Animal Law

  • Email in Inbox

    6th Circuit, Animal Law, Biglaw, Job Searches, Non-Sequiturs, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 04.03.14

    * Corporette tackles the thorny question of what to do with your email when you leave a firm. Personally, I used my email to offer my firm’s services to a whole panoply of Nigerian princes on my way out the door, but her advice is good too. [Corporette]

    * Cursing out someone in court in a foreign language will not protect you from criminal contempt. Well, my investment in Rosetta Stone Romanian just went down the drain. [Southern District of Florida Blog]

    * Requiring wild animals to be microchipped is not a regulatory taking. Besides, as I read this NSA stuff, it seems like we should be more concerned about humans being microchipped than some Ocelot (named Babou, obviously). [IT-Lex]

    * This is just awful. There’s no joke here. Well, there is, but I’m not going to make it. [Fox News]

    * A little late, but this is a fun April Fools’ Day riff on Biglaw expansion efforts. I’m not saying they’re making fun of DLA Piper, but they’re totally making fun of DLA Piper. [Green Patent Blog]

    * If you’re looking for a public records request to make of the City of Philadelphia, try getting every document surrounding the decision to go after unpaid labor at the expense of giving paying work to lawyers. Screenshot here in case they get wise to the bad publicity. [Philadelphia Bar Association]

    * Kent Zimmerman discusses how some law firms are finding growth in the challenging market. Check it out after the jump…. [Mimesis]

    1 Comment / / Apr 3, 2014 at 4:44 PM
  • Walrus

    Animal Law, Antonin Scalia, Bernie Madoff, Breasts, International Law, Jury Duty, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Social Media, Social Networking Websites, Supreme Court, Twittering

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.19.14

    * I include this line not to highlight the horribleness of zoos, but because I’m doing NS today and this contains a fun anecdote about walrus masturbation. [Cracked]

    * Meanwhile, on Redline, I’m like, doing stuff. [ATL: Redline]

    * “I really want to go to law school to study international law and be a part of solving problems like what’s going on in Crimea right now.” — Dumb idiot who will wish he read Above the Law before he went to law school. [Radio Free Europe]

    * Student gets punished for sending a tweet from home. Should it really matter where you are sitting when you hit the button on the tweet calling your principal a “pussy ass bitch”? [It-Lex]

    * I think the jurors on the Bernie Madoff co-conspirator case might be running a Ponzi scheme. [Dealbreaker]

    * Everyone is overwhelmed, apparently. [Going Concern]

    * Scalia apparently comes up with his s**t while dozing off to sleep. So, literally now, Scalia’s dreams are the stuff of my nightmares. [Military.com]

    4 Comments / / Mar 19, 2014 at 5:30 PM
  • Medical marijuana prescription

    Animal Law, Carter Phillips, Celebrities, Drugs, Gay, Gay Marriage, Law Schools, Marijuana, Non-Sequiturs, Seth Zimmerman, Severance, Sex

    Non-Sequiturs: 02.18.14

    * A Miami attorney is gearing up for legalized medical marijuana. He’s even selling franchises, hopefully called McKinebud’s. [Daily Business Review]

    * Is Gwyneth cheating on Chris Martin with an entertainment lawyer? [Defamer]

    * A Florida village has become a refuge to sex offenders because there’s nowhere else they can go. Isn’t this the plot of Arrested Development? [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo!]

    * As if law schools aren’t charging enough, they also absolutely ravage students on casebook prices. It doesn’t have to be this way. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Who’d have thought it would be this hard to define a pig? [Modern Farmer]

    * If you aren’t following DLA Piper’s boss Sir Nigel Knowles on Twitter, then… you’re lucky. [Legal Cheek]

    * The vice president of the Constitutional Accountability Center weighs in on Judge Wright Allen’s marriage equality decision from the perspective of a gay, married Virginian. [Pilot Online]

    * See, it’s not just lawyers who get annoyed when TV doesn’t live up to the realities of the profession. Political communications professionals can get pretty irked by House of Cards. [Ditto Public Affairs]

    * A circuit judge just seized control of a lower court’s docket, setting restrictions on a judge’s ability to hear domestic violence cases after finding a repeated pattern of improperly blowing off these matters. It may be the Benchslap-Heard-Round-the-Nation since the slapped jurist is also the president-elect of the American Judges Association. [Detroit Free Press]

