Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for Above the Law in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she pseudonymously wrote the site's Morning Docket column. Staci graduated from Lehigh University and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. Before deciding to pursue writing as a full-time career, Staci worked at a small law firm. Her writing has appeared in other legal publications, such as Judgepedia, Lawyerist, and Ms. JD. She has been featured on various television and radio programs, like CNBC's Power Lunch, HuffPost Live, TF1 TV France, Chicago Public Radio, and Civil Discourse Now.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

  • really have to pee

    Bar Exams

    Which State Is Limiting How Many Times You Can Pee During The Bar Exam?

    No one wants to see a bar examinee piss himself during the test — except for the National Conference of Bar Examiners, that is.

    17 Comments / / Feb 19, 2015 at 12:03 PM
  • Loretta Lynch (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.19.15

    * “Let’s face it: There are some people here that will not vote for her unless she says what they want her to say, that the president committed an illegal act by these [immigration] executive orders.” Loretta Lynch is having a tough time making Republican friends. [The Hill]

    * Some new details have been released on the investigation into DLA Piper associate David Messerschmitt’s death. Per police records, he was stabbed in the back, and was found in his hotel room with “lubricant and condom” and an “enema.” We’ll have more on this development later today. [Legal Times]

    * The rankings are coming! THE RANKINGS ARE COMING! Rankings guru Bob Morse, the man who holds law school deans’ jobs in his hands, says the 2016 U.S. News Law School Rankings will be out on March 10. [Morse Code / U.S. News & World Report]

    * A patent lawyer with Asperger’s syndrome is suing Patterson & Sheridan for discrimination. In his suit, he claims that a prominent partner was allowed to continually harass him in a purported quest to drive him out. Ah, law firm life. [The Recorder]

    * The case against the ex-leaders of Dewey & LeBoeuf hinges on the testimony of the failed firm’s former employees. Defense attorneys, of course, are trying to get things barred from admission — including one defendant’s link to a mob member. [New York Law Journal]

    * “We’re still in the same position we’ve been in. There’s progress, but things are moving at a snail’s pace.” As we mentioned earlier this week, according to NALP, the percentage of women associates in law firms is up… but not by much. [DealBook / New York Times]

    * One of the best law schools in the country will have a brand new dean come this summer. Congratulations to Theodore Ruger, a longtime law professor who will assume the deanship at the University of Pennsylvania Law School in July. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

    26 Comments / / Feb 19, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • "Just Sing It" Launch Event

    Lindsay Lohan

    Lindsay Lohan’s Lawyer Loathes The Likes Of TMZ

    She’s got a bone to pick with the celebrity news site over a conspiracy it concocted over her client’s completion of court-ordered community service.

    19 Comments / / Feb 18, 2015 at 11:45 AM
  • Justice Clarence Thomas

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.18.15

    * Could it be? Did Justice Clarence Thomas ask a question during oral arguments at SCOTUS? No, but he did ask a question at Yale Law during a presentation, noting that he doesn’t ask “irrelevant, useless questions” at the high court. [Legal Times]

    * Per NALP, gains were made by women and minorities in law firms for the first time in years, but be careful, because Jim Leipold is watching you: “Individual law firms should not be allowed to hide behind the national figures.” [National Law Journal]

    * Meet Judge Robert C. Brack of the District Court of New Mexico, who recently earned quite the accolade. Judge Brack has sentenced more defendants than any other federal judge in the past five years. He won’t be celebrating his achievement. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * This Georgetown Law professor, who happens to be the cofounder of one of the country’s largest litigation finance firms, wants to see a law firm IPO, but others wonder if lawyers would be able to ethically practice while reporting to shareholders. [Washington Post]

    * A Chadbourne & Park employee has been banned from ever working for another law firm again following his theft of $15,360 from C&P’s coffers. Not to worry, no client money was pilfered from the firm — the cash was taken from an open office account. [Am Law Daily]

    * If you haven’t heard, David Lat wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and “[w]riting the novel was almost therapeutic for [him] in a way” — he’s “kind of over” the fact that his résumé doesn’t include a SCOTUS clerkship. [Chicago Daily Law Bulletin]

    * Martha Africa, name partner of Major Lindsey & Africa, RIP. [San Francisco Chronicle]

    17 Comments / / Feb 18, 2015 at 9:03 AM
  • Judge Bill Weisenberger

    Racism, State Judges Are Clowns

    Judge Indicted For Allegedly Attacking, Screaming Racial Slur At Mentally Disabled Man

    If true, the allegations against the judge are absolutely insane.

