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In fairness, Mariah Carey does fill out a Santa suit better than I do.

Last night, we gave you a little recap of the ATL holiday party — if you will forgive the expression — that PLC and ELR Search sponsored. Wow. Some of you commenters are really mean, especially after Kash takes out a restraining order against you. Your clever use of ouchy words really did a number on us here at ATL. I had to use my orbital ass to block out the moon last night to keep Ami from turning into a werewolf. I thought everybody would be over it by morning, but when I came in Marin was using a size 4 sweater as a full sleeping bag and our CEO was selling off Breaking Media equipment on Ebay while screaming “No, not again, I’ll not be ruined the internet bubble a second time!”

Just kidding — we know you say these things out of love, the love the rest of polite society denies you because of your various deformities. Pitiful commenters of darkness, what kind of life have you now? God give me courage to show you, You are not alone.

In fairness, there was only one comment last night that really pissed me off. It was the first one: “If you attended this you are a LOSER and need to GET A LIFE.” Really buddy? Coming out for free drinks and free food on a random Wednesday, if you read a blog — a blog you yourself read so intently that you are FIRST to comment on it — makes you a “LOSER.” Really?

Whatever. Winners, a class of people I think “Guest” knows nothing about, should be able to come and hang out at the humble holiday party thrown by a blog they read if they want to.

And then they should also be able be wined and dined at a proper holiday party, thrown by their employers. And employer-sponsored holiday parties, especially when the employers are large law firms, should be so extravagant that “Guest” gets paid time-and-a-half to serve drinks while successfully breathing through his nose instead of his mouth.

Were they? Or was this yet another year of recession-affected law firm holiday parties?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Holiday Party Open Thread: What Did (or Will) Your Firm Do This Holiday Season?”

Hal Turner: This blogger must go to prison.

* Professor Paul Caron has taken the data gathered by Princeton Review and come up with new law school rankings. Which school comes out on top? (Stanford is #2.) [TaxProf Blog]

* Are business students better than law students at making clever musical parody videos? Check out “Those CBS Girls” (Columbia Business School girls), set to the tune of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” (sic). [Dealbreaker]

* Hal Turner, the New Jersey right-wing blogger / shock jock who blogged “these judges must die,” has been sentenced. How much time did he get? [Huffington Post]

* Congratulations to the fabulous Judge Leslie Kobayashi, who was recently confirmed to the U.S. District Court for the District of Hawaii (along with other Obama judicial nominees confirmed to various courts around the country). [angry asian man; Associated Press]

* When non-whites play golf, bad things happen. [ESPN]

* The juicy lawsuit filed by Ariel Ayanna against Dechert got lost in the bonus news shuffle around here. But here are some thoughts from Jane Genova. [Law and More]

Long before Rounders and internet gambling and ESPN’s World Series of Poker coverage came along to ruin it all, poker was the game where if you could play (and had a sufficient bankroll) you could sit at a table with important people and make them know your name. You know, back in the day before poker became all about velvet ropes and posturing.

Luckily, despite the poker explosion, so few people play it well that snagging an invite to a quality Thursday night game is still a huge deal. In your career, you’re only going to have a few opportunities where a partner or client invites you over to his home — you cannot blow them. Being able to play a quality game of poker is a useful skill to have in your set. You need to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, and know when to walk away when your partner or client gives you that “fold boy, this is my table and you’re not allowed to win money here” look.

So we’ve got an interesting way to help you out….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Poker Lessons For ATL Readers”

As we head into the home stretch of our Top Partners to Work For series, we want to thank all of our readers who submitted such glowing partner nominations.  If you work for an outstanding partner whom you think should be included on the list, we will be accepting new nominations in another survey in a few months.

Over the past three weeks, we highlighted the best partners to work for in New York; Washington, D.C.; and California.  Our round-up wouldn’t be complete without a stopover in the Windy City, before moving on to some of the smaller legal markets to close the series.

Today, we present to you six Chicago partners who go above and beyond the call of duty. And they do so while working at some of the nation’s most prestigious firms: Mayer Brown, Katten Muchin Rosenman, Winston & Strawn, Latham & Watkins, and McGuire Woods.

A round of applause for these six partners….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Career Center Survey Results: Top Partners to Work for – Chicago”

Now that you’ve figured out what to give your secretary this holiday season, what about the lawyers in your life? Many of you have friends or family members who are lawyers or law students, and if you haven’t done so already, you need to get them — forgive the expression — Christmas presents (or holiday gifts, if you prefer).

Lawyerly types can be tough to shop for. As we’ve previously discussed, lawyers aren’t great about giving gratitude, and they’re often very critical — so your gifts might not be warmly received. Also, many lawyers earn good incomes, meaning that when they actually need or want something, they often just go out and buy it themselves (or let their firm to buy it for them — e.g., the iPad).

So what should you get for the lawyers in your life this holiday season? We have some suggestions….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Twelve Books of Christmas (2010)”

Here’s some very belated bonus news. Earlier this month, the New York office of Linklaters announced bonuses that matched the Cravath scale.

As usual at Linklaters, there was no hours requirement. The news was communicated via individual memo.

