Animal Law

* NAACP issues travel advisory for Missouri. Having been in Missouri recently… yeah this makes total sense. [CNN]

* Trump uses signing statement to tell Putin he’s sorry the meanies in Congress want to sanction him. [NPR]

* DLA Piper paying some of its associates more money. [Law.com]

* Microsoft is moving its work to alternative fee arrangements. It’s like what Uber tried to do… but with a much, much, much more successful company. [Law360]

* Dr. Dolittle of Schiff Hardin. [Litigation Daily]

* Iowa is reforming its juvenile justice system. [Courier]

* The best footnotes of all time. [National Law Journal]

* Art Linkletter hosted Kids Say the Darnedest Things. Well, the FBI is saying that Linklaters associates say the darnedest things. [Am Law Daily]

* How do you know you’re in Appalachia? When a law schools says intimidating professors with guns is just obnoxious teasing. Boys will be boys! [Law.com]

* Keker suing the Trump campaign over the DNC hack because when it rains it pours. [National Law Journal]

* Seventh Circuit upholds Wisconsin’s starve the unions law. [Reuters]

* Justice Breyer talks about changing his mind [Law360]

* MasterCard is helping lead the way in promoting law firm diversity. [Big Law Business]

* “He is a monkey.” [L.A. Times]

* Administration ordered to release the names of all those detained under its ill-considered executive order. This of course rests on the questionable premise that the administration kept any paperwork at all while it ran around nabbing people. [National Law Journal]

* ATTACK ROOSTER!!! [Law.com]

* Hank Greenberg calls the Martin Act a “very dangerous weapon,” which it probably is if you’re an unrepentant fraudster. [Law360]

* Tips for writing non-compete agreements when you absolutely, positively want to screw your employees. [Corporate Counsel]

* Trump nixes transgender protections in schools, opting to leave the issue for the states — a mantra we should probably get used to hearing about all civil rights protections. [Washington Post]

* Suge Knight thinks he needs greater access to his attorneys. Attorneys too scared of Suge Knight to disagree. [Courthouse News Service]

* Sidley had a good year — no matter how they got their money. [Am Law Daily]

* IMDb can officially tell you how old stars are again. Our long national nightmare is over. [Fox News]

* Zimbabwe officials won’t charge Dr. Walter Palmer in the slaying of Cecil the lion since he had proper paperwork, but he likely won’t be allowed to hunt if he ever returns. This will not stand. It’s now time for the American vigilante animal-lover justice team to assemble. [Reuters]

* Per the results of two new surveys, Biglaw firms can stop worrying about their work drying up thanks to in-house law departments keeping matters in-house. Outside spending on legal counsel is flat as opposed to in the negative, and that’s apparently something to celebrate. [WSJ Law Blog]

* This school puts the “duh” in Flori-duh: As we mentioned previously, Ave Maria School of Law was the caboose on the trainwreck that was the July 2015 administration of the Florida bar exam, and now people can’t stop staring at the wreckage. [Naples Daily News]

* The Cannabis Law and Policy Project, a new group at the University of Washington School of Law, will spend the next year researching existing and emerging markets for marijuana. We can’t wait for them to puff, puff, pass on their knowledge. [UW Today]

* If you’re planning to take the LSAT with testing accommodations, there are a few things that you need to know. Find out what types of accommodations are available, and be sure to file your — OMG, SQUIRREL! [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* PETA’s general counsel swears his organization isn’t monkeying around when it comes to asserting the IP rights of Naruto the selfie-taking monkey, but he may have to deal with a jungle of jurisdictional issues first. [Motherboard / VICE]

* Mmmm, Dewey smell a mistrial? On the eighth day of deliberations in the criminal trial of D&L’s former leaders, the jurors likely made defense counsels’ hearts skip a beat when they asked the judge for instructions on what to do concerning their undecided colleagues. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Chief Justice John Roberts, who has voted conservatively in 85 percent of the Supreme Court’s most divisive 5-4 decisions, apparently isn’t conservative enough for our conservatives. It’s the damn Affordable Care Act. Thanks, Obama. [New York Times]

* According to the latest Acritas Global Elite Law Firm Brand Index 2015, for the sixth year running, Baker & McKenzie has the most recognizable Biglaw brand in the world. DLA Piper will continue to “churn [those] bill[s], baby!” in second place. [PR Web]

* Take the deal: Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, who’s accused of hiding large sums used as hush money to conceal his prior sexual misconduct, is negotiating a plea deal with prosecutors. If he were convicted at trial, he’d face up to 10 years in prison. [Reuters]