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Not Hiring sign.jpg[Ed. note: Once again, we apologize for our technical difficulties.]

As everybody is starting to realize, fall recruiting is not going as well as it has in the past. In Part I of our recruiting roundup, we told you which markets are making it tough on summer associate applicants. Today, we’ll talk about law schools.

If you had to pick one clear loser during this year’s recruitment process, it would have to be Harvard Law School:

Basically, life is not particularly good for Harvard 2Ls these days: 1) OCI Call Backs have all been doled out to other (earlier) schools’ students; and 2) the H-P-LP-F system leaves current Harvard 2L’s at a disadvantage (in terms of misery) to their younger classmates.

Difficulty + Harvard = Open mockery from everyone else:

Dear Harvard students,

We had earlier OCI programs and took your jobs. Sorry.

Sincerely,

State school students with multiple v5 and v10 callbacks

Interviews didn’t start at HLS until September 18th, and it’s pretty clear that the late start has hurt applicants. Remember how differently the economy looked just one month ago. On September 12th (before Lehman was thrown down with the sodomites), the Dow closed at 11,421. By September 17th, the Dow was down to 10,609. And right now you need an electron microscope to read the DJIA (9,220 as of 12:30 EDT).

Update: DJIA closed at 8,579 today.

Tomorrow is the last day for HLS OCI. It’s a bad time to have bad timing.

HLS’s response and stories from other schools, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fall Recruiting Follow-Up: Part II”

Jeremy Anderson.jpgWhere do lawyers turned reality TV contestants go? After their television careers, they take different paths.

Some return to their law firms. E.g., Charlie Herschel (Survivor / Weil Gotshal); Denise Gitsham (The Bachelor / K&L Gates); and Stacy Rotner (The Apprentice / Sidley). Some stay in the world of entertainment. E.g., David Otunga (engaged to Oscar-winning songstress Jennifer Hudson); Yul Kwon (Survivor winner, who then worked for CNN as a special correspondent).

And some have ups and downs. Remember Jeremy Anderson, the hottie from Hunton & Williams who competed for DeAnna Pappas’s hand on the latest season of The Bachelorette? Shortly after the show ended, his life wasn’t so glamorous. From a Texas tipster:

Jeremy, the runner-up from the Bachelorette, is working as a contract attorney upstairs at my firm [McKool Smith in Dallas]. Looks like Hunton Williams didn’t invite him back to the firm after the show ended. I heard about it because a bunch of the secretaries were going to the doc review floor to go check him out. I personally wasn’t about to make my way up there to stare at the guy.

Other indignities inflicted upon poor Jeremy (from a different reader, in mid-September):

I was at lunch today at Jason’s Deli in downtown Dallas with all of the other downtown workers. Well, all of a sudden, a familiar face walked in for a take-out order: Jeremy from the Bachelorette. My, how the mighty have fallen. From national TV to getting his own lunch.

And that wasn’t the end of it. Get this: Jeremy Anderson has been doing catalog modeling for JCPenney. And not just regular JC Penney, but the JC Penney outlet store.

(No joke — we have photographic proof. The photos show that Jeremy, whose magnificent shirtless torso was featured prominently on The Bachelorette, has gained weight since leaving the show.)

But our hero’s tale has a happy ending. Read more, and check out the pictures — including the J.C. Penney catalog images — after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Where Is He Now? An Update on Jeremy Anderson, Lawyer Turned Bachelorette Contestant”

Weil.gifBloomberg News is reporting that the train wreck formerly known as Lehman Brothers filed an application to pay Weil Gotshal attorneys a whole boatload of cash:

The investment bank asked for court approval to pay $650 to $950 an hour for partners and counsel, $355 to $595 for associates and $155 to $295 for paraprofessionals.

A year ago, the WSJ Law Blog did a report on the Thousand-Dollar Bar. There were only six lawyers on that list. So while $950 an hour isn’t astronomical, it’s clear that Lehman is getting the most expensive bankruptcy money can buy.

At the upper end, $595 per associate hour is pretty good money as well.

Whenever we mention that Weil could be a bonus leader this season a smart commenter always disagrees:

Weil will never be a bonus leader because there is concern at the firm that it would seem unsightly by the firm’s bankruptcy clients to lead the market with bonuses

Good point. Still, there is a lot of money floating around Weil these days. Are you sure that they won’t trickle cash rewards down on associates?

We’ll wait and see.

