In five minutes, at 10 AM Pacific time, the California Supreme Court will hand down its ruling on same-sex marriage. We will update this post -- and fill in the blank in the post's title -- once we have the substance of the ruling.

Update: The opinion is here (PDF -- and thanks, commenters, for the link and excerpts). Reversing the appeals court, the California Supreme Court struck down the state's statutory ban on same-sex marriage. Slip op. at 12:

Under these circumstances, we cannot find that retention of the traditional definition of marriage constitutes a compelling state interest. Accordingly, we conclude that to the extent the current California statutory provisions limit marriage to opposite-sex couples, these statutes are unconstitutional.

Slip op. at 120:

[T]he language of section 300 limiting the designation of marriage to a union "between a man and a woman" is unconstitutional and must be stricken from the statute, and... the remaining statutory language must be understood as making the designation of marriage available both to opposite-sex and same-sex couples.

Further Update: From the AP:

The California Supreme Court has overturned a gay marriage ban in a ruling that would make the nation's largest state the second one to allow gay and lesbian weddings. The justices' 4-3 decision Thursday says domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage. Chief Justice Ron George wrote the opinion....

The case before the court involved a series of lawsuits seeking to overturn a voter-approved law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. With the ruling, California could become the second state after Massachusetts where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

In re Marriage Cases [Supreme Court of California (PDF)]
California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban [AP]
Calif. same-sex marriage ban struck down [CNN]
Pre-Gaming the California Same-Sex Marriage Ruling [WSJ Law Blog]

Any story that gives us the chance to deploy our Lesbians category is a good thing. Here's the latest Lawsuit of the Day, from the AP:

A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women.

Three islanders from Lesbos - home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women - have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.

One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos," he said.

Leggo my... lesbo?

More lesbianic discussion, after the jump.

We mentioned this story in passing a few times. But we probably should have given it a more prominent place in these pages, since it involves one of our favorite legal celebrities: the high-powered Monica Goodling, who held top positions at the U.S. Department of Justice, and who came to prominence during the U.S. Attorney firing controversy.

Here's an update, from NPR:

The Justice Department's inspector general confirmed Tuesday that he is looking into whether a department lawyer was dismissed over a rumor that she is a lesbian.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Leslie A. Hagen was informed in 2006 that her contract working on Indian affairs in the Justice Department's Executive Office for U.S. Attorneys would not be renewed for a second year — despite receiving the highest possible performance reviews....

Glenn Fine of the Inspector General's Office and H. Marshall Jarrett of the Office of Professional Responsibility said they are looking into whether Hagen was "discriminated against in employment decisions on the basis of alleged sexual orientation or other improper factors."

Some claim that Hagen had "a Monica problem" -- i.e., that she was not in favor with the powerful Goodling, due to these sapphic whisperings.

Now, if the allegation were that Monica Goodling fired a DOJ lawyer because of a rumor that he might be gay, we'd dismiss it out of hand. In light of her overall fabulosity, as well as her status as "a survivor" -- someone who has successfully weathered serious political storms, while still looking poised, polished, and perfect -- Goodling will be hailed as an icon by future generations of gay male lawyers.

But this allegation involves a rumor that a lawyer was a lesbian. That's a whole different kettle of fish. So we'll wait and see what the DOJ probe reveals.

Justice Inquiry Centers on Dismissal, Gay Rumors [NPR]
Confirmed: DoJ Investigators Probing Whether Goodling Fired Lawyer Due to Gay Rumors [TPM Muckraker]

In Chicago, gay lawyers get to attend exclusive parties. In New York, they enjoy a finer prize: luxury real estate.

The law schools of Columbia and NYU have been battling over faculty superstars for several years. And now NYU is bringing out the heavy artillery: multimillion-dollar condo purchases. From the New York Times:

Columbia University, in a never-ending search for a larger campus, has long had an outpost for faculty housing at 455 Central Park West — 53 apartments in an 26-story tower attached to the French Renaissance chateau at West 106th Street.

So it was something of a surprise when a foundation associated with New York University bought a large condominium in the complex. The unit, which cost $5.2 million, is built into one of the huge turrets of the chateau.... The duplex apartment has a round living and dining room with 37-foot high ceilings and Central Park views, along with three more conventional bedrooms.

Sounds fabulous! Who gets to inhabit this fabulous pad?

Find out, after the jump.

Why was Cinderella stuck in the office doing document review, while her wicked stepsisters nibbled on caviar and danced the night away?

