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Sullivan & Cromwell and the Gays: Kiehling Them With Kindness

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Kiehls Sullivan Cromwell Aaron Charney Above the Law blog.jpgIn response to yesterday’s quick post on the Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell litigation, a tipster sent us this:

I don’t have any information on the case, but thought you might be interested in this minor tidbit on Sullivan & Cromwell.

The Lavender Law conference (the annual GLBT CLE fest) was in Chicago last weekend. S&C did not send anyone for the conference itself, as far as I know, but they flew in several associates just for the closing ceremonies.

They also offered the nicest swag of any firm: gift sets of Kiehl’s products. Seems they are trying to repair some damage with the gay community, even if it’s only through cosmetics.

“Only” through cosmetics? Kiehl’s products are no ordinary cosmetics. S&C is shrewd: they know the way to our hearts is through our pores.
Sure, that Aaron Charney might seem cute and well-meaning. But who wouldn’t kick him to the curb for a lifetime supply of Facial Fuel?
Correction: According to various commenters, Sullivan & Cromwell personnel were present for the job fair as well. “S&C was front-and-center at Lav Law. A friend of mine called me from the fair to tell me how pallid and haggard they looked.”
Kiehl’s [official website]

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Lawsuit of the Day: Are You There God?

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Ernie Chambers Omaha Nebraska senator suing God Above the Law blog.jpgIt’s me, Ernie — Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers. And I’m suing your divine ass! From the AP:

The defendant in a state senator’s lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He’s everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he’s trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

And he pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda, and microwaved a few pooches. Jonathan Lee Riches, holla!
What relief is Chambers seeking? The WSJ Law Blog reports:

The lawsuit seeks a permanent injunction against God, ordering him to cease certain harmful activities. Chambers asked the court to waive personal-service requirement. Because God is omniscient, he argues, he will have actual knowledge of the action.

And you thought the $54 million pants lawsuit was crazy. If God’s deposition ends up being taken, can someone ask him about the proper construction of this contractual provision?
P.S. Props to the AP reporter who conferred a Jesus-like halo upon Senator Chambers. You win the prize for Most Creative Use of an Electric Fan as a Background Element.
[AP via WSJ Law Blog]

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Sadly, John Kerry Wasn’t Tasered (But He Could Have Used the Electricity)

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Taser 2 lawyers taser client Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgWe’re suckers for taser gun stories. Like this one, from the AP:

A University of Florida student was Tasered and arrested after trying angrily and repeatedly to ask U.S. Senator John Kerry about the 2004 election and other subjects during a campus forum….

Videos of Monday’s incident posted on several Web sites show officers pulling Andrew Meyer, 21, away from the microphone after he asks Kerry about impeaching President Bush and whether he and Bush were both members of the secret society Skull and Bones at Yale University.

“He apparently asked several questions he went on for quite awhile then he was asked to stop,” university spokesman Steve Orlando said. “He had used his allotted time. His microphone was cut off, then he became upset.”

More discussion, plus video, after the jump.

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Happily-Not-A-Lawyer of the Day: Rudolph Delson

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Maynard Jessica Rudolph Delson Above the Law blog.jpgWe continue our occasional series on Ex-Lawyers of the Day, with this interesting email from a Biglaw tipster:

In the interest of lawyers turned novelists turned vigilantes — this is for all of us who have received several calls an hour from headhunters — the email below deserves a mention in your blog.

Rudy Delson is a former Simpson attorney who left law firm life for fairer pastures in Brooklyn to write a novel. His book is being published today. There are lawyers in the book. I understand it may even be literature.

Here’s an explanatory email, from Delson to our tipster:

So, check this out. When I worked at Simpson, I saved the email address of every headhunter who ever contacted me. And then this morning, I was able to send them this…

Rudy Delson’s blast email / spam to the headhunters, after the jump.

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Morning Docket: 09.18.07

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* I sense a lucrative products liability niche practice area. [CNN]
* Both New Yorks sue Vioxx. [Jurist]
* ACLU takes a wide stance in favor of Larry Craig. [CNN]
* California can’t sue the car companies for breaking the planet. [New York Times]
* Lerach to plead guilty in Milberg Weiss case. [WSJ Law Blog]

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Lawyerly Lairs: Allen Grubman Ventures Below 14th Street

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Chambers St 200 Chambers Street Above the Law blog.jpgTime for another installment of Lawyerly Lairs, in which we follow the high-end real estate purchases of high-profile attorneys. Today’s subject is Allen Grubman, the hotshot entertainment lawyer with oodles of celebrity clients, who has become a celebrity in his own right.

From the New York Observer:

[The Grubmans] paid $3.07 million for a condo and two storage rooms at 200 Chambers Street, a glitzy new development in Tribeca.

Their new plush place has 2,201 square feet, not including those two storage spaces. Mr. Grubman can drive down in his 1961 Jaguar convertible, a gift from his wife.

The monster Park Avenue music lawyer, whose clients include Springsteen and U2, plus Martha Stewart and Barbara Walters, might have heard about the place from his wife, Corcoran Group power broker Deborah Grubman.

Sounds pretty faboo, right? Well, not so fast….

