California

You’re a monster, LSAT Grinch! Which would-be law students will be affected by the missing LSAT answer sheets?

Which law schools (both in-state and out-of-state) did the best on the test, and which schools did the worst?

* It’s only been two weeks since Charlie Sheen’s HIV reveal, and the lawsuits are already starting to roll in. The actor’s ex-fiancée is suing him for big bucks and claims he failed to disclose his status to her before having unprotected sex, which is a felony in California. [Deadline]

* When you somehow avoid jail time by asserting an improbable “affluenza” defense after killing people in a drunk-driving wreck, it figures that your downfall comes via tweet. Start out your day by checking out the video of “ya boy ethan couch [allegedly] violating probation.” [Dallas Morning News]

* Remember the law prof who was banned from SUNY Buffalo Law’s campus for allegedly violating its workplace violence policy and then sued the former dean for defamation? A judge has recommended that the case be dismissed. [Buffalo News]

* Biglaw attorneys are descending upon the 21st annual Conference of the Parties (COP 21), because after all, they’ll be able to entertain clients with tales about the legalities of renewables to cut greenhouse gas emissions. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Law school admins are confident the number of applicants will increase, and while fee waivers still abound, pre-law students are expecting the cycle to be “competitive.” A pulse AND the ability to sign loan docs will now be required. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

What does the government have to say in defense of the allegedly tweeting judge?

Courts won't let you blame your 30-hour boner on your motorcycle.

Have a bar exam horror story? Please share it.

* There is life after a failed bar exam. Here’s how to make it through. [The Anxious Lawyer]

* Get the full breakdown of the results of the California bar exam. [Bar Exam Stats]

* “Mayor of Roanoke not racist, says Mayor of Roanoke,” and really, do you need a better source than that? [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* Ugh, the discovery of employee text messages — it’s gonna get messy. [Law and More]

* Get some *free* CLE credit for an online session on legal project management. [Practical Law]

* It sucks, but being too busy really does make