    9 Comments / / Feb 18, 2014 at 5:01 PM
  • zombie-lawyer

    Animal Law, Attorney Misconduct, Baseball, Biglaw, California, Contracts, Death Penalty, Disasters / Emergencies, DUI / DWI, Kids, Lateral Moves, Law Professors, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Television

    Non-Sequiturs: 02.05.14

    * Randy Levine, president of the New York Yankees, has left Akin Gump’s dugout. He hopes to hit it out of the park and slide into his new home at Jackson Lewis. Please, no more baseball references. :( [Am Law Daily]

    * Thanks to Virginia, the electric chair may be making a comeback when drugs for lethal injection aren’t available. OMG, that’s so freakin’ lame. Bring back the breaking wheel or death by disembowelment. [Gawker]

    * A lawyer won’t have to pay an ex-law student $1M after making a hyperbolic challenge in a TV interview. Better luck reading the Leonard v. Pepsico case next time, pal. [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * Protip: when you’ve been suspended for your “contemptuous attitude,” bragging that one of the judges who disciplined you thinks you’re “probably the best DUI lawyer” isn’t smart. [Santa Barbara Independent]

    * If you watch The Walking Dead, you’ve probably wondered if all of the killing was legal — because you’re a lawyer, and you can’t enjoy anything anymore. Here’s your answer, from a UC Hastings Law prof. [GQ]

    * If you’d like your chickens to live a life of luxury before you eat them and their eggs, then you’re going to love this law in California. If not, you can move to Missouri. See Elie squawk about it here. [ATL Redline]

    * Ian Whittle, a recent George Mason Law grad, took a break from watching the saddest Super Bowl ever to save a little girl from drowning in a pond. Check out the news coverage, after the jump. [CBS 6 WTVR]

    0 Comments / / Feb 5, 2014 at 5:26 PM
  • Hereford_bull_large-RF

  • 'Please don't eat me, Mr. Mann.'

    Animal Law, Crime, Food, Pets, Quote of the Day

    Lawyer Doesn’t See What’s So Bad About Eating Pets

    Would you classify your pet as nothing more than meat, like this lawyer?

    16 Comments / / Jan 13, 2014 at 4:59 PM
  • Ducklings RF

    Animal Law, Lawyer of the Day

    Callously Mowing Down Ducks With Your Beamer Is Probably Not A Crime

    Five little ducks went out one day… and they died.

    42 Comments / / Jan 6, 2014 at 12:19 PM
  • Law rabbit RF

    Animal Law, Law Schools, Pets, United Kingdom / Great Britain

    When Living With Law Students Goes Real Wrong

    Law students fighting over rabbits like children.

    24 Comments / / Dec 17, 2013 at 5:58 PM
  • 437px-Michael_R_Bloomberg

    Animal Law, Copyright, Crime, Labor / Employment, Law Schools, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Sex, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.16.13

    * Mayor Bloomberg is filing suit to overturn New York’s Living Wage law, because wasting a bunch of money pursuing a lawsuit for the last two weeks of his term is the kind of efficiency he brings to the table as a biznessmun. [DNAInfo]

    * Judge Richard Leon puts the NSA metadata surveillance program on ice. Looks like someone’s going to get bugged. [Slate]

    * Someone’s asking for a fake college transcript in Baton Rouge. Pretty sure LSU’s athletic department could give you a hand. [Law and More]

    * Considering the polygamy ruling in Utah, here’s an interesting analysis of the constitutionality of bestiality laws. This seems like an appropriate place to link this song about a guy who broke into the Lincoln Park zoo in Chicago. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

    * Here’s a fun game: replace the name of the school and the course of study and marvel at how easily it could pass for an article Elie wrote. [Huffington Post]

    * These folks got smacked with a cybersquatting charge because they used a logical domain name to publicize an ongoing dispute. It’s a lot easier to sue people than to build a solid home. [IT-Lex]

    * In sad news, the victim in a recent carjacking-related killing was Dustin Friedland, a Syracuse law grad who worked with Adam Leitman Bailey. Our thoughts are with the Friedland family. [NY Daily News]

