Benchslaps

* Kagan, J., benchslapping. [Josh Blackman's Blog] * I think I’d get this if I understood gymnastics. [Associate's Mind] * Some people think IBR is pointless, but if you disagree, check out this petition. [We the People: Your Voice in Government] * Partner readers, check out this new podcast (featuring law firm consultant Ed Wesemann and yours truly). [Attorney Search Group] * Our annual Law Revue Video Contest is still a few months away, but if you like making legally themed videos, keep an eye on this contest (more details forthcoming, including info on the prizes). [Federal Bar Association] * Speaking of contests, we welcome your votes in the ABA Journal’s Blawg 100 (under “News/Analysis”). [ABA Journal] * And speaking of Above the Law, the deadline for applying for our writer/editor position and our internship is tomorrow — so act now if interested! [Above the Law]

This Texan judge served up a rather embarrassing benchslap. Check it out!

* Judicial benchslap catfight over administrative orders. Man, I didn’t think I could make the word “catfight” sound so unsexy, but there you go. [The Chief Jester] * Is it a federal crime to read Above the Law at work? If so, download the app. [Workplace Law Prof Blog] * Speaking of apps, te “App from Hell” would be more interesting if it were actually an app. But hiring Professor Dan Solove to teach your colleagues about privacy is still a good idea. [Teach Privacy] * A dean of the University of Ottawa Law School wrote an op-ed defending Canadian law schools (which aren’t even as bad as U.S. law schools). Remember when deans didn’t have to defend law schools because there were “jobs” for “new attorneys”? [Canadian Lawyer] * Here’s an article about Formula 1 racing that you don’t need Google translator to read. [Dealbook] * Bonus podcast! I mean, Lat did a podcast with the ABA Journal about bonuses, not that there’s a podcast you can listen to in order to get a bonus. [ABA Journal] * Bonus Lat! I mean, here’s a story about David Lat and the changing coverage of law firms and the legal profession. [Details]

Should "benchslap" be included in Black's Law Dictionary? And where did this delightful term originate?

* Chief Justice John Roberts gave a Solicitor General’s Office attorney a vicious tongue-lashing for failure to be upfront about policy changes between presidents. Now that’s what we’d call a verbal benchslap! [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* When asked if they’d be following Cravath’s bonuses, a dozen Am Law 100 firms didn’t even care to respond or discuss the matter. It seems the partners would rather keep their associates squirming with suspense a while longer. [Am Law Daily]

* Watch out, world, because Catholic University of America just hired a Biglaw senior partner to lead its law school. Say hello to Dean Daniel Attridge, formerly managing partner at the D.C. office of Kirkland & Ellis. [National Law Journal]

* A federal judge ordered tobacco companies to disclose in product warnings that they chemically induce smoking addictions to turn a profit, but those fools will keep puffing their cancer sticks anyway. [WSJ Law Blog]

* This just in from Flori-duh: you know you’re probably going to have a bad day in court when the judge won’t declare a mistrial even though the prosecutor technically wasn’t a member of the state Bar. [Miami Herald]

Here's how one federal judge decided to deal with a lawyer who was a little too verbose in his pleadings...

It's not too often that a state's high court sitting en banc will tell a fellow jurist to STFU...

Judge Richard Posner of the Seventh Circuit shares his thoughts on two recent law books. Warning: benchslaps ahead....

* Now they’re telling people NOT to go the highest-ranked law school possible? Does not compute… [The Careerist] * If Thelma and Louise had made it to their 70′s, they might look like this. By that I mean, running men over with their car for insurance money. [FindLaw] * “Hello, 911? Someone stole all my marijuana plants. Mm-hmm, yes, yes I do. You’ll send an officer over to help? Great, thank you!” [The Consumerist] * Buying a judge a bottle of wine and offering to settle your dispute privately doesn’t mean what this lawyer thought it meant. What does it actually mean? Sanctions. [South Florida Lawyer] * The overall SCOTUS docket is decreasing in size, but the number of IP cases is going up. I am smartphone, hear me roar. [SCOTUSblog]

Here is Judge Richard Posner's (delicately worded) response to Justice Scalia calling him a liar.

These British attorneys are going through divorce hell like you wouldn't believe...

Justice Scalia recently spoke before a packed house in New York -- and Above the Law was there to cover it. What did he have to say -- about Judge Richard Posner, among other things?

Justice Scalia tells us what he REALLY thinks of Judge Posner's controversial review of Reading Law, the new book by Justice Scalia and Professor Bryan Garner.

Chief Judge Robert Jones of the District of Nevada lashes back at Judge Stephen Reinhardt of the Ninth Circuit. It's a battle of the benchslaps...

Bryan Garner, the legal writing guru, comes to the aid of his co-author, Justice Antonin Scalia. Professor Garner is NOT happy with Judge Posner's review of Scalia and Garner's new book.

Judge Reinhardt is apparently not a fan of judicial "arrogance and assumption of power."

Is the sniping back and forth between Justice Scalia and Judge Posner personal? We reached out to both jurists for comment.

Chris Danzig attended closing arguments in Apple v. Samsung. The day did not disappoint, with stellar performances by top lawyers from Morrison & Foerster, Quinn Emanuel, and WilmerHale.

* “Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, and Nietzsche (figuratively) walk into the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Hilarity ensues.” [FindLaw] * The EPA gets benchslapped by the D.C. Circuit. [Instapundit] * What can law firms learn from… the Cheesecake Factory? Besides how to make people fat; Biglaw’s already great at that. [Adam Smith, Esq.] * If you enjoy gambling or legal hypotheticals, check this out. [Legal Blog Watch] * Professor Eugene Volokh examines the tricky tension between constitutionally protected speech and laws against blackmail. [Volokh Conspiracy] Professor Ann Althouse * Professor Howard Wasserman grades Representative Todd Akin’s apology for his “legitimate rape” remarks — and gives the congressman partial credit for “owning” it. [PrawfsBlawg] * Meanwhile, Professor Ann Althouse wonders: “Would the Democrats oust one of their own because he said one thing wrong?” [Althouse] * Don’t forget: tonight is the nomination deadline for our Lawyerly Lairs contest for the best law firm offices in America. [Above the Law] * Our commenting platform, Disqus, is having issues — which may explain why comments are mysteriously disappearing from the site. We apologize for the problem, which we are investigating. [Disqus]

Closing statements in Apple v. Samsung are tomorrow. How will this case affect the global smartphone market?