    24 Comments / / Feb 17, 2015 at 2:32 PM
  • law school sexual harassment

    Law Professors, Law Schools, Sex

    Law Student Regales Us With Tales Of Dirty Sex With Her Professor

    Have any of you actually slept with one of your law school professors?

    79 Comments / / Feb 17, 2015 at 12:04 PM
  • lawyer snow angel

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.17.15

    * Following NBC’s announcement of his six-month suspension without pay, Brian Williams turned to Robert Barnett of Williams & Connolly to save his career. The pair met when they were Supreme Court clerks — oopsie, we guess that’s another misrepresentation. [Am Law Daily]

    * “We weren’t about to ask them to risk life and limb to get in.” As Boston braces for yet another snowstorm, Biglaw firms are trying to figure out how they can continue to operate. Punxsutawney Phil is keeping the wheels of justice from turning. [National Law Journal]

    * The Supreme Court has granted Colorado an extension to respond to a lawsuit filed by Nebraska and Oklahoma which claims that its decision to legalize marijuana was unconstitutional. Puff, puff, pass this cert vote, SCOTUS. [Cannabist / Denver Post]

    * Regulators! Mount up… and then run away to your new Biglaw firms. Preet Bharara’s S.D.N.Y. roster is constantly changing thanks to the golden handcuffs large law firms offer, but Bharara still “love[s] all [his] children equally.” [DealBook / New York Times]

    * David Messerschmitt, the DLA Piper associate who was found dead in a Washington, D.C., hotel room last week, is remembered by his colleagues as “someone so talented and so nice.” There have been no new breaks in his murder investigation. [Legal Times]

    14 Comments / / Feb 17, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • Thanks, Davis Polk!

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.16.15

    Ed. note: Due to the Presidents’ Day holiday, we will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will still be publishing, but less frequently than usual. We will be back in full force tomorrow.

    * The news is in, and it seems that Davis Polk’s financial numbers were at record highs. The firm’s revenue beat the $1 billion mark for the first time ever, and its PPP rose to $3.29 million. No wonder its 2014 bonuses were so awesome! [Am Law Daily]

    * Yes, we know that William Mitchell Law and Hamline Law are merging to survive as a result of a quickly disappearing applicant pool. We’d really love to know how many other law schools are considering this as an alternative to closing their doors. [Star Tribune]

    * How are Nebraska and Oklahoma, which neighbor Colorado, where marijuana has been legalized, handling the situation? Not well. Their AGs want SCOTUS to rule the weed law in the state where you can get Rocky Mountain High is unconstitutional. [PBS NewsHour]

    * Thanks to a recent ABA rule change, schools are beginning to admit students without LSAT scores. One of those schools is Iowa Law (ranked in the top 30 by U.S. News), but those students need to have done really well on other standardized tests. [Daily Iowan]

    * “How have I done as a judge today?” “Not bad, but you could do better.” Judge John Hurley had a run-in with an 80-year-old criminal defendant who wouldn’t stop calling him sweetheart. Flip to the next page to see the entertaining video. [NBC 6 South Florida]

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=mEQp33kr2O8#t=0

    32 Comments / / Feb 16, 2015 at 9:08 AM
  • angry summer associate

    Clerkships, State Judges

    Law Clerk Files Totally Unhinged Lawsuit Against His Own Judge

    Who do you think is telling the truth, the tenured judge, or his allegedly “disgruntled law clerk”?

    82 Comments / / Feb 13, 2015 at 2:15 PM
  • Stanford Law Sports Studying

    Caption Contests, Law Schools, Sports

    Caption Contest Winner: Law School Ruins Sporting Events

    Law school is so tough that students have to study all the time — even when it’s embarrassing to be caught doing so.

    10 Comments / / Feb 13, 2015 at 11:29 AM
  • RBG Red Cup RF

    Drinking, Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    Drunk Justice: Ruth Bader Ginsburg Wasn’t ‘100 Percent Sober’ During State Of The Union

    The Notorious R.B.G. vowed to “stay away from the wine,” but she just couldn’t help herself.