    * The Beastie Boys are suing GoldieBlox over the latter’s viral ad set to a parody of “Girls.” Unlike GoldieBlox, NYU Law professor Chris Sprigman doesn’t need an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine to burst the Beastie Boys’ bubble. Video embedded after the jump… [Bloomberg Law via YouTube]

    0 Comments / / Dec 16, 2013 at 5:16 PM
  • pillard-nina_1

    Advertising, Animal Law, Crime, D.C. Circuit, Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.12.13

    * Friendly reminder: All your holiday card competition submissions are due at the end of the day Monday! [Above the Law]

    * Congratulations to Georgetown’s Nina Pillard on her confirmation to the D.C. Circuit. That whole “no filibuster” thing is really working out for the Democrats. For now. [Georgetown Law]

    * The daily trials and travails of a law grad working retail. Some day the aisles run red with the blood of the supporters of Barbara from the men’s cologne counter. [Law Grad Working Retail]

    * What if lawyers created some of the greatest ads in history? Missing: “Avis: We Try Harder” vs. “Avis.” [Vice]

    * An interview with a whistleblower. What happened to the man who exposed the NYPD’s practice of creating quotas for summonses and arrests? [Colorlines]

    * Mark Herrmann talks about his prosopagnosia. [New York Times]

    * Robbery suspect explains that the crime was committed by his alternate personality that takes over against the suspect’s will. Looks like Killer BOB is on the loose and committing crimes in Wisconsin! [Stevens Point Journal]

    * We’ve discussed the chimp case, but the real question is how will this all affect Superman. [Law and the Multiverse]

    1 Comment / / Dec 12, 2013 at 5:15 PM
  • It just wouldn't be prudent to let him back into society. (Image via Sunday Mercury)

    Animal Law, Bankruptcy, Football, Free Speech, Gay Marriage, Guns / Firearms, Legal Ethics, Non-Sequiturs, Videos

    Non-Sequiturs: 12.10.13

    * Remember the chimps seeking habeas? Well, bad news: they’re staying in custody, per an order from Judge Ralph A. Boniello III. Now their freedom is up to the Army of the 12 Monkeys. [Wired]

    * Elizabeth Coker has announced she is seeking the office of Polk County Criminal District Attorney. While some may disagree, I think this is a great idea. She’s been directing the litigation strategies of prosecutors for some time now. So why does a judge drummed out of office for texting prosecutors think she should go back into public service? Prayer. Of course. [Polk County Today]

    * Judge Steven Rhodes is overseeing the Detroit bankruptcy. He’s not taking any guff off anyone, including an investment banker who pledged that it was “very important” that his firm help the city, prompting Judge Rhodes to point out, “What’s very important to you is to make money.” He’s also a badass rhythm guitarist. [Associated Press via Yahoo!]

    * A Colorado judge has declared that a discriminating baker can no longer prevent gay couples from buying wedding cakes. It’s unclear if he’s ordering the baker to stock those stupid plastic cake toppers in groom & groom format. [Consumerist]

    * Proofreading law school exams. This article is aimed at law students, but maybe it should be directed toward a certain St. John’s professor… [Law School Toolbox]

    * George Zimmerman’s girlfriend wants him out of jail. She originally told police that Zimmerman pointed a shotgun in her face. That’s Princess Bride-level true love s**t right there. [Slate]

    * Michigan State celebrated putting Ohio State in its place by setting “at least 57 fires.” Can someone holding a sign encouraging people to “Burn the Couch” be held liable? A better question is whether West Virginia can sue Michigan State for stealing their hillbilly intellectual property? [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Sadly, Akerman partner Richard Sharpstein was found dead in his home today. He was 63. [Daily Business Review]

    * A few tipsters sent this one in. They claim it’s a law student acting like a jerk trying to buy cigarettes in a drug store. The sound is spotty, so none of us could figure out exactly what was going on, but it’s worth it for the guy who yells: “Yeah, tell him! Tell him when you were born!” Video after the jump….

    5 Comments / / Dec 10, 2013 at 5:04 PM
  • Puppies RF

    Animal Law, Divorce Train Wrecks, Quote of the Day, State Judges

    Cut the dog in half! That way each of you can have part of him.

    This is what happens when you don’t have babies.

    19 Comments / / Dec 5, 2013 at 3:24 PM
  • 600px-Hausziege_04-RF

    Animal Law, Quote of the Day, Trials, Videos, YouTube

    But Will This Goat Have To Enter Witness Protection?