Maybe Cinderella worked at Kirkland & Ellis, and her sisters were of the Sapphic persuasion. From a K&E tipster:

The Chicago office of Kirkland & Ellis hosted a "GLBT only" party last night. The email invitation is below.

It's illegal under Illinois law to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation in the workplace. But they shouldn't be expected to know that as attorneys, should they?

Here's the invite:

The GLBT Subcommittee of the Firmwide Diversity Committee cordially invites All Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) Attorneys and Staff to a Winter Cocktail and Hors d’Ouevres Reception Today, Thursday, January 17, 2008 Sidebar Grille.

221 N. LaSalle
Chicago
5:00 P.M. — 7:00 P.M.

Truth be told, we aren't deeply troubled. Regardless of their technical status under the law, events for lawyers who share common interests happen all the time.

So lighten up, Mr. Tipster! You probably wouldn't have liked the music anyway -- or, for that matter, being ogled by those twinks from IT. And you definitely wouldn't have appreciated being hit upon by that bear from Duplicating.

As a certain ATL commenter might say, "Guys in my high school used to throw special gay parties all the time. They called it Drama Club. It was no big deal."

P.S. A more serious issue is presented by K&E's summer associate diversity fellowship, previously discussed by Professor David Bernstein over at the Volokh Conspiracy.

Diversity Fellowship Program [Kirkland & Ellis]
Illegal Fellowship at Kirkland & Ellis? [Volokh Conspiracy]

In an earlier post about the Kumari Fulbright situation at the University of Arizona law school, we noted that the UA administration has been fairly taciturn about the whole matter. Perhaps in response to the community's desire for more openness, Dean Toni Massaro just sent out an email discussing the matter.

It was forwarded to us by a tipster, who commented:

Can you believe this BS? It is a "welcome back" email from Dean Massaro at the University of Arizona Law School in which she "addresses" the Kumari Fulbright situation. But the Dean doesn't really "address" anything. The school in effect says nothing at all....

With a [student] (Craig Cordes) who allegedly killed a cop in New York, a "beauty" queen gone bad, and other issues, the school needs to step up and make an affirmative statement that not only addresses these issues directly, but also defends from ridicule the few capable students at the school that have BigLaw jobs.

AZWildcat2L

AZ Wildcat 2L, why are you being so hard on Dean Massaro? Longtime ATL readers may recall that she was nominated as one of America's hottest law school deans. One of her nominators wrote:

Not only is Dean Massaro brilliant, attractive, and self-assured, she's also a cancer survivor AND a lesbian. It's easy to make Advanced Con Law sexy, but how many Deans could get 3rd year students out of bed every morning for an 8 am class and have a packed classroom? Moreover, students just LOVE her Civil Procedure classes. I'm not kidding.

Check out the email from Dean Massaro, one southwestern hottie opining on another, after the jump.

Several readers drew our attention to this fascinating article from our local free weekly, the Washington City Paper:

Wanted: Gullible Lawyers
By Arin Greenwood

I was hired over e-mail. A boss I never met promised me $14,000 a month. How could I fall for that?

Two tipsters have done an especially good job teeing it up, so we'll just quote from their plugs:

"Have you read this? Very entertaining story about a lot of people who got scammed on craigslist, a sizable portion of which were lawyers. Most interesting is the author's take on what the goal of the scam was."

"This is so interesting! Even if you don't write about it (which you should: any story that includes a hapless and pathetic Columbia law grad, an Indian lesbian, Rupert Murdoch, and 15 lawyers embroiled in a scam de l'amour deserves the full treatment from ATL, no?), you just must read this! Delicious!"

We concur. It's a bit long, but a wild (and worthwhile) story. Check it out here.

Wanted: Gullible Lawyers [Washington City Paper]
the fake job.. turned into a real article [Arin Greenwood]

We hope there aren't too many of you in the office on this federal holiday, but for those ATL readers who are toiling away, here's a Labor Day edition of LEWW to ease the pain.

This Last week's superlative couples:

1.) Elizabeth Holland and David Franklin
2.) Lara Ballard and Gigi Sohn
3.) Allison Caldwell and Matthew Frisbee

More about these fabulous pairs, after the jump.

We were rightfully ribbed for having so few details in yesterday's post about the O'Melveny Mystery Man (hereinafter "Mystery"). Now we have more information about him, gleaned from multiple sources.

One source, who interacted with Mystery at lunches and over coffee, said that he "seemed very quiet." But maybe he acts differently in a party context (i.e., after he's had a few drinks). A second source, who spent time with Mystery on the notorious night of the firm retreat, described him as "obnoxious" and "a true frat guy."

