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The Horror, The Horror: Hottest Law School Dean Seen Wearing a Sweatshirt!

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We’re not huge fans of this photo of Dean Evan Caminker of the University of Michigan Law School, posted at the WSJ Law Blog:
Evan Caminker sweatshirt Above the Law Evan H Caminker.jpg
First, we don’t think it’s the most flattering picture of Dean Caminker. Compare it to the ones collected here (contestant #1). Based on the photo above, you wouldn’t guess that Dean Caminker won our contest for America’s Hottest Law School Dean.
Second, Dean Caminker is wearing a sweatshirt. In sartorial terms, this is a capital crime. If not for the fact that he was forced to wear the sweatshirt, having lost a football bet with Dean Nancy Rogers of Ohio State, we would strip Dean Caminker of his hottie title.
Finally, a bitchy postscript. We have problems with this paragraph from the Law Blog post:

You can call Michigan’s Dean Caminker lots of things: a Yale Law grad, a Supreme Court clerk (Brennan), a Wilmer Cutler alum, a constitutional law scholar. Just don’t call him a welcher!

How can any responsible journalist leave out “America’s Hottest Law School Dean” from this list of titles? It’s a glaring omission (which a Law Blog commenter had to point out). C’mon, Peter, get with the program!
(Would a reference to our hotties contest be deemed too “lowbrow” for the WSJ Law Blog? We doubt it. After all, it’s the blog where we first read about the Emily Pataki bar failure email.)
Ohio State v. Michigan: Dean Caminker Honors the Bet! [WSJ Law Blog]
Law School Dean Hotties: The Winners!!! [Above the Law]
Law School Dean Hotties: Comment from Dean Caminker [Above the Law]

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Wesley Snipes Is Still Looking for the Real Tax Cheat (in Namibia)

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wesley snipes above the law above the law atl atl.GIFAh, Wesley Snipes. Not only is he an alleged tax cheat, as well as a possible fugitive from justice; he’s also practically illiterate a rather poor writer.
In an email to Scott Maxwell, a writer for the Orlando Sentinel (huh?), Snipes wrote:

Hi Scott, guess you can imagine I’ve been a little busy. Wow this is so crazy . . . Scott this was almost (10) ten years ago. Why are they coming with this issue now? Were the statutes of limitation running out or what? We thought all issues had been resolved. Guess not, huh? Like the situation in New York, and Florida, I know this has more to do with a few individuals with access to power, making moves (trying to move up!) and less with some alleged crime against the whole population of the United States of America. This reminds me of Rape cases where the “victim” is flipped, turned or converted into the role of victimizer, the “architect conspirator.” It appears I’m to be the scapegoat, because there’s more public interest in “celebrities gone bad” than “rich people being taken advantage of.”

Why does Snipes think he’s being victimized? He thinks his race may have something to do with it: “Being, a black male who asks questions doesn’t help the situation either.”
An elaborate government conspiracy, directed against an African-American male celebrity? We’re getting a feeling of deja vu.
But don’t expect Snipes to write a “hypothetical” memoir titled “If I Did It.” Tax fraud isn’t quite as sexy as double homicide.
Snipes says he’s ‘scapegoat’ in tax-fraud case [Orlando Sentinel]
Actor Wesley Snipes Claims He’s “Scapegoat” in Tax Fraud Prosecution [TaxProf Blog]

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From the Belly of the Beast: Eating Judicial Independence for Lunch

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One highlight of this year’s Federalist Society National Lawyers Convention was the annual convention luncheon, held on Saturday, November 17. During the luncheon, a panel of distinguished judges addressed the very hot topic of judicial independence. The panelists:

Judge Carlos T. Bea (Ninth Circuit),
Chief Judge Danny J. Boggs (Sixth Circuit)
Judge Timothy B. Dyk (Federal Circuit)
Judge Patricia M. Wald (D.C. Circuit) (retired)
Chief Judge Dennis G. Jacobs (Second Circuit) (moderator)

A quick recap of the discussion, after the jump.

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Sorry, Folks — You’ll Have To Settle for That Video of Britney Belching

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britney spears britney_spears naked nude breasts above the law atl britney spears topless.JPG

After details of Britney Spears’s “airtight” prenuptial agreement were disclosed, revealing that her soon-to-be ex-husband, Kevin Federline, wouldn’t get much in the divorce, we began hearing this rumor:

Fed-Ex will be a hero to stragglers everywhere, moreso even than Kato, in his leveraging: [Britney] made an air-tight prenup; he made a videotape of his adventures into what had been allegedly air-tight territory during their honeymoon. Internet P0rn distributor’s offer: $40M. Somehow I think that she is going to cough up more than that to prevent a Paris H. repeat…

But despite any spam you may have received recently touting the “Britney Sex Tape,” it seems that America’s most valuable home video is just an urban legend. From Reuters:

There is no “sex tape” involving pop star Britney Spears and estranged husband Kevin Federline, his lawyer said on Tuesday.

After Spears filed for divorce from the fledgling rapper this month, reports surfaced in the tabloid press that Federline had in his possession a videotape of the couple having sex and was considering making it public.

