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The Possibly Propositioning Professor: Here’s the Incident Report

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As we first reported yesterday, Professor D. Marvin Jones, who teaches constitutional law and criminal procedure (!) at the University of Miami law school, has been arrested for solicitation of a prostitute. Here’s an interesting tidbit, from Blogonaut:

Professor Jones is the author of Race, Sex, and Suspicion: The Myth of the Black Male. Dare we predict a racially based defense? Or perhaps the good professor was merely researching a new book?

Some of you asked for more details about the alleged conduct. We’ve gotten on our hands on the incident report, which appears below. Note the tension between (1) Professor Jones’s pimpin’ ride, a Mercedes SL500, and (2) his alleged offer of a mere $20 to the “undercover officer possing [sic] as a prostitute.”

Law professors don’t make as much as Biglaw partners. But surely the driver of a Mercedes could be a little more generous!

Donald Marvin Jones 2 incident report Professor D Marvin Jones Above the Law blog.JPG

University of Miami Law Professor Arrested for Soliciting Prostitution [Blogonaut]
Race, Sex, and Suspicion: The Myth of the Black Male [Amazon]
D. Marvin Jones bio [University of Miami School of Law]

Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: D. Marvin Jones

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Fall Recruiting Snafu Watch: You Know They Really Don’t Want You When…

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rejected rejection letter Above the Law blog.jpgGetting rejected by a law firm and having lots of your classmates learn about it: embarrassing.
Getting rejected by a firm you didn’t even apply to: priceless.
I’m afraid I must reject your rejection [TJ's Double Play]
Earlier: Public Humiliation, Courtesy of Your Friends at Wilson Sonsini

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Biglaw Perk Watch: Secretaries / Administrative Assistants

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Secretary law firm Biglaw Maggie Gyllenhaal James Spader Above the Law blog.jpgDuring one of our darkest hours as a law firm associate, when we were at our most stressed and depressed, we tried to boost our morale by typing up a Word document entitled “Things I Like About My Job.” Here’s an excerpt:

– My Blackberry and (free) cell phone.

– My laptop.

– Really good health insurance.

– Having a secretary.

But in reality, we didn’t use our secretary very much. Her primary duty was to assist us in printing out correspondence so that the text of letters fell below the sprawling firm letterhead.
We didn’t know how to best utilize our secretary. And based on your emails, it seems we’re not alone:

“You should do a post on secretaries. I have no idea what to do with mine other than expense reports. I think junior associates would appreciate it!”

“How about an open thread on what attorneys have their secretaries do? A lot of us first-year associates starting now have no idea how to use them. This applies to both transactional lawyers and litigators.”

We’re guessing our correspondents don’t have this secretary.
Here are a few other topics to add to the mix:

“You really should do an ATL piece on secretaries. E.g., how many high-powered partners are run by their secretaries, with their secretaries as the gatekeepers; how many leading lawyers couldn’t live without their secretaries, taking them from one position to the next.”

So here’s an open thread for discussion of Biglaw secretaries / administrative assistants. Any secretaries who are reading this site should feel free to chime in too — we know you have a lot to say about your bosses. In fact, some of you could even fill a book with your gripes (see link below). Thanks.
The Diary of a Mad Legal Secretary [Amazon.com]

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Lawsuit of the Day: Cordero v. Epstein

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Our colleagues over at DealBreaker have been extensively covering one heck of a lawsuit. It’s our Lawsuit of the Day, but it really ought to be our Lawsuit of the Week — it’s that good.

The defendant is wealthy New York financier Jeffrey Epstein, who already stands accused, in Florida state court, of sex crimes involving underage girls. This latest case is a civil action filed in New York. Here’s a teaser:

[W]e’re knee-deep into the latest sex suit against Jeffrey Epstein, brought by a girl who, at the time, was whatever the opposite of over eighteen is. This one’s from Maximilia Cordero [at right], an aspiring model, who claims that in 2000, Epstein lured her to his Upper East Side apartment on the promise that “he and his wealthy friends would help…with her modeling career.”….

Epstein, in order to quell the girl’s fears as to what people would think of her blowing a man old enough to be her father, swore that he “wouldn’t tell anyone.” Bet he’s wishing he’d gotten her to do the same! Ah, well, hindsight.

Then he came in her mouth and requested that she return with her “14, 15, and 16 year old girlfriends next time.”

More — ’cause you know you want it — after the jump.