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Non-Sequiturs: 09.17.07

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Larry Craig airport mens room bathroom Above the Law blog.jpg* Don’t try doing #2 at the Larry Craig airport bathroom, unless you want tourists photographing your ankles in a “wide stance.” [BBC via Althouse; Idaho Statesman via Drudge]
* Did President Bush pick Michael Mukasey as his AG nominee to avoid a “bruising, potentially embarrassing fight” with the Democrats? Or is that analysis “way too facile”? [NYObserver.com; Marc Ambinder]
* Can New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick deduct his $500,000 fine? [TaxProf Blog via WSJ Law Blog]
* Blawg Review #126 is now available — with a heavy emphasis on business and the law (subjects of great interest to many of you). [Small Business Trends via Blawg Review]

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Lawyer of the Day: John David R. Atchison

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John David R Atchison AUSA John David Atchison Above the Law blog.jpgDuring his tenure as attorney general, Alberto Gonzales made it a policy priority to “keep our children safe” from creeps on the internets.
As it turns out, at least one alleged creep worked for the DOJ:

A U.S. Justice Department official has been arrested on suspicion of traveling to Detroit over the weekend to have sex with a minor.

John David R. Atchison, 53, an assistant U.S. attorney from the northern district of Florida, was arraigned in U.S. District Court in Detroit Monday afternoon.

An undercover officer posed as a mother offering her child to Atchison for sex, according to police.

And it gets worse:

The detective, acting as the child’s mother, allegedly arranged a sexual encounter between Atchison and her 5-year-old daughter, police said….

The undercover detective expressed concern about physical injury to the 5-year-old girl as a result of the sexual activity. Detectives said Atchison responded, ” I am always gentle and loving; not to worry, no damage ever, no rough stuff ever. I only like it soft and nice.”

If convicted and sentenced to prison, Mr. Atchison can try that line out on his new friends behind bars. But whether they’ll give it to him “soft and nice” is open to question.
Federal Prosecutor Arrested In Child Sex Sting [ClickOnDetroit.com]

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What’s Up With That Deer Valley Trip? A Quinn Emanuel Q-and-A

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Quinn Emanuel Urquhart Oliver Hedges associate salary Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgHas Quinn Emanuel’s unorthodox approach to the callback process ruffled some feathers? Maybe. Why does the firm brass keep on sending out emails about it?
Last Thursday, firm founder John Quinn sent out this email. Then, on Friday, name partner Bill Urquhart chimed in:

From: “A William Urquhart”
To: “Attorneys”
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 10:38:28 -0700
Subject:

We have received several questions about the recruiting weekend at Deer Valley. Here are some answers.

Question: Who is attending the weekend?

Answer: There will be approximately 20 lawyers from the firm–both associates and partners. There will be lawyers from all the firm’s four offices.. There will be law students from Texas, Chicago, Harvard and Yale. All of them will have received call backs. As you know, the vast majority of those students invited back to our offices receive offers. If the on campus interview processes operates as intended, this number should be close to 100% because nobody should be invited back unless they meet our minimum objective standards. They should also have met our more subjective standards.

Question: How did you choose these schools?

Answer: These were the schools whose interviews were late in the recruiting season. If this experiment is successful, we may decide to have two such events next year–one in late September for the students of the schools which schedule interviews early (e.g. Columbia, Stanford, U Va, NYU, etc.).

More discussion, after the jump.

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Best Choice of Law Clause Ever

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Jesus Saves Mediates Institute of Christian Conciliation Above the Law blog.jpgAn associate at an LA law firm sent us the following language, found in the governing law/disputes section of a software license agreement:

“This agreement is governed solely and exclusively by the principles written in the Holy Bible. All disputes must be mediated by a mediator nominated by the Institute of Christian Conciliation under the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation.”

Our source asks “Have you ever seen this before? How are disputes resolved? If you don’t pay the other side what you owe, are you going to hell?”
If only you had gone to Regent Law School.

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Breaking: Erwin Chemerinsky to UC Irvine After All!

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Erwin Chemerinsky Duke Law School UC Irvine Above the Law blog.jpgThis email message, from Professor Erwin Chemerinsky to Duke law school faculty and students, went out ten minutes ago.
Also, here’s some coverage from the Los Angeles Times.
———- Forwarded message ———-
From: “Erwin Chemerinsky”
To: [redacted]
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 13:07:53 -0400
Subject: news
It is with excitement and sadness that I am writing to tell you that I have accepted the position to be the founding dean of the Donald Bren School of Law at the University of California, Irvine. After meeting with Chancellor Michael Drake at length this weekend, I accepted his renewed offer. He provided me the greatest possible assurance of academic freedom for the dean and all faculty.
It has been one of the strangest and most difficult weeks of my life. I cannot possibly express my thanks for all of the support that I received from the law school’s faculty, administrators, and students. I am sad to be leaving this wonderful supportive community, though excited about the new challenges ahead.
Chemerinsky to return as UC Irvine law dean [Los Angeles Times]

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Clerkship Bonus Watch: Winston & Strawn

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Winston Strawn LLP logo Above the Law blog.JPGWe heard about this first from a tipster with an offer. But it’s confirmed by the firm website of Winston & Strawn:

Winston & Strawn associates who join the firm from judicial clerkships receive a clerkship bonus. Currently, the bonus paid to U.S. Court of Appeals and District Court clerks is $50,000. U.S. Supreme Court clerks receive a clerkship bonus that is competitive with the bonuses paid by other large national firms.

There’s no longer any doubt that $50K is the going rate for clerkship bonuses. But we will keep covering the subject, even if it’s not super-exciting, to encourage the firms that have yet to match to ante up.
Are you aware of clerkship bonus news that we haven’t previously reported? If so, please email us (subject line: “Clerkship Bonus Watch”). Thanks.
Judicial Clerks at Winston: Compensation & Benefits [Winston & Strawn]

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