“There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence,” said Federline’s divorce lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. Representatives for Spears had no immediate comment.

K-Fed really IS screwed — and all because Britney wasn’t.
(At least not on camera. Unless this publicist’s nightmare counts).
There is no Britney sex tape, Federline’s lawyer says [Reuters]
Britney Spears “STONED” acting strange UNCUT VERSION [YouTube]

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How To Get a Cute Girl To Sit in Your Lap

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Become the Chief Justice of the United States!
John Marshall statute lap.JPG
(Query: Where were the Supreme Court police officers when this fun photo was taken?)

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Impoverished Romanian Village Gets Trial Lawyers Before Running Water, Electricity

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Borat Above the Law Legal Blog Law Gossip Borat.JPGThe Borat litigation juggernaut rolls on. And Fox, the studio behind the hit movie, is fighting back:

Fox attorneys filed a legal brief Monday slamming a request for a preliminary injunction against the hit comedy “Borat” as a “fatuous” attempt to thwart free speech, even as the studio’s legal battle spread to a second front.

“Plaintiffs may claim that they were tricked ‘into making fools out of themselves’ and becoming ‘unsuspecting players’ in the movie ‘Borat,’ ” the studio said in opposing the request. “They never contend … that bigoted and misogynistic statements were put into their mouths.”

The plaintiffs are the two fraternity brothers who are suing the studio for depicting them as bigots and misogynists — after they made, on camera, bigoted and misogynistic statements.
The frat boys may not be terribly sympathetic plaintiffs. But they’re not the only ones suing over Borat:

[A]ttorneys representing a pair of villagers in Glod, Romania, filed a $30 million lawsuit over their roles in “Borat.”

Filed in U.S. District Court in New York, the suit seeks to stop distribution of the film until scenes showing plaintiffs Nicolae Todorache and Spiridom Ciorebea are removed.

It didn’t take long for plaintiffs’ lawyers to discover Bhopal. What took them so long to find Glod?
Fox Fires Back at “Borat” Suit [Hollywood Reporter]
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Borat (scroll down)

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Morning Docket: 11.21.06

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* Third Marine pleads guilty in Iraq civilian murder case. [Jurist]
* Villaraigosa says L.A.’s not going out like that. [CNN]
* Ah, the old disaster-victim-flip-this-house ploy; works every time. [AP via Online Athens]
* Man, talk about putting the victim on trial. [AP via Yahoo!]

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The Jiwani Ad: Hot or Rot?

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Controversy has erupted up in Boston over whether it was appropriate for the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly to run this racy advertisement, for Jiwani, a maker of custom-tailored suits:
Jiwani ad Jiwani advertisement Above the Law.JPG
Advertisements like this are a dime a dozen in Details and GQ. But in the more staid pages of a legal news publication, it drew a slew of negative reader responses. E.g., “Highly insulting,” “Puerile, tasteless, and offensive,” and “Wrong on so many levels.”
What do you think? We’re curious. Time for an ATL reader poll:

Make Free Online Polls

Update: This poll is now closed; you can view the results here.
Many Fume Over Hot Ad in Lawyers Newspaper [Boston Globe via How Appealing]

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.21.06

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Civil War Above the Law.jpg* Woo-hoo!!! Good news for online rumor-mongerers like ourselves. [Volokh Conspiracy; Instapundit]
* And a bit of bad news, too. [Concurring Opinions]
* We weren’t the only ones who had fun at Federalistapalooza. [Southern Appeal]
* “Conservative civil war”: Not just at the Federalist Society. [Andrew Sullivan; Instapundit; Ryan Sager]
* When the subject of gay marriage comes up, social conservatives bring out a parade of horribles — including polygamy. Now Ann Althouse wonders: Is it really so horrible? [Althouse]
* While we’re linking to contrarian thinking, here’s a different take on L’Affaire OJ.: “Rupert Murdoch’s relevant anatomy shrunk to the size of two shriveled peas.” [Crime & Federalism]
* Some food for thought: “If the [anti-burqa] legislation is enacted, a Dutch woman could marry her lesbian partner, spend her life smoking a little hashish now and then — and when the time comes, get a doctor’s assistance in pulling the plug — all well within Dutch law. But she couldn’t ride the subway with a veil over her face. What an odd country.” [PrawfsBlawg]
* Actually, Will, we think this is really cool. Who wants to tour Civil War battlefields when you can visit these instead? [Crescat Sententia]

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An ATL Public Service Announcement: ‘The Wages of Sin Is Death!’ (Romans 6:23)

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Fed Soc 26.JPG

Apperances can be deceiving. The smiling woman above looks like a sweet old lady (or perhaps she’s middle-aged).

But don’t be fooled. This pleasant-looking woman opened a can of whoop-ass at the final panel discussion of the Federalist Society National Lawyers Convention. She rained hellfire and brimstone upon the audience, and placed at least two of the panelists on an express train to Hell.