As for the alleged conduct on the evening in question, here's what we've heard:

1. "[O]ne of the summer associates is a lesbian, but I don't think most of us knew until this weekend since she brought her girlfriend. Everyone was at the hospitality suite on Saturday night, and the summer kissed her girlfriend on the cheek. [Mystery] yells out, "Whoa, what was that?!" and makes a totally un-PC scene, [making] both girls uncomfortable."

2. "[O]ne of the first year associates had her fiance there, and he was drinking white wine. [Mystery] says: 'Why are you drinking white wine? Are you a fag?'

3. "[Mystery] kept doing the 'wink and point' thing at a 3rd or 4th year female associate, telling her that she would be his drinking buddy for the night. She was creeped out."

No, that's not all. More misconduct alleged, after the jump.

Of course we're not done with our series on the mishaps of summer associate. There's just too much material. If you have an anecdote to share, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.

Here's our latest X-Summer. The good news is that this story is current, from this summer (although we gladly take old stories too). The bad news is that many details are missing -- but maybe you can help us out with that.

1. Superhero name: O'Melveny & Mystery Man
2. Special power: Ability to spawn a hundred stories about the true reasons for his departure.
3. Summered: O'Melveny & Myers, summer 2007 (southern California).
4. Claim to fame: According to allegations in circulation:

[O]ne of our summers got fired... Apparently, while he was on the Newport retreat, he did something offensive, and no one knows what, exactly. The most likely story is that he said something homophobic to a lesbian partner, but it's all speculation.

The rumors have gotten out of control, though. Apparently this story has reached New York, and has blossomed into one about two summers: one allegedly groped an associate, and the other supposedly exposed himself to a bunch of attorneys. It's amazing. Legal gossip is a nationwide network.

Amen to that. Ain't the internets great?

More discussion, after the jump.

Even in these dark days, as an anxious nation awaits the latest dispatch from the associate salary wars, the wedding machine grinds on. We salute the brave couples who choose to go ahead with their ceremonies in the face of all this uncertainty -- after all, how crushing would it be to return from your honeymoon and find your employer on someone's List of Shame!

Honorable mention this week goes to this couple. (The father of the bride, William Barr, was once Attorney General under George H.W. Bush.) Unfortunately, those two did not make the cut. Here are the lucky lovebirds who did:

1. Michele Molfetta and Carolyn Wolpert

2. Eliza Harrington and Minor Myers III

3. Jennifer Merzon and Christopher Evans

More on this week's couples, after the jump.

Hampton Inn is the dumpy and unacceptable no frills, budget-oriented brand within the Hilton Hotel family. But compared to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, where Paris Hilton will be serving out a 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation, a Hampton Inn looks like the Waldorf Towers.

At this grim county jail, don't look for a mint on your pillow. Expect some pubic hair from a "very masculine lesbian[]," and you're less likely to be disappointed.

From the New York Daily News (which could barely conceal its glee over Hilton's upcoming jail stint):

Hilton will have to say "goodbye" to dye jobs and cosmetics and "hello" to five-minute showers once a day. Her friends and family will only be able to talk to her through glass and her phone calls will be made on the jail's closely monitored pay phones.

Purse-pooch, Tinkerbell, will not be allowed to visit. And forget those designer duds she bought on Rodeo Drive. In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week.

Eh, no big deal -- Paris prefers romping around in the buff anyway. And she won't be fazed by the loss of privacy, since all the other inmates have already seen her naked.

More discussion, after the jump.

We realize this news broke last week. But we were on vacation -- and it's just too good to omit from these pages. From Metro.co.uk:

A father in Arkansas is looking for $20,000 in compensation for his teenage sons, after they found a book in a public library called The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

According to Earl Adams, his sons – aged 14 and 16 – were 'greatly disturbed' by Felice Newman's classic lesbian sex manual, described by its publishers as 'the most comprehensive sex guide available for lesbians.'

And now he is demanding $10,000 from the city of Bentonville for each boy. The volume has already been withdrawn from the library shelves, and the director of the library has resigned – although she is adamant she left for personal reasons, not in response to the complaints.

So what's the basis for the $20,000 damages claim? Per Overlawyered:

[This incident] happened, Adams said, while [his sons] were browsing for material on military academies (titter ye not!). The shock to their sensibilities from exposure to the "immoral" volume resulted in the boys being "greatly disturbed" and undergoing "many sleepless nights in our house."

