* According to the latest data from NALP, summer associate hiring is up for the fifth year in a row. Hooray! But wait, don’t go licking each other’s popsicles just yet — some law firms (35 percent of them, in fact) actually reduced the number of offers they made. [National Law Journal]
* In response to outcry over bar exam reforms, this Dechert partner took time out of his day to wonder: “Is it too much to expect that future lawyers know the difference between a tort and a tenancy in common, or do we expect clients to pay them $400 an hour to learn it?” [Wall Street Journal]
* Now that oral arguments in King v. Burwell have concluded, it’s probably time you found out what’s at stake for you if you haven’t done so already, procrastinators. This is what will happen if SCOTUS strikes down Obamacare subsidies. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Edward Snowden is reportedly ready to return to the United States, provided, of course, that he’ll receive a “legal and impartial trial.” Attorney General Eric Holder has already promised Snowden that he won’t face the death penalty, so that’s a start. [CNN]
* An ADA in Texas apparently referred to defense counsel as a “motherf*cker” in front of jurors during a trial. We think now would be a great time to add this to the list of things that will get you kicked off a case. [Austin American-Statesmen via ABA Journal]
* Unfortunately, it seems that if you want to get an elite legal education in this country, you’re going to have to pay an arm and a leg for it. This year’s NLJ Top 10 Go-To Law Schools each have a sticker price that’s greater than $50K. [National Law Journal]
* Hamline University’s president thinks it was smarter for her law school to merge with William Mitchell Law than for it to close altogether — hey, it’ll still bear the Hamline name and its dying carcass won’t be on her books anymore! [Star Tribune]
* Later this week, SCOTUS will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case that could decimate the Affordable Care Act as we know it. At this point, the justices must be contemplating how many people will lose if the plaintiffs here win. [Wall Street Journal]
* An ADA from the Brooklyn DA’s office who prosecuted drug cases was canned after his colleagues learned that he failed to report his personal connection to an admitted cocaine dealer. Perhaps they were jealous he refused to share his hookup. [New York Daily News]
* In case you missed it, Above the Law, your favorite legal website, has been “rankle[d]” by a new series on CNNMoney called “Above the Law.” We know you’re as ticked off about this as we are, so we hope you’ll help us write our cease-and-desist letter. [Am Law Daily]
Kinney is currently running an exclusive search for an Asia GC role at a well known tech start-up company, based in Shenzhen. This company has received significant recent praise for their new smart phone device in leading medial outlets, such as the New York Times, TIME, Mashable, Wired, Yahoo, and Forbes, among others.
* George Zimmerman was arrested for aggravated assault and domestic violence with a weapon. His lawyer said his client “has not been lucky with the ladies.” He hasn’t been lucky with being a decent human being, either. [USA Today]
* Lawrence McCreery, the Hawaii lawyer who licked a client’s ear and inspired the judge on his case to call him a “dirty old man,” has had his harassment conviction upheld on appeal. Get excited, he’s still got a law license, ladies. [Associated Press]
* We may soon see same-sex marriage bans in three states struck down, as the Fifth Circuit “appeared poised” to do so after oral arguments on Friday. Roberta Kaplan, our 2013 Lawyer of the Year, delivered a standout performance in arguing against Mississippi’s ban. [BuzzFeed]
* What do Sidley Austin, Baker & McKenzie, Reed Smith, Hogan Lovells, and Skadden Arps have in common? Their names were used in phishing emails to scam people out of their money. Some might say that’s business as usual. [Crain’s Chicago Business]
* An arrest was made in the forcible rape of a woman — presumably a law student — that took place in the stacks of the Southern University Law Center’s library last semester. The accused rapist is currently behind held without bond. [WBRZ]
* Here’s some JOLTing news: Megon Walker, the Harvard Law graduate who claims her life was ruined because the school accused her of being a plagiarist, just lost her defamation suit against her alma mater. [National Law Journal]
* “You have a party like this and it’s as though you’re handing out hand grenades as party favors.” Jeff Lake, a California lawyer, was arrested and faces social host liability issues thanks to his kid’s Playboy party. [Denver Channel]
* Congress is back in session, and President Obama resubmitted his nomination of Loretta Lynch for U.S. attorney general, along with other judicial nods. She’ll be a “terrific attorney general,” so get this show on the road. [Legal Times]
* “How many clinics do you have to close before the court says, ‘Enough’?” Lawyers for abortion clinics and Texas state attorneys faced off before the Fifth Circuit over the
viabilityconstitutionality of the Lone Star State’s abortion laws. [New York Times]
* It’s a new year with new laws in effect, and it looks like 27 states, plus D.C., have made major moves with regard to weed, be it through the legalization medical marijuana or decriminalization of its possession. Do you know your rights? [CNN]