Weil May Get $950 an Hour for Lehman Bankruptcy Work (Update1) [Bloomberg]

The Law Blog Thousand-Dollar Bar [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: Weil Gotshal Produces The Mother Of All “We’re Awesome” Emails


Heller Ehrman LLP Above the Law blog.JPGWhen Heller Ehrman dissolved in late September, associates and employees were informed via a firm-wide email.

Since then, Heller management has had email communication with employees, but (to our knowledge) they have not revealed their official dissolution plan.

We got our hands on the 43-page operating document. In addition to a detailed discussion of the firm’s balance sheet, the plan lists the firm’s priorities during the dissolution. One priority is to preserve and protect the firm’s assets “for the benefit of, first, the creditors, … and thereafter the Shareholders of the firm and the former Shareholders of the firm.”

The full dissolution plan can be downloaded below. Check it out and see what interesting nuggets you find.

Plan of Dissolution.pdf (PDF)

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Heller Ehrman’s Dissolution

lonely lawyer wants a job.JPGWe’ve discussed the terrible market for 3Ls, but one D.C.-area law student is taking matters into her own hands. From the source of all that is wonderful, the Craigslist personals:

Are you a lonely lawyer? – 24

Maybe we can do something about that. I’m an ambitious 3L at a good school, and I’d really like to land a job at a terrific firm. Unfortunately, my grades and the job market aren’t the best. Ideally, I would like to meet a cute hiring partner for “networking.” I’m sexy, petite, and very fun to be with. If you’re interested, please tell me a bit about yourself. I’d be happy to exchange pics.

Why are you looking to score a lawyer-man on craigslist? ATL would be happy to post your pictures. And we know that hiring partners and recruiting coordinators read the site regularly.

Still, we admire your willingness to do “what it takes” to secure a job in this difficult market. Sexy, petite, networking is actually great training for your eventual life as a Biglaw associate.

Out of work 3Ls take note: there is always more than one way to get a job.

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of job searches

harris beach logo.JPGMany people have interviewing horror stories. But few people actually bother to send a letter to the offending firm.

One Georgetown University Law Center student did just that. After her interview with Harris Beach, the student sent a letter to James Spitz, CEO of Harris Beach:

I was looking forward to the interview until Mr. Frederick Fern and Ms. Judi Abbott Curry entered the conference room. This was the worst and most unprofessional interview that I have ever been on. Not only did Mr. Fern insult me by repeatedly stating that “the only reason” I had received the interview was because my “mom or somebody” had “called in a favor,” he then suggested that I was lazy because I did not have a job yet. “What have you been doing since July?” he kept exclaiming.

I didn’t even know how to respond. When I finally responded, he proceeded to read a document or tap on the table with his pen while I spoke. It was awful.

Harris Beach’s firm motto is “Lawyers you’ll swear by, not at.” It is worth noting that our own personal experiences with Harris Beach attorneys have been positive and professional. But perhaps these particular attorneys could have used a little more tact when dealing with a student trying to navigate these uncertain employment waters.

The full memo after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyers You’ll Swear At, Not Work For”

whale.jpg[Ed. Note: We apologize for the late start to the day. Obviously, we were suffering from some technical difficulties. However the "blackout" conditions gave us an opportunity to reflect on the strength and support of our readers. We appreciate all of the support and encourage you to keep pushing us to stay on top of our game. To the readers, commenters, and even the haters: thank you. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.]

* Swing states may have violated federal law in their purging of the eligible voter rolls. Advantage: Obama. [New York Times]

* A whale of a case for the Supreme Court. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* Cases on abortion are no less contentious in Europe. The European Court of Human Rights may take on Ireland’s abortion laws. Or it may not. [Wall Street Journal (subscription)]

* The bigamy-loving Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints — not to be confused with the non-fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (i.e., Mormons) — claims the attorneys general of Utah and Arizona are trying to “destroy” it. [Courthouse News Service]

* Judge throws out key prosecution evidence in the corruption trial of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. [Politico]

* Summer associates say, “Less lavish lunches! More meaningful work!” And they heart Crowell and Moring. [American Lawyer]

Update: The blurb for the fourth item, from the Courthouse News Service, has been amended to clarify the difference between the two churches. We apologize for any confusion.

If you are looking for a good reason for Stanford and Harvard to stay away from a modified pass/fail grading system like they have at Berkeley and Yale, here you go:

Yes, you are seeing that video correctly. That there was a self-styled Boalt student rapping the Rules of Civil Procedure, replete with dance interludes.

I don’t know if this will help you pass Civ Pro, but it might help you become the Court Clerk for the Miami-Dade County.