    A surprise witness shows up for a man’s bestiality trial.

    3 Comments / / Dec 3, 2013 at 4:31 PM
  • Chimpanzee Phone RF

    Animal Law, Lawsuit of the Day

    Lawsuit Of The Apes

    Who will speak for the chimps?

    34 Comments / / Dec 3, 2013 at 10:15 AM
  • cute kitty

    Animal Law, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Canada, Deaths, Gay, Gay Marriage, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Pets, Pornography, SCOTUS, Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court

    Morning Docket: 11.21.13

    * Justice Sonia Sotomayor thinks that the lack of diversity on the federal and state judiciaries poses a “huge danger,” one that might even be greater than her complete inability to dance. [Blog of Legal Times]

    * Because “love [shouldn’t be] relegated to a second-class status for any citizen in our country,” Illinois is now the 16th state in the U.S. to have legalized same-sex marriage. Congratulations and welcome! [CNN]

    * “His discrimination claim was not about discrimination.” After only 2.5 hours deliberating, the jury reached a verdict in John Ray III v. Ropes & Gray, and the Biglaw firm came out on top. [National Law Journal]

    * One thing’s for sure: big city bankruptcies ain’t cheap. Detroit has paid about $11 million to Jones Day, emergency manager Kevyn Orr’s former firm, since this whole process kicked off. [Detroit Free Press]

    * The entire judicial panel overseeing Judge Lori Douglas’s ethics inquiry just quit. Justice apparently wouldn’t be served by continuing to examine a middle-aged woman’s porn pictures. [Winnipeg Free Press]

    * Baylor Law is being overrun by a colony of feral cats. Someone please tell the administration these kitties can’t be used as therapy animals before finals — students will have their faces clawed off. [Baylor Lariat]

    * Guy Cellucci, managing partner of White & Williams who died unexpectedly, RIP. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

    5 Comments / / Nov 21, 2013 at 9:05 AM
  • Raccoon RF

  • Supreme Court SCOTUS photo by David Lat

    Animal Law, Antonin Scalia, Biglaw, Federal Government, Federal Judges, Judicial Nominations, Lateral Moves, Law Firm Mergers, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Pets, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Trials

    Morning Docket: 10.08.13

    * Say what you will about Justice Scalia, but the man is hilarious — more funny than his four liberal colleagues combined, according to a statistical analysis of oral argument recordings. [New York Times]

    * The government shutdown is slowing down the judicial confirmation process, already famous for its speed and efficiency. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

    * More about news for Steven Donziger in his long-running battle with Chevron. Maybe it’s time to surrender, Steve? I hear Ecuador is a great place to retire. [New York Law Journal]

    * Law firm merger mania continues, as Carlton Fields combines with Jorden Burt. [Carlton Fields (press release)]

    * Herbert Smith Freehills says “you’re hired” to Scott Balber, the lawyer for Donald Trump who got mocked by Bill Maher on national television. [The Lawyer]

    * You might see your dog as harmless and cuddly, but the law might see your dog as a weapon (and rightfully so, in my opinion). [New York Times via ABA Journal]

    * Congratulations to all the winners of the FT’s Innovative Lawyers awards. [Financial Times]

    * And congratulations to Heidi Wendel and Deirdre McEvoy, high-ranking government lawyers headed to Jones Day and Patterson Belknap, respectively. [New York Law Journal]

    * Today the Supreme Court will hear argument in McCutcheon v. FEC, a major campaign finance case that some are calling “the next Citizens United.” Check out an interview with one of the lawyers behind it, after the jump. [UCTV]

    Marty Lasden of California Lawyer magazine interviewed the severely conservative James Bopp Jr. for the “Legally Speaking” series (in which I previously participated). It appears this interview with Bopp took place before Bopp got bumped from the podium in favor of Erin Murphy, a young superstar of the Supreme Court bar.

    8 Comments / / Oct 8, 2013 at 9:18 AM
  • angry polar bear RF

    Animal Law, Canada, Disasters / Emergencies, Quote of the Day

    Lawyer Gets Attacked By Polar Bear And Lives To Tell About It

    There’s no warding off a polar bear attack. Trust this guy, he would know.

    23 Comments / / Aug 13, 2013 at 3:20 PM