Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for Above the Law in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she pseudonymously wrote the site's Morning Docket column. Staci graduated from Lehigh University and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. Before deciding to pursue writing as a full-time career, Staci worked at a small law firm. Her writing has appeared in other legal publications, such as Judgepedia, Lawyerist, and Ms. JD. She has been featured on various television and radio programs, like CNBC's Power Lunch, HuffPost Live, TF1 TV France, Chicago Public Radio, and Civil Discourse Now.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

  • Lawyer Zen

    Fabulosity, Weirdness

    Smells Like DWI: Law-Scented Candles Are A Thing Now

    Your office smells like a cold, uninviting place, with undertones of Wite-Out and stale coffee. You need to fix this problem as soon as possible.

    14 Comments / / Feb 4, 2015 at 12:10 PM
  • A very 'special pen' for a very special lawyer.

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.04.15

    * When we first reported on this former law school dean’s arrest for prostitution, we weren’t sure if he was the alleged john. Now we know: SMU Law’s John Attanasio allegedly offered to pay an undercover officer $100 for “specific sexual acts.” [Dallas Morning News]

    * It seems that a lawyer in Nebraska lost his “special pen” at the courthouse, and he’d really like it to be returned to him. It’s not just any pen — it’s a $500 Montblanc Meisterstück. Help this man get his prestigious pen back. [Omaha World-Herald]

    * The early numbers on Cadwalader’s ranking in the Am Law 100 seems to indicate that would-be chair James Woolery got the hell out while the getting was still good. The firm’s profits per partner dropped by 15.3 percent in 2014. Ouch. [Am Law Daily]

    * “Being in the law school business looked like a good idea. Those days are over.” Enrollment continues to decline at law schools across the country, and in Virginia, class sizes are about 20 percent smaller than they were in 2011. [Roanoke Times]

    * When it comes to the recent murder-suicide of two Tulane Law students, “[p]eople are really surprised and baffled about what happened” because they say there were no warning signs. If you’re depressed, please seek help. [New Orleans Advocate]

    * Given the fact that children’s vaccinations have become a topic presidential candidates are debating, you should know that almost half the states allow anti-vaxxer parents to opt-out. Thanks for the measles, everyone! [WSJ Law Blog]

    57 Comments / / Feb 4, 2015 at 8:53 AM
  • Judge using hammer

    Federal Judges, Rudeness

    This Pissed-Off Judge Is Really Sick Of Discovery Disputes

    The judge was so annoyed with the litigants in this case that she wrote a rather sarcastic ruling.

    27 Comments / / Feb 3, 2015 at 12:30 PM
  • fighting gloves

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.03.15

    * You know that televised Supreme Court oral arguments are a technological advance that is far away from happening when even Elena Kagan, the youngest justice on the high court, is “very conflicted” about the idea. [Legal Times]

    * “Legal jujitsu. Lethal jujitsu.” Meet William “Hale” Kelly. He’s a second-year law student at Florida A&M by day, and an MMA fighter by night (i.e., he was punched in the head so many times he thought law school was a good idea). [Orlando Sentinel]

    * For the fourth year in a row, Skadden snagged the top spot in the Acritas Biglaw brand index. The firm’s competition — Jones Day, Baker & McKenzie, Kirkland & Ellis, and DLA Piper — is getting closer to overthrowing the ranking’s leader. [Am Law Daily]

    * Justice in the United States costs a pretty penny, and it’s obvious from the Department of Justice’s proposed 2016 budget of $28.7 billion. It’s too bad the White House set the DOJ’s budget at about $13.7 billion lower than that. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * “At none of these top law schools do Black enrollments reach 9 percent.” Diversity may be lacking at some of the nation’s top law schools, but minority students who are interested in law may find welcoming homes at lower-ranked schools. [U.S. News]

    15 Comments / / Feb 3, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • police crime tape

    Law Schools, Murder, Suicide

    Two Law Students Found Dead In Possible Murder-Suicide

    Additional information about this past weekend’s disturbing news.