Simply ridiculous. Ask these boys in five years whether they still find lesbians "greatly disturb[ing]."

Also, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has been critically acclaimed. Check out this review:

Cure for cancer? End to world hunger? What's left to do after the publication of Felice Newman's definitive guide to lesbian sex? Drawing on a wide range of published sources as well as her own notoriously graphic questionnaire circulated by e-mail... Newman has compiled an exhaustively thorough how-to guide for practices as exotic as play piercings and as pedestrian as oral sex.

Umm, who describes oral sex as "pedestrian"? Sounds like mistakes are being made in this reviewer's household.

(Also, why are we not surprised that The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has been effusively praised on, of all websites, Amazon?)

Saw sex book by mistake; $10K apiece demanded [Overlawyered]
Man seeks compensation for lesbian trauma [Metro.co.uk]
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book [Amazon.com]

Time for a few updates on a subject near and dear to our heart, which we've been neglecting as of late: federal judicial nominations. Here's the latest news:

1. Texas state court judge Jennifer Elrod (at right), whom we previously identified as a possible nominee to the Fifth Circuit (and compared to Jennifer Aniston), has been officially nominated to that court. We've heard good things about Judge Elrod and wish her the best of luck in the confirmation process.

2. Connecticut state court judge Vanessa Bryant, discussed previously here, has been confirmed to the District of Connecticut.

3. Earlier this month, the White House sent a raft of judicial nominations over to the Senate. Nothing terribly exciting.

The two most controversial nominees in the bunch: state court judge Janet Neff (D. Mich.), and trial lawyer Richard Honaker (D. Wyo.). They may generate opposition on opposite sides of the aisle. Neff got a lot of grief from the conservative Sen. Sam Brownback for having attended a lesbian commitment ceremony. Honaker may be targeted by liberals for his record of strong opposition to abortion.

Here's a random bit of trivia about Honaker: he was a Harvard classmate of Al Franken. If Honaker runs into opposition from liberals (despite being a trial lawyer and card-carrying member of ATLA), will Franken testify in his defense before the Senate Judiciary Committee?

(The article also mentions Billy Crystal, but we don't believe Billy Crystal went to Harvard.)

Update: HA! The Billy Crystal mystery is revealed. Check out this comment.

Nomination Sent to the Senate [WhiteHouse.gov]
Nominations Confirmed [Senate.gov via How Appealing]
Nominations Sent to the Senate [WhiteHouse.gov]
Harris County civil judge nominated to federal bench [Houston Chronicle]
Bush renominates five Michiganians to federal judgeships [Detroit News]
Thomas announces judgeship nomination for Rock Springs lawyer [Casper Star-Tribune via How Appealing]

* May we recommend that the IRS get a myspace page? [TaxProf Blog]

* Quirkiness belies dysfunction: Woody Harrelson's father, convicted of murdering a federal judge, dies in prison. [AP via MSN]

* You may think people who buy hardbacks on an Oprah endorsement deserve their fate as victims of the great James Frey Swindle, but I have a heart. Losers, get your money back! [Gawker]

* I'm the kind of person who hates being hugged by non-friends without my permission, but this does seem a little inappropriate. [New York Daily News]

* News flash! No one remembers anything from the bar anyway. [PrawfsBlawg; Conglomerate]

We're obsessed with federal judges. And we're fascinated by lesbians (in a strange, quasi-sociological way). So of course we must weigh in on the whole Senator Sam Brownback/Judge Janet Neff controversy.

The uber-conservative Senator Brownback (R-KS), a likely standard-bearer for social conservatives in 2008, had been blocking Judge Neff's nomination to the federal bench -- currently she's a Michigan state-court judge -- because she once attended a same-sex commitment ceremony. For lesbians.

But earlier this week, Sen. Brownback announced that he would permit a vote on Janet Neff's nomination. We see this as good news.

Call us libertine (or libertarian), but Senator Brownback's original position was a bit much. We agree with Dan Markel's characterization of it as "asinine" and "obtuse." Regardless of your views on gay marriage, it seems unwarranted to hold up a judicial nomination because the nominee once went to a party. Back in 2002. For lesbians.

(And we'd add that Judge Neff is merely a District Court nominee. How much damage can she do there? If she issues an opinion holding that the U.S. Constitution guarantees lesbians the right to marry, she'll be reversed faster than you can say "power tools." And if Brownback is worried that she'd use her judicial authority to go around marrying Sapphists left and right, it's too late -- she's already a state court judge.)