    26 Comments / / Feb 13, 2015 at 10:03 AM
  • Amanda Knox

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.13.15

    * Amanda Knox, everyone’s favorite convicted/acquitted/convicted murderess, just got engaged to a musician she’s known since middle school. Aww, that’s cute and nice, but what we’d really like to know is where she’s registered for cutlery. [People]

    * Loretta Lynch’s confirmation vote was postponed because per Chairman Chuck Grassley, she apparently submitted dissatisfying answers to the Senate Judiciary Committee’s post-hearing questions. Some says that she’s being held to a double standard… likely because she is being held to a double standard. [National Law Journal]

    * Yesterday afternoon, Judge Callie V.S. Granade ordered that probate judges in Alabama issue same-sex marriage licenses. Sorry Chief Justice Roy Moore, but you better get ready, because the tide of gay marriage is gonna roll. ROLL TIDE ROLL! [National Law Journal]

    * Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says she’s not going to give up on women’s rights cases at the Supreme Court, despite the fact that she’s got male colleagues who “don’t fully appreciate the arbitrary barriers that have been put in women’s way.” [Bloomberg]

    * According to the latest report from Citi Private Bank Law Firm Group, Biglaw firms, “across the board,” are doing better than they were last year, but the biggest Biglaw firms are doing the best, of course. We’ll have more on this later today. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * A Texas lawmaker has proposed a bill that would appoint legal representation to a fetus if its mother is brain dead. “You’ll hear what the family wants, and you’ll also give the pre-born child a chance to have a voice in court at that same time.” [Dallas Morning News]

    * New York Law School is launching a two-year law degree program, and students will only have to pay two-thirds of the $147,720 that they normally would have had to. For the record, not all two-year degree programs are cheaper. [Crain’s New York Business]

    43 Comments / / Feb 13, 2015 at 9:05 AM
  • sexual harassment

    Romance and Dating

    This Proves That Lawyers Love To Bang Their Coworkers

    Lawyers don’t even TRY to avoid office romances.

    50 Comments / / Feb 12, 2015 at 1:15 PM
  • Divorce Fight

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.12.15

    * With Valentine’s Day nearly upon us, and many lawyers waiting to pop the big question this weekend, we must let our readers know that nothing could possibly be more romantic than a prenuptial agreement. Eww, just kidding. [Total Return / Wall Street Journal]

    * On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you can’t stand your spouse anymore, you can stay for a Valentine’s weekend at the Divorce Hotel in upstate New York. For the low, low price of $5,000, you can check in married and check out single. [New York Post]

    * “Usually, people have told me, when you’re stopped, the officer says, ‘License and registration.’” Here’s a Supreme Court fun fact for you to keep up your sleeve: Chief Justice John Roberts has never been pulled over by a police officer in his life. [Slate]

    * According to a recent study conducted by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, lawyers are the exception to the rule when it comes to pay growth stagnation. “Top earners gonna earn” — by 1,450 percent compared to the competition. [Wonkblog / Washington Post]

    * There’s a warrant out for Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog who brought this wintry hell upon the Northeast. “He told several people that winter would last 6 more weeks, however he failed to disclose that it would consist of mountains of snow!” [CBS Boston]

    9 Comments / / Feb 12, 2015 at 8:27 AM
  • fashion runway

    Events, Fashion

    3 Things You Must Know If You Want To Work In Fashion Law

    If you’re interested in becoming a fashion attorney, here are some takeaways you can use to get a better understanding of the industry before you dive in.

    / Feb 11, 2015 at 2:31 PM
  • Angry businessman shouting

    Food, Law Schools

    Law Student Loses His Mind In Nasty Note, Wishes Decades Of Debt Upon Classmates

    Feast your eyes upon the ramblings of a pissed-off law student.

    87 Comments / / Feb 11, 2015 at 12:40 PM
  • Stanford Law Sports Studying

    Caption Contests, Law Schools, Sports

    Caption Contest Finalists: Law School Ruins Sporting Events

    Maybe these law students were scoring the basketball game the old school way — not studying in the stands.

    32 Comments / / Feb 11, 2015 at 11:45 AM
  • That's. So. Gay.

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.11.15

    * Today’s inspirational human being: An ordained minister in Alabama was arrested after offering to perform a same-sex marriage inside a probate judge’s office. She says she’ll do it again, even though she knows she’ll likely be rearrested for doing so. [USA Today]

    * Meanwhile, Judge Callie V.S. Granade will hear arguments on whether she must order Alabama judges to issue marriage license to gay couples. Granade is the one who ruled the state’s ban was unconstitutional in the first place. [New York Times]

    * Per Major Lindsey & Africa’s 2014 Partner Compensation Survey, women partners have finally beaten men when it comes to law firm compensation. Wait, no, that’s not true, it’s just an “anomaly,” and “[t]hese women might be outliers.” [The Careerist]

    * Blank Rome’s ex-chairman donated $5M to Villanova Law to establish an ethics and compliance center. You’re a few years too late, pal. The school could’ve used an ethics and compliance center to avert its admissions scandal. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

    * “The legal profession can benefit from more diversity. Should those students only attend low-ranked law schools? Absolutely not.” As we mentioned previously, law school diversity has improved, but only at the bottom. [National Law Journal]

    24 Comments / / Feb 11, 2015 at 9:02 AM