    / Feb 2, 2015 at 12:01 PM
  • Prostitution2

    Law School Deans, Prostitution

    Former Law School Dean Busted On Prostitution Charge

    Members of law school administrations are just like us: they sometimes get arrested for salacious crimes.

    119 Comments / / Feb 2, 2015 at 10:13 AM
  • Ben Wilson needs to buy some Pats gear.

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 02.02.15

    * Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]

    * One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]

    * We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]

    * The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]

    * It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]

    * Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]

    35 Comments / / Feb 2, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • RBG Tattoo RF

    Caption Contests, Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    Caption Contest Winner: The Notorious R.B.G. Gets Inked

    Who designed this supremely awesome Notorious R.B.G. tattoo, and where can you get one just like it?

    5 Comments / / Jan 30, 2015 at 11:00 AM
  • Taylor Swift

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.30.15

    * Next time on Nancy Grace: A recent graduate of Michigan State Law allegedly got a master’s degree student from the school pregnant twice before he left the country. The woman allegedly murdered one of the babies, and the other is now missing. [Detroit Free Press]

    * I’ll just leave this right here so I won’t get fined. It looks like a partner from Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton helped Marshawn Lynch trademark his nickname “Beast Mode” — a trademark that may lead to Lynch getting a $100,000 fine from the NFL. [Am Law Daily]

    * In other trademark news, Taylor Swift got approval for catchphrases from her album. “Nice to Meet You, Where You Been?” Her IP lawyers “Could Show You Incredible Things,” but you could’ve been getting down to “This Sick Beat.” [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Gibson Dunn earned $459,000 for successfully challenging Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage, which was apparently a “sharp cut” in the fees the firm initially requested for star litigator Ted Olson’s time. Poor Teddy. [National Law Journal]

    * According to Am Law’s latest Lateral Partners Survey, there was a 7 percent increase in lateral moves — 2,736, to be precise — between Oct. 1, 2013 and Sept. 30, 2014. Guaranteed pay packages, though, seem to be a thing of the past. [American Lawyer]

    * The K&L Gates Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project, a clinic that’s perhaps better known as the firm’s revenge porn project, is assisting a California law student whose nude pictures and videos were allegedly put online by an ex. [DealBook / New York Times]

    9 Comments / / Jan 30, 2015 at 9:08 AM
  • lawyer tape over mouth

    Sexism, Women's Issues

    Sexism In The Legal Profession: An Uncomfortable Truth

    I’ll stop writing about sexism in the legal profession when there aren’t any more things for me to write about. Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever run out of material.

    1 Comment / / Jan 29, 2015 at 1:02 PM
  • NBA Law Prom Oklahoma Law

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.29.15

    * “I will be myself. I will be Loretta Lynch.” During the first day of her Senate Judiciary hearing, our would-be attorney general was cool, calm, and collected while delivering the news that she’s not Eric Holder. [National Law Journal]

    * Just how many retweets does it take for a law student at Oklahoma Law to convince Steven Adams of the Oklahoma City Thunder to go with her to law school prom (i.e., Barrister’s Ball)? Apparently only 1K. Come on, be her date, Steve! [FanSided]

    * After being arrested on bribery charges, New York Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver has decided to take a leave of absence from personal injury firm Weitz & Luxenberg — and to think, he was originally hired “to bring prestige to the firm.” [WSJ Law Blog]

    * “Chess trains you to always think of the worst-case scenario. A lot of the time, that’s what lawyers are hired to do—to think, ‘What’s the worst case and how can I manage it?’” The youngest Debevoise associate moonlights as a chess champ. [Am Law Daily]

    * Sue Ann Arnall, the ex-wife of billionaire Harold Hamm who first rejected a $975 million alimony check earlier this month and later cashed it, still thinks she should be able to appeal her divorce decree. This woman’s got some real chutzpah. [Bloomberg]

    9 Comments / / Jan 29, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • screaming-secretary

    Minority Issues, Money, Women's Issues

    If You’re A Woman Asking For A Raise, Your Boss Will Think You’re A Bitch

    Ever wonder why there’s a gender wage gap? It’s because of tired stereotypes like these.