Here's a little more background (and commentary):

Janet T. Neff -- the judicial nominee whose nomination to the federal bench is being delayed while Sen. Sam Brownback investigates what, exactly, she did at a lesbian couple's commitment ceremony -- says that she attended the event merely as a friend and did not act out of line. In a letter to Brownback that was quoted today by the AP, Neff wrote:

"The ceremony, which was entirely private, took place in Massachusetts, where I had no authority to act in any official capacity and where, in any event, the ceremony had no legal effect..."

"When Mary and her partner, Karen Adelman, asked me to participate in their commitment ceremony by delivering a homily, it was not different from being asked by my own daughters to be part of an important event in their lives."

And we think we speak for everyone when we say: BURN HER!!!!!! SHE'S A....COMMITMENT CEREMONY ATTENDEE?!?!?!?!

It's unclear what Brownback will do next to try and stop Neff's nomination. However, rumor has it he is currently in his lab testing hairs that he plucked from Neff's head to see if any of "the gay" happened to seep in through her scalp and penetrate her soul.

Even more dubious than Senator Brownback's original position was this idea:

Mr. Brownback... said he would also no longer press a proposed solution he offered on Dec. 8 that garnered even more criticism: that he would remove his block if Judge Neff agreed to recuse herself from all cases involving same-sex unions.

In an interview with the Times, Professor Charles Fried, the prominent conservative legal scholar, explained why this proposal would be problematic. For lesbians. And the judiciary, too.

But wait -- it's not over yet. Senator Brownback will allow a vote on Janet Neff, but he wants more hearings, so he can question her further about her participation in the lesbianic rituals. (Read: grandstand for Republican primary voters.)

We've rambled on long enough; now it's your turn. After all, YOU are Time's Person of the Year.

Please help out Senator Brownback. In the comments, please suggest questions for Brownback to propose to Judge Neff if supplemental hearings take place. Thanks.

Update: Some well-expressed views on this from Captain Ed (via Instapundit).

Brownback Wants to Re-Question Nominee [Associated Press via How Appealing]
Senator Removes His Block on Federal Court Nominee [New York Times]
This time of year, however, it's usually the free booze, Ecstasy, and mistletoe [PrawfsBlawg]
Yes, Ms. Neff, but when the women kissed -- did you look at them for a period extending three seconds? [Good As You]

No, we're not talking about that time on "The OC" when Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) shared a girl-on-girl kiss with Alex (Olivia Wilde). Rather, we're referring to a civil rights case currently pending before Judge James Selna, in the Central District of California.

From the L.A. Times (via How Appealing):

Two high schoolers are caught kissing on campus.

Ordinarily, such an incident would garner little attention. But for Charlene Nguon, a smattering of kisses and hugs stolen after school and in between classes led to detention, suspensions, a transfer and a lawsuit.

The reason? That's what a federal judge in Santa Ana will soon decide.

Nguon says it's because she was kissing a girl. Ben Wolf, who was then principal of Garden Grove's Santiago High School, says that's not the case at all. He insists the problem was that, regardless of whether it was a girl or boy, Nguon continued the kissing despite repeated warnings to knock it off.

And that's just the tip of this salaciously sapphic iceberg.

Check out the rest, after the jump.

Law firm recruiting season is winding down, but we remain interested in your job interview horror stories. To read prior stories, click here, then scroll down.

(Note: The "horror" in "interview horror stories" is loosely defined. Stories that are somewhat embarrassing or mildly amusing will suffice.)

Most of our interview horror stories involve interviewees saying or doing stupid things, during their Biglaw interview or at lunch. But sometimes it's the interviewers who are boneheaded.

This story has been making the rounds at East Coast law schools:

A young woman goes in for an on-campus interview with a large law firm. Her interviewer is an elderly partner at a very conservative, white-shoe kind of place.

The interview is going smoothly. But then the interviewer starts complaining about promising female associates who get married, have kids, and leave the firm.

Such comments are highly improper and/or illegal. There are a number of ways to deal with them, in appropriate yet subtle fashion. But our interviewee decides to tackle this problem head-on:

"You don't need to worry about that happening with me. I'm a lesbian."

The stuffy old partner is at a complete loss for words. He's probably never met a lesbian in his life.

There's a long, awkward pause. Finally, the partner breaks the silence:

"Have you thought about Paul Weiss?"

Illegal / Improper Job Interview Questions [Cornell Law School]
Top 10 Lesbian Cars for 2006 [About.com]

Earlier: Prior Interview Horror Stories (scroll down)