. Let’s take this moment to encourage everyone to Like Above the Law on Facebook. [NY Times]

* New study determines that the United States is an oligarchy instead of a democracy. You’re telling me that a government explicitly founded on the principle that only a handful of wealthy men should have a voice grew into an oligarchy? Quelle surprise! [UPI]

* Oh look, John Edwards is back. [Slate]

* In the continuing saga of NYU’s allegedly shady spending, there are now reports that former NYU Law Dean and current NYU President John Sexton used school funds to convert two apartments into a duplex for his son. His son was married to an NYU Law employee and as I’ve said before, a school located in housing-scarce Manhattan should be able to do something to house professors, but as they say, “the optics” aren’t good. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Musings on what it’s like to clerk in the midst of “flyover country” (presumably like my early childhood home of Des Moines). It makes a valiant effort to redeem itself at the end, but this article is exactly why most parts of the country think New Yorkers are elitist dicks. Which, we kind of are, but you don’t want to broadcast that. [Ramblings on Appeal]

* The government is profiting handsomely from law students. Is that really a bad thing? [Law & Economics Prof Blog]

* A D.C. law professor is now a movie star. [Washington City Paper]

* The judge in the New Orleans Affordable Housing case may know the real identity of one of the anonymous commenters in the case. And if one of the anonymous trolls was a federal prosecutor poisoning the well in the case — like everyone suspects — it could aid the defense. [Times-Picayune]

* For those of you across the pond, there’s a one-day event for lawyers on the business case for Corporate Social Responsibility. It’s in England because American companies have already passed on the idea of corporate responsibility. [International Law Society]

Making your way in the legal world these days is tough. We’ve seen lawyers who’ve had to turn to stripping, prostitution, and even whoring. It’s just hard to make ends meet when jobs are tight and debt’s creeping up on you.

Which is why this woman may have the right idea. She got all her stripping out of the way before law school so she could pay the bills and now she takes nude glamour shots (or at least semi-nude — she covers herself just enough) for 12 hours a week and lives the high life while still in law school. Pretty sweet deal. Her experience can be an inspiration for Belle Knox’s plan to finance law school with porn stardom.

So let’s take a closer look. And by look, I mean here are some (safe for most workplaces) pictures…

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Yesterday, Alex Rich brought us the story of a job in South Carolina offering a mere 6 bits over the minimum wage.

How can any employer possibly top that? I mean, short of the government or federal judges trying to use unpaid interns, that is. Well, maybe if someone offered a super low-paying job and that job was in New York City. Not to besmirch the good, sweet-tea-loving population of South Carolina, but it’s not quite the same. The $8/hour in South Carolina has about the same buying power as roughly $38,000/year in Manhattan. That’s… bad.

Well, one New York firm is offering $6.25/hour….

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The legal market for new grads is still sadder than a Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial. Job opportunities are still few and far between, and median salaries are taking a hit.

If you wanted to see all that sadness in one super-convenient graphic, we have you covered. Stick this on the wall of your law school dorm room.

Hopefully at one of those law schools where more than 50 percent of graduates land jobs….

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* ATTENTION LAW STUDENTS: Tomorrow is the last day to enter our annual Law Revue competition. The deadline is tomorrow at 5 so send them in. Entries have been coming in all day, so don’t get left out. [Above the Law]

* It looks like the Supreme Court just made a decision even worse than McCutcheon. [SCOTUSBlog]

* New York’s disciplinary procedures for lawyers are “deficient in design and operation.” So come to New York if you plan on being a shady lawyer, I guess. [NY Times]

* More on the law school apology by Erwin Chemerinsky and Carrie Menkel-Meadow that Lat wrote about yesterday. [The Write Stuff]

* And, hey, while we’re at it, here’s Steven J. Harper’s take on the same Op-Ed. [The Lawyer Bubble]

* UC Hastings Professor Osagie Obasogie is quoted in this informative piece about the changing nature of collegiate debate as it ventures more and more into the domain of critical race theory. As one of the people who helps run the CEDA tournament discussed in the article, I thought this was an interesting account. [The Atlantic]

* FBI makes a cheesy video to teach young Americans not to spy for China. It’s really worth a watch. [National Journal]

* A high school teacher in Australia won a defamation suit against a student who said mean things on Facebook. [IT-Lex]

* The Legal Broadcast Network interviewed Kyle McEntee of Law School Transparency about how improved tools help law students. [Legal Broadcast Network]

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* The annual Peeps In Law contest is open! Voting is open until 11:59 p.m. on April 21. [ABA Journal]

* A comprehensive look at the law school reputation rank component of the U.S. News rankings. Maybe Professor Illig can take heart that lawyers and judges still like Oregon better than U.S. News. [Tipping the Scales]

* Airline tells passenger to, um, screw herself. There’s no lawsuit yet, but that’s inevitable. [New York Magazine]

* Here are lawyers in wigs in cat selfies. The Internet is amazing. [Legal Cheek]

* New Jersey has finally issued a memo calling for more training for its judges in response to the veritable Debtor’s Prison they’ve fostered. [Bergen Dispatch]

* An engaged couple won the UVA Moot Court competition. Nothing says romance like researching for fake arguments. [UVA Law]

* Remember the Jennifer Gaubert story? She was the lawyer and former radio host who accused a cab driver of sexual harassment… and then the authorities watched the cabbie’s video and decided she was totally lying. Well, now that video is available. Watch it below…. [YouTube]

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Picture of Banana Lady taken from Judge Posner’s opinion.

As it turns out, it was in fact a banana, and she was absolutely not happy to see Judge Posner.

The ridiculous isn’t entirely new to Judge Posner. He’s seen lawyers treating his courtroom as a schoolyard and issued benchslaps complete with pictures of men burying their heads in sand.

But he doubtless never expected to be writing an opinion chastising a woman in a banana suit….

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