As we mentioned earlier, that last panel “discussion” was insane. It was a no-holds-barred fight between the Federalist Society’s two major constituencies: the social conservatives and the libertarians. It was a smart move to save this intra-societal slugfest until the end of the weekend.
The nominal title of the panel: “The Role of Government in Defining Our Culture.” A more appropriate title for the panel: “Watch Libertarians and Social Conservatives Rant at Each Other About Gay Marriage.”

The combatants participants:

Moderator cum lion tamer: Hon. Edwin Meese III, former Attorney General
For the libertarians: Dr. Charles Murray, AEI; Mr. Anthony Romero, ACLU
For the social conservatives: Mrs. Phyllis Schlafly, Eagle Forum; Professor Hadley Arkes, Amherst College
Kinda in between: Professor William Eskridge, Yale Law School
Kinda irrelevant: Hon. Walter Dellinger, currently of O’Melveny & Myers and Duke Law School (and former acting Solicitor General)
A blow-by-blow account of this intellectual battle royal, after the jump.

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In Las Vegas Parks, Feed the Pigeons, Not the Bloggers

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homeless Above the Law.jpgAt right: Homeless — or just fashion-impaired?
Back in April, in Jones v. City of Los Angeles (PDF), the Ninth Circuit ruled that “a City of Los Angeles ordinance that criminalizes sitting, lying, or sleeping on public streets and sidewalks” violated the Eighth Amendment (specifically, its prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment). The ruling struck some as a bit dubious. E.g., Howard Bashman, Orin Kerr.
We’re a bit more sympathetic, however, to this recent ruling by a federal judge in Las Vegas:

A federal judge on Monday rejected the city’s ban on feeding poor or homeless people in city parks. Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman had argued that handouts discourage homeless people from seeking help from social service providers set up to handle mental health and substance abuse problems….

But U.S. District Court Judge Robert Jones issued an injunction prohibiting enforcement of the ordinance, passed in July, and told lawyers for the city and the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada that he intends to issue an order killing the measure.

The ordinance in question prohibits “the providing of food or meals to the indigent for free or for a nominal fee.” It defines an “indigent person” as “a person whom a reasonable ordinary person would believe to be entitled to apply for or receive” public assistance.
We haven’t researched the issue. But the claim that this ordinance is unconstitutionally vague seems within the realm of possibility.
The ordinance turns on whether the person being fed “looks” homeless. And under this standard, taking law professors out for a picnic, or buying your blogger friend a hot dog, could get you arrested. That can’t be right!
(As the Supreme Court has held, any law that is bad and/or stupid is unconstitutional.)
Judge Nixes Las Vegas Homeless Food Ban [Associated Press]
Las Vegas Makes It Illegal to Feed Homeless in Parks [New York Times]
Arresting the Homeless Is Unconstitutional? Where the 9th Circuit Went Wrong [Law.com]

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Benchslapped: Judge Posner Gets Medieval on the IRS

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Richard Posner Richard A Posner Above the Law Legal Blog.jpgFew things make us happier than when judges administer benchslaps to either colleagues or litigants. When the judicial power of the United States is deployed to diss, the result is fun for the whole family.
Heck, bench-slaps can even make tax law enjoyable! If you doubt this proposition, check out Judge Posner’s recent opinion in Kohler Co. v. United States (PDF).
Here are a few excerpts. We’ve pulled them out of context, and we won’t bother to get into the complex facts of the case; but the benchslappery is still evident:

“How to choose between adversaries’ valuations when both are manifestly erroneous?”

“[The IRS's effort] to prove that the pesos were indeed worth $19.5 million fell pathetically short of the mark….”

“[C]linging stubbornly to its untenable valuation, [the IRS] suggested no alternative to $19.5 million. It played all or nothing, lost all, so gets nothing.”

Way harsh — but at the same time, direct and matter-of-fact. The straightforward nature of Posnerian benchslaps is what makes them so elegant, effortless, and enjoyable.
This latest benchslap from Judge Posner calls to mind our prior observations about his writing style:

The Posnerian prose style is wonderfully dry, and Judge Posner’s amazing writerly feat is his generation of delight from desiccation. The Giant Hedgehog doesn’t laugh at his own jokes, which just makes them funnier. And when he cuts you down, with a clean slice of his linguistic lightsaber, his face bears no expression. It’s all done with a clinical elegance; disdain is a dish best served cold. Magnificent!

With most judges, you can see the benchslap coming a mile away. They take forever to wind up that slapping arm, and when they make contact with their target, you can hear the “whack” for miles. With Judge Posner, in contrast, you’re benchslapped before you even REALIZE you’ve been benchslapped.
This makes perfect sense. Why? Judge Posner’s hand is too good for your face. And the national treasure known as the Posnerian Brain shouldn’t be wasted on benchslappery, since it really could be put to more productive use.
Like having electrodes hooked up to it, so we can finally end America’s dependence upon foreign oil.
Kohler Co. v. United States [Seventh Circuit (PDF) via How Appealing]
Posner Slams IRS’s “Pathetic” Position in Mexican Debt-Equity Swap Case [TaxProf Blog]
The Hilarious Hedgehog: Judge Richard Posner [Underneath Their Robes]

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