* Per recent reports, human rights attorney Amal Clooney was threatened with arrest after she pointed out major issues with the Egyptian justice system in a paper sponsored by the International Bar Association. She was able to escape because officials feared the wrath of George Clooney. [The Telegraph]
* Uh oh! It looks like Alan Dershowitz got himself mixed up in a lawsuit involving a salacious underage sex scandal. In his own defense, the famed Havard Law prof said, “It’s a completely, totally fabricated, made-up story. I’m an innocent victim of an extortion conspiracy.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* The price of the billable hour may have risen by more than 10 percent over the course of the last four years, but according to the chairman of one Biglaw firm, “[t]he question is: Is anybody paying that?” Hahaha, yeah right. [National Law Journal]
* That was quick. The Bitcoin Foundation hired a global policy counsel who lasted there for less than a year. It seems the policy and regulation aspects of the digital currency’s existence were viewed as a “distraction.” [DealBook / New York Times]
* Chicago Biglaw and midsized firms are brushing up on their Mandarin language skills because Chinese investment in the Windy City hit more than $3 billion last year. FYI, senior associates, these firms may have a job for you. [Crain’s Chicago Business]
* Did she get SLC punk’d? Another woman was just nabbed for allegedly pretending to be a lawyer. It seems that Utah resident Karla Carbo reportedly impersonated a member of the bar at least three times in the past six months. [New York Daily News]
* In his year-end report, Chief Justice Roberts wrote about the high court’s belated adoption of the latest technological advances, but promised SCOTUS briefs and filings would be online… next year. [New York Times]
* It’s been recommended that J. Michael Farren, the former White House lawyer who attempted to murder his ex-wife — a former Skadden Arps attorney — be disbarred in D.C. Apparently the bar considers a conviction for something like this a big no-no. [Legal Times]
* Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s terrorism trial for his involvement in the Boston Marathon bombings will begin in Boston on January 5, despite his legal team’s best efforts to avoid the inevitable. At least fangirls won’t have to travel to admire him. [Bloomberg]
* Here’s one law prof’s thoughts on Harvard Law’s lame response to sexual assault complaints: “I believe … that Harvard University will be deeply shamed at the role it played in simply caving to the government’s position.” Well then. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Remember the Idaho prosecutor who recited the lyrics to “Dixie” during closing arguments at a black man’s trial? The defendant’s conviction was overturned because the prosecutor “inject[ed] the risk of racial prejudice into the case.” [NBC News]
* “People asked me what I want as an epitaph: He tried.” Mario Cuomo, the three-term New York governor and Willkie Farr alumnus who was once considered to replace Supreme Court Justice Byron White, has passed away. RIP. [New York Times]
Whoa! The lawyers at this firm must have been pretty shocked by the unexpected news.
If you like to practice law, you probably shouldn’t do something like this to a judge.
The attorney in question had two licenses suspended: her driver’s license AND her law license.
What was this partner thinking when he filed this off-the-wall petition with the Supreme Court?
Will Teresa Giudice have to flip a table to get justice?
Alecia Schmuhl, the alleged brains behind the attack, apparently has a history of making threats against law firm bosses.
* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]
* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]
* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]
* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]
* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]
* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]
* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* Deep in the heart of Texas, a judge refused to dismiss Gov. Rick Perry’s felony case over a silly technicality in the underlying paperwork concerning the special prosecutor’s oath of office. [CNN]
* This lawyer got a spanking for including a noncompete in an associate’s contract that said he wouldn’t be able to practice the same type of law for two years. [Legal Profession Blog via ABA Journal]
* UVA Law came in at #7 in the Graduate Programs ranking of the 50 best law schools, but the the school doesn’t “focus on year-to-year fluctuations in rankings.” Keep those collars popped high. [Cavalier Daily]
* “I’m hopeful that we’ll get our Tracy back, the guy everyone loves.” Tracy Morgan’s lawyer says the comedian’s crash with a Wal-Mart truck this summer has left him with a traumatic brain injury. [Bloomberg]
* After its giant, website-crashing sale debacle earlier this month, someone decided to file a class-action suit against Sephora for discriminating against Asian customers whose accounts were blocked. [Reuters]
What could allegedly have driven this couple to these extremes?
You may not believe this headline, but you have to read the disciplinary filing.