A Cravath match, especially in a bonus season when some firms are paying significantly more, kinda sucks isn’t that exciting. A Cravath bonus won’t get a Linklaters associate a pad as palatial as that of Linklaters partner Michael Bassett. Heck, $35K — the top of the Cravath scale — probably won’t even cover the cost of Bassett’s wallpaper.

But we’ll point out two nice things about Linklaters, both relating to tax issues….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Linklaters Matches Cravath
(But at least it has the gay gross-up.)”

This is just coming into the ATL inbox, but it appears that Sullivan & Cromwell has announced bonuses that will essentially match the Cravath bonus scale.

“Essentially,” because there are a few interesting caveats: people in the class of 2003 will get $37,500 — i.e., $2,500 more than the Cravath class of 2003 — and our tipsters say there is language in the memo suggesting that S&C might pay a spring bonus next year. (You’ll remember that S&C did not pay out spring bonuses this year.)

UPDATE (1:07 PM): In addition, people in the class of 2002 will get $42,500. The spring bonuses will depend on the firm’s performance.

UPDATE (1/21/11): Read about the S&C spring 2011 bonuses over here.

If you have more information (or the memo), please send us an email at tips@abovethelaw.com, or a text message at 646-820-TIPS.

In the meantime, this news looks like a compromise between the conflicting SullCrom factions we reported on last week

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: That’s All Folks, Sullivan & Cromwell (Basically) Matches Cravath”

And I was at — forgive the expression — a Christmas party at the Department of Justice, and people actually [were] really worried about this [budget issue].

— NPR legal affairs correspondent Nina Totenberg, in a recent on-air discussion. Totenberg’s apology for using the “C” word has generated controversy in conservative circles.

UPDATE: Totenberg intended no disrespect to Christmas. See here.

Does the Justice League know anything about justice?

As we mentioned in Morning Docket, the New York Times profiled the most dork-tastic new blog: Law and the Multiverse: Superheroes, supervillains, and the law. The blog brings a legal focus to various superhero universes from comics and movies.

I have a few thoughts, in no particular order:

  • Wasn’t this the plot to the generally unwatchable Hancock? Doesn’t Will Smith goes into an alcoholic funk after he gets sued?
  • Wasn’t this also the set up of The Incredibles? They outlaw superheroes because of all the property damage they’re causing?
  • How long before the History Channel turns this blog into a television series? I say it’s out no later than the release date of the next Spiderman movie.
  • Speaking of Spiderman, did you hear that one of the actors in the Spiderman musical on Broadway fell out of the sky last night? It’s kind of horrifying, but you know: tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.

Anyway, let’s take a look at these law dorks who have given up trying to ever impress a woman…

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And another one bites the dust. Simpson Thacher just announced associate bonuses, and they’re using the Cravath scale.

Here is one source’s concise communication: “Simpson Thacher bonus memo just released — matching Cravath. A**holes.” Says a second: “I feel like I got punched in the gut.” From a third: “People here are livid. Can’t believe they announced a month later than normal and matched. What BS.”

Another top firm matching Cravath? Honestly, it doesn’t sound shocking.

But the Simpson match might be slightly more newsworthy than the recent Cravath matches by Davis Polk, Cleary, and Debevoise. Here’s why….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Simpson Thacher Matches Cravath”

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… for a legal secretary / administrative assistant. Law firm partners are getting their end-of-year distributions, associates are getting their bonuses, and some of this bounty will be shared with their secretaries, in the form of Christmas — er, holiday — gifts.

What should you get your secretary as a holiday present? It’s a familiar question that comes up every year. Here’s an open thread where you can discuss and compare notes with your peers. We’ve also included a reader poll at the end of the post.

Let’s start the conversation with some preliminary observations….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Holiday Gifts for Your Secretary / Administrative Staff: Open Thread”

Shaun Ellis is getting sued over a snowball fight.

* The fight for the future begins: the FCC is going to deal with net neutrality today. Are we going to end up with a red pill versus blue pill scenario? [Media Decoder / New York Times]

* Super-agent Jim Wiatt, former head of the William Morris talent agency, is suing Winston & Strawn and former Winston partner Jonathan Star Bristol. [ABA Journal]

* With the threat of a Cuomo lawsuit, Ernst & Young is totally wishing that it didn’t ignore those Repo 105s on the Lehman books right about now. [Going Concern]

* For most law firms, the Twitterverse is still a poor and misunderstood red-headed step child – the kind not even worthy of a single beating. [Corporate Counsel]

* It’s a good thing Above the Law doesn’t have a repeal amendment, or the commentariat would try to overturn my employment. [CBS News]

* What does this pedophile want for Christmas? A 12-year-old stocking stuffer. The author of the how-to guide for child touchers was arrested under Florida law. [CNN Justice]

* Shaun Ellis is getting sued for throwing a snow ball. Okay, so it was a snow boulder, but it looks like the only thing that got hurt was the victim’s ego. [New York Post]

* What this lonely Jew is going to do for Christmas: get drunk, eat Chinese food, and read about superhero law. Because really, I’m just that nerdy. [New York Times]

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