Earlier: A Rapping Clerk of Court? Meet Harvey Ruvin

bratislava casTTTle.jpg* Nebraska, Arizona, and Arizona State law schools have been accused of discriminating against white applicants, as do many white women at those schools. [TaxProf Blog]

* If you still need a job, we suggest taking all the interview help you can get. [Lateral Link]

* A firm offering the “best representation on Earth” apparently wishes most Earthlings would just go away. [Legal Blog Watch]

* I encourage all rejected 2Ls to do this. Don’t send it, just type it out. By the time you’re done, you’ll feel right as rain. [Ridiculum]

* Linklaters is closing its Bratislava office. [WSJ Law Blog]

Heller Ehrman LLP Above the Law blog.JPGIf any Heller Ehrman attorneys were hoping that a major firm would sweep in and hire a whole bunch of Hellerites, the Dissolution Committee is warning you not to hold your breath. The Recorder reports:

On Tuesday, Peter Benvenutti, the chairman of the dissolution committee now controlling the firm, confirmed whispers that Baker & McKenzie and Winston & Strawn, both one-time merger candidates, had withdrawn proposals to pick up large groups of lawyers and their expensive real estate. While Benvenutti would not say whether deals on this scale are being discussed with any other firms, he did say there’s interest in taking over certain of the firm’s leases, and “we expect to have clarity in a day or two.”

At this point, why would Baker or Winston Strawn take on expensive lawyers when they can just sit back and cherry pick the superstars they want? We haven’t heard any story of a Heller rainmaker saying “If I come, these 30 people are coming with me.”

More bad news after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Anatomy Of A Dissolution: Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?”

blonde sues for hair color.JPGCharlotte Feeney sued L’Oreal Inc. because she accidentally dyed her hair dark-brown instead of blonde. She claims that L’Oreal mislabeled the box of hair-dye, while L’Oreal presumably used the “she’s an idiot” defense.

Freeney claimed to have suffered real damages. She said that being a brunette ruined her social life:

She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.

It’s unclear what color the rug is, but Freeney claims the dark dye did irreparable damage to her curtains. She says that she can never go back to being a blonde again and now has to take anti-depressants.

We suggest that Freeney lay off the zoloft and open herself to the wonderful life of being a brunette. Armed with her new hair color — and nights and weekends uncluttered with the pressure of companionship or sex — Freeney can do all sorts of things. She will no longer be hated by other women, and she can begin the hard work of learning how to read confusing box labels at the local Duane Reade.

A Connecticut judge dismissed Freeney’s lawsuit, he said:

The plaintiff submitted no facts, no opinions and no standards to substantiate either of the allegations.

Should she decide to appeal, she might want to add the need for “facts and opinions” as further evidence of suffering because of her follicle deformity.

Freeney’s lawyer, David Laudano, said that he hadn’t even read the judge’s decision. Via internal monologue, Laudano added “Jeez. I wish this average looking woman would stop pestering me about her ‘cases’ and ‘options.’ I’m so bored. I want to work with new and exciting clients.”

Ha ha ha ha … oh hi Charlotte. Sure you look great. No, I’m not ignoring you. Hey, what are you doing with my pet rabbit? Stop. STOP OH DEAR GOD STOP!!!

Blonde sues over brown dye; judge brushes off suit [Washington Post]

Woman sues over wrong hair color [Connecticut Post]

Seinfeld.jpgJerry Seinfeld is stuck in a bit of a legal mess (and it’s not the first time). He and his wife have been sued by cookbook author Missy Chase Lapine, who claims that Jessica Seinfeld plagiarized her recipes for the best-selling Deceptively Delicious Cookbook. Deceptive, indeed.

Then Jerry went on David Letterman and made jokes about Ms. Lapine, comparing her “to ‘wackos’ who had stalked Letterman. Seinfeld added that the ‘hysterical’ Lapine was a ‘three-name woman’ and ‘if you read history, many of the three-name people do become assassins.'” So then Lapine hit him with a slander lawsuit. It’s a Seinfeld episode gone horribly, horribly wrong. Kind of like the last, really unfunny episode of the series, which also took place in a courtroom.

Now, Jerry is seeking summary judgment claiming that “his remarks were consistent with a ‘recurring theme’ of his comedy and not slanderous.” Here’s an excerpt from the motion from Smoking Gun:

1007082seinfeld3.gif

So his defense is along the lines of, “Have you seen that one episode of Seinfeld?” Seinfeld references usually work among friends, but will they do the trick in the Southern District of New York?

Cosmo Kramer, Exhibit A [The Smoking Gun]

Earlier: Rich Celebrities Trying To Stiff Their Broker: “What’s the Deal With That?”

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