    90 Comments / / Jan 28, 2015 at 12:46 PM
  • RBG Tattoo RF

    Caption Contests, Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    Caption Contest Finalists: The Notorious R.B.G. Gets Inked

    In this SCOTUS showdown, Justice Ginsburg clearly approves of the right to bare arms.

    9 Comments / / Jan 28, 2015 at 11:08 AM
  • Alexandra Marchuk and Juan Monteverde

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.28.15

    * There’s nothing like boner talk in federal court: Juan Monteverde of Faruqi & Faruqi reaffirmed his claim that he was too drunk to get it up “consummate the act” during the time Alexandra Marchuk alleged he forced sex upon her. [Law 360]

    * “There’s something deeply ironic about a judge seeking the right to ignore another judge’s ruling while crying ‘judicial activism.'” Justice Roy Moore of the Alabama Supreme Court wants judges to ignore a federal ruling on his state’s unconstitutional ban on gay marriage. [Reuters]

    * Just days after the legal news media found out that Dentons would be tying the knot with Dacheng, the deal has officially been sealed. Talk about a shotgun wedding! Best wishes go out to 大成 Dentons for a happy, international marriage. [Am Law Daily]

    * Elite litigation boutique Susman Godfrey will be consolidating its Dallas and Houston offices into one mega-office in 2016 after the firm’s lease in Dallas is up. Will all of the displaced attorneys remain with the firm? [Houston Business Journal]

    * Can we talk… about wrongful death cases? A lawsuit has finally been filed against the outpatient endoscopy facility and physicians involved in the death of Joan Rivers, and details have been released as to the way the beloved comedian died. [CNN]

    37 Comments / / Jan 28, 2015 at 8:55 AM
  • fashion catwalk

    Events, Fashion

    Join ATL In New York City For A Fabulous Fashion Law Forum

    RSVP to join us in New York City on February 5 to discuss the ins and outs of the fast-paced world of fashion law.

    / Jan 27, 2015 at 2:29 PM
  • depressed woman

    Law School Deans, Law Schools, Women's Issues

    Law School Dean Urges Students To Stop Making ‘Wildly Inappropriate’ Sexist Comments About Female Professor

    Why aren’t more law school deans willing to protect the women of this profession?

    96 Comments / / Jan 27, 2015 at 12:05 PM
  • cakepops

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.27.15

    * “She’s kind of like Eric Holder in a skirt.” Well then. No one else really seems to care about longtime prosecutor Loretta Lynch’s nomination for the position of replacement top dog at the Department of Justice, but hey, maybe that’s actually a good thing. [National Law Journal]

    * Yael Krigman, who left her job at White & Case to open up her own cakepoppery in Washington, D.C., doesn’t miss being a lawyer. In fact, these days, she says she uses her law degree “much more than [she] did as a practicing attorney.” [GW Hatchet]

    * It’s official: the justices of the U.S. Supreme Court had no shame in their game when they denied certiorari on a civil rights case involving shirtless Wade McCree. It’s too bad judges are immune from lawsuits like this. [Associated Press via Detroit News]

    * If you’re lucky enough to have power, then boy, Dewey have a wonderful longread for you to take a look at on this “historic” snow day. It turns out that this failed firm’s management painted a “rosy picture” to mask an “ugly truth.” [ABA Journal]

    * Should you submit a law school application with a crappy LSAT score without first telling the schools that there will be another, hopefully better LSAT score coming? Please. They’ll be thrilled you have a pulse. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

    15 Comments / / Jan 27, 2015 at 9:04 AM
  • yale law school

    Law Schools, Romance and Dating

    FYI, Your Mom REALLY Wants You To Date A Lawyer With A Prestigious Degree

    Has a relative ever pressured you into going on a date with someone just because they have an Ivy League law degree?

    48 Comments / / Jan 26, 2015 at 1:00 PM