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Chapman and Cutler Blazes The Trail of Tiers

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Chapman Cutler LLP AboveTheLaw Above the Law blog.jpgWhat’s the hot new trend in Biglaw? Two-track systems for associates. They’re regarded as a sensible way for law firms to address the twin challenges of (1) higher associate salaries and (2) associate attrition (often due to a frustration with long hours).
Here’s word of the latest law firm to join the party, from NYLawyer.com (reg. req’d):

Chapman and Cutler, a Chicago-based firm with three offices and about 220 attorneys, has joined the parade of firms boosting first-year associate pay to $160,000, but the firm is taking a new path once associates reach their second year.

Second-year associates can opt for one of two compensation tracks at the firm under a new system that took effect last month, said Rick Cosgrove, who is chief executive partner at the firm. They can choose to work fewer hours at a lower pay level or more hours at a higher salary level, he said.

Cosgrove declined to specify the hours required and related pay rates under the new pay program for competitive reasons.

If you have info on the Chapman and Cutler scale that you’d be willing to share, please email us. According to a poster at Greedy Chicago:

The higher track is essentially Biglaw market, so long as you hit 2000 billables/year. The lower track is compressed to about $5k-$10k/year, depending on class year, and you need to hit 1850.

Other firms with two-track systems (click on each firm’s name for a memo and/or details): Hogan & Hartson, Wiley Rein, Fenwick & West, and Thelen (formerly Thelen Reid, and FYI, “Thelen” rhymes with “wheelin’”; see here).
Do you have an opinion about this two-tiered approach? If so, vote in our reader polls, after the jump.

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Job of the Week

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Here is the latest Job of the Week, courtesy of ATL’s career partner, Lateral Link. To refresh your recollection:

“Because Lateral Link does no cold-calling and is more efficient than traditional recruiting firms, successful candidates receive $10,000 upon placement.”

Position: M&A Associate (Media)
Description: This highly sought after media and advertising law firm is seeking a mid-level associate with a strong M&A background to work on media and advertising-related deals. Work primarily involves private transactions, but will have the occasional public transaction.
Founded over hundred years ago, this firm is renowned as the top marketing communications law firm in the world, representing four of the largest advertising agency holding companies. The firm is remarkable in the fact that it maintains worldwide leadership in a key field of law with only 100 attorneys, based in a single office in New York City. Having grown from less than 40 attorneys in the 1990s, the firm serves clients in a full range of practice areas, including corporate governance, litigation, M&A, employment practices and executive benefits and compensation, intellectual property, new media, real estate, taxation and estate planning. The firm also enjoys a sterling reputation among not only its major advertising and marketing communications clients, but among its attorneys as well. The firm has a one-to-one partner to associate ratio and is regarded as an unusually rewarding, reinforcing and humane place to work.
Position Requirements: Four to six years of experience. M&A background, top credentials, good personality.
To apply for this position, or to learn about other career opportunities, please visit laterallink.com.
Earlier: Prior Job of the Week listings (scroll down)

Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Couple of the Month for September

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Legal%20Eagle%20Wedding%20Watch%20NYT%20wedding%20announcements%20Above%20the%20Law.jpgWe’re long overdue to crown an ATL Legal Eagle Couple of the Month for September. Before the poll, we should mention that for once, our collective readership seemed to agree with us — last week’s Couple of the Week contest (we put the weekly pick to a vote, in a break from our normal practice) was a very, very close call. The aristocratic Team Boyd-Lockhart squeaked by the competition with 35.5 percent, but Team Schonmuller-Williams and Team Leung-Lin made strong showings with 33.9 percent and 30.6 percent, respectively. Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to all three couples for being so freaking awesome.
Now, on to September’s contest, which is basically Stanford versus Douglas Ginsburg. You can read all about the nominees, and cast your ballot, after the jump.

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Morning Docket: 10.18.07

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Michael Vick middle finger Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg* So how did Michael Mukasey do yesterday? Here’s a collection of some coverage. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]
* He totally should have mailed it to himself before faxing it to the Ravens. Also, not a joke, just a fact: the caption is over half of this 37-page opinion. [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit (PDF) via How Appealing]
* How many businesses was Vick opening? Yet another bank sues him over a business loan. [Fulton County Daily Report]
* Speaking of Vick getting sued, he got sued by a South Carolina inmate again, and it’s not Jonathan Lee Riches. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
* Can’t we all just agree that a little less process is due in this case? [CNN]
* SCOTUS stays Virginia execution. [CNN]

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America’s Next Top Model: A University of Miami 1L?

