Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for ATL in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she helped write ATL’s Morning Docket under the pseudonym Morning Dockette. Her writing has been featured on other legal blogs, such as Lawyerist and Ms. JD. Staci graduated from Lehigh University, and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. In her spare time, Staci enjoys watching reality television, shopping for clothes she doesn't need with money she doesn't have, and singing along to Lady Gaga's latest hits.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

She’s not a porn star, she’s a law student. We could see where you might be confused by that one.

* Now that we know Eric Holder is resigning, there’s been speculation as to where he’ll go next. The obvious choice is a return to Covington & Burling, but he could still surprise everyone. [National Law Journal]

* “Judicial campaign cash is burning a hole in the Constitution.” State court judges are pumping money into their election campaigns, and some have been left to wonder about its true price. [New York Times]

* Details have emerged as to conditions that must be met for Bingham McCutchen’s proposed merger with Morgan Lewis: partner promises, de-equitizations, and forgivable loans, oh my! [Reuters (sub. req.)]

* In the wake of Dean Makau Mutua’s decision to step down at Buffalo Law, a “deep rift” among faculty has been brought to light. The school’s future doesn’t seem as “bright” as we were once told. [Buffalo News]

* A former law student who was falsely identified as a porn star on the radio had her day in court and pulled out a win. Here’s the money shot: she’s walking away with $1 million in damages. [Kansas City Star]

Think carefully. Everything after this moment will not only determine your career, but life. You can spend it in a corporate office drafting contracts and hitting on chubby paralegals before finally putting a gun in your mouth, or you can join my firm and become someone you actually like. So decide: do you want the job or not?

– Professor Annalise Keating, played by Viola Davis, after confronting a first-year law student during a scene on How to Get Away with Murder, a new legal thriller that premiered last night on ABC.

(The show, complete with absurd dialogue — like the 1L who brags about his recent summer internship with Chief Justice Roberts — and even more ridiculous plotlines — like the 1Ls who quote case law while deciding where to bury a body — is loosely based on attending Penn Law.)

Kamala D. Harris is ‘by far, the best looking attorney general.’

* Solicitor General Don Verrilli may be a frontrunner to replace Eric Holder as attorney general, but the competition seems to be stiff. Kamala Harris, anyone? [USA Today]

* FBI Director James Comey is annoyed by Apple and Google marketing their encryption prowess for privacy’s sake — it’ll “allow people to place themselves beyond the law.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* White & Case just hopped aboard the onshore outsourcing train with its announcement that it would open a services center in Tampa, Florida. The move will create about 100 jobs, but we’d love to know how many it’s negating. [Tampa Bay Times]

* Slater & Gordon, the world’s first publicly traded law firm, has been on an “acquisition spree” in England. Earlier this month, it picked up a patent practice, and now it’s in talks with a litigation shop. [Am Law Daily]

* “Law school is a major gamble,” and people are more informed, but that somehow isn’t stopping people from applying. This is a great article to read if you’re still considering going all in. [New York Observer]


I believe there will be, in all likelihood, about a half-dozen schools that are on anybody’s watch list.

Michael Olivas, former president of the Association of American Law Schools, speaking about the future of law schools amid a discussion of the financial troubles Thomas Jefferson School of Law is currently facing, a situation that he described in the Chronicle of Higher Education as “a canary in the coal mine of legal education.”

(Which law schools do you think will be the first to shutter? Let us know.)

Do you recognize this rapper?

Given the glut of lawyers and law firms to choose from out there, the way their services are advertised grows more and more important each day. Sure, prospective clients are looking for skilled representation, but standing in front of a wall of legal books in a low-budget commercial can only do so much to prove your intelligence. Sometimes, clients are looking for that extra something, that je ne sais quoi that even they don’t know they want until they see it on their television screens at home.

Say, for example, that you happen to know a rapper so famous that he’s one of the highest-paid hip-hop entertainers on Earth. You’d definitely want that guy to appear in your commercials, wouldn’t you?

That’s exactly what one small law firm did. Which rapper is helping them make it rain?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Personal Injury Law Firm Convinces Famous Rapper To Star In Its Commercials”

Mike Sorrentino

* Per the First Circuit, plaintiffs who successfully challenge the Defense of Marriage Act in court aren’t entitled to attorneys’ fees. The Department of Justice had no comment. [National Law Journal]

* Florida Coastal Law finished second-to-last in bar passage for the July 2014 exam, with 58% of grads passing. It was one of Florida Coastal’s worst performances to date. [Florida Times-Union]

* ASU Law got a $10M donation, its largest ever. “The remarkable thing about it is we didn’t ask him for it,” says the dean, which is a slightly better response than Drexel’s dean had. [The Republic]

* Much to his defense team’s chagrin, accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s trial will remain in Boston. The media spectacle is set to begin in January 2015. [New York Times]

* Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame was indicted on tax fraud charges to the tune of $8.9M. He pleaded not guilty yesterday afternoon. There aren’t tanning beds in jail. :( [Asbury Park Press]

Many people enter the legal profession with the expectation that the public will see them as members of a noble trade to be revered and admired. Unfortunately, that’s simply not the case at all. For every would-be Atticus Finch, there exists an off-color lawyer joke. If you’d call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean “a good start,” then you’re not alone.

According to a new study, although lawyers are viewed by the public as part of an “envied” profession, no one really likes them. Sure, lawyers may gain a scant amount of respect from some, but when you’re viewed generally as heartless bastards, no one will trust you…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Scientific Study Concludes No One Trusts Lawyers”

Dinesh D’Souza

* The United States is launching air strikes against ISIS in Syria and Iraq, but some have been compelled to wonder whether it’s legal under international law. Of course it’s legal, under the Rule of ‘MERICA, F*CK YEAH! [BBC]

* Dewey know whether this failed firm’s former COO can get out of paying $9.3M to its bankruptcy trustee? Dewey know whether we’ll ever be able to stop using this pun? Sadly, the answer to both questions is no. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Marc Dreier of the defunct Dreier LLP has been ordered to testify in person in his firm’s bankruptcy case in Manhattan, but he’d rather stay in the comforts of his prison home in Minnesota. Aww. [Bloomberg]

* Dinesh D’Souza won’t have to do hard prison time for his campaign-finance violations. Instead, he’ll be spending eight months in a “community confinement center,” which sounds just peachy. [New York Times]

* Northwestern Law is launching a campaign to fundraise $150M to be spent on an endless supply of Chick-fil-A sandwiches financial aid for students and curriculum improvements. [National Law Journal]

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Who do you think President Obama could appoint at this very day, given the boundaries that we have? If I resign any time this year, he could not successfully appoint anyone I would like to see in the court. [The Senate] took off the filibuster for lower federal court appointments, but it remains for this court. So anybody who thinks that if I step down, Obama could appoint someone like me, they’re misguided. As long as I can do the job full steam…. I think I’ll recognize when the time comes that I can’t any longer. But now I can.

– Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, commenting on when we can expect her to retire, in an interview with Elle. The full interview is in Elle’s October issue.

Chick-fil-A: tastes like hate?

Every year, law students find themselves at odds with each other thanks to the convenience of school-wide listservs. Where else can you spew all of your vitriol at classmates with just the click of a button? Welcome to law school, folks.

Perhaps the most storied law school listserv belongs to Northwestern University School of Law, where the “PC Police” live to serve. As we’ve noted in the past, “[t]he school seems to have a number of students who are easily offended. Some of the kids there overreact at the slightest provocation.”

So what happens when something that’s actually offensive occurs? For example, what do you think would happen if a conservative student group like the Federalist Society were to host a debate on same-sex marriage, with food catered by Chick-fil-A? As you can imagine, students lost their minds…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fed Soc Chapter Offers Chick-fil-A At Gay Marriage Event With Disastrous Results”

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