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We just finished watching America’s Next Top Model. So it’s quite appropriate for us to pass along this modeling montage video, which is amusingly bizarre. From a tipster:

I hate to pile it on, but you have to check out this YouTube clip of a University of Miami 1L. It’s a seven-minute clip of various glamour shots, set to the soothing sounds of flamenco guitar. I think my favorite photos involve her posing with a samurai sword.

We agree; nothing beats a samurai sword paired with fishnets. But the pics of her in a midriff-baring schoolgirl outfit, replete with pigtails, are also pretty great. As is the photo of her humping a white banister, which kicks off the whole thing.
You don’t need to watch the entire video, since the shots start to repeat after a while, but stick around at least until “Hotel California.” Enjoy!
Update (12:15 AM): Sigh. If you click on the video below, you’ll see that it has been pulled. We seem to have the anti-Midas touch when it comes to law school videos: everything we link to gets yanked. See, e.g., here (Harvard) and here (Columbia).

A little bit more, after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.17.07

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toilet bowl pink toilet Above the Law blog.jpg* It’s hard to believe this car was parked in Brooklyn, of all places. [Althouse]
* The law school hiring process privileges glibness — and is that a bad thing? Law professors are hired (1) to train lawyers, of all people, and (2) to write articles that sound like they’re saying a lot, even when they’re not. Glibness would seem to be a BFOQ. [PrawfsBlawg]
* Once our Surgeon General starts getting on our case about drinking, it’s time to leave the country. But don’t move to the U.K. [Charon QC: The Blawg]
* Speaking of emigration, Tonga says: “Give us your tired, your poor, your disgraced and disbarred lawyers, yearning to breathe free.” [Blogonaut]
* Good news, Pennsylvanians. According to Professor Orin Kerr, “you can scream at your overflowing john all you want without violating the state’s disorderly conduct offense.” [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Martindale-Hubbell ratings: Pay to play? We find them less useful than they might otherwise be because so many lawyers aren’t rated. Will charging a fee for inclusion exacerbate the problem? [Real Lawyers Have Blogs; HireTrade Blog]
* Thoughts on the Eighth Circuit fantasy baseball ruling (mentioned in Morning Docket), from Professor Neil Richards. [Concurring Opinions]
* Dionne Warwick is a tax deadbeat? Say it ain’t so! [TaxProf Blog]
* Have a favorite New York blawg / blawger? Vote for them here. [Sui Generis]

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Nationwide Layoff Watch: Are the K&E ‘Layoffs’ in the Eye of the Beholder?

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Kirkland Ellis LLP logo layoff laid off Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGThere seems to be a lot of hostility towards our coverage of layoff rumors. That’s fine — go ahead, shoot the messenger. But don’t say that we didn’t warn you. It would be irresponsible to write about “NY to 190″ rumors while ignoring similarly reliable (or unreliable) layoff rumors.
Also, rumors — even when untrue — can be revealing. The very existence of a rumor reflects the state of the market and sheds light on the psyches of the participants. The fact that pay raise gossip has been supplanted by layoff gossip is telling.
We received many interesting responses to our recent post about layoff rumors at Kirkland & Ellis. Like this one, from someone at K&E (and not one of The Departed, so without an ax to grind):

Surprised it took you so long to pick up the layoff rumors, though I guess K&E has done a reasonably good job of keeping them quiet, even to its own associates.

(1) Associate reviews were just completed.

(2) 6-8 mid-level associates [in Chicago] have recently and abruptly left the firm. Rumor is that they were canned. I know two of them personally, and neither of them had ever indicated a desire to leave.

(3) As for causes, I initially heard that extraordinarily low hours were to blame. Other sources suggest that performance was an issue.

(4) At least one of the layoffs really has people baffled: good hard worker who appeared to put in reasonable hours…. [T]he response in the Chicago office appears to be a bit bewildered, especially with respect to the one associate who seemed to be very well-regarded.

More information, compiled from multiple Kirkland sources in different offices, appears after the jump.

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Renaming Boalt Hall: Please Cast Your Vote

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Boalt Hall UC Berkeley Law School Above the Law blog.jpgAs we mentioned last week, U.C. Berkeley’s Boalt Hall School of Law hired a brand consulting firm to come up with a new name for the school. The effort ended somewhat anticlimactically. Boalt paid $25,000 to Marshall Strategy Inc., which came up with this brilliant new moniker: “UC Berkeley School of Law.”
Oh well. But since we already took the time to read through hundreds of suggested new names for Boalt Hall, we’re going to conduct this reader poll anyway.
Cast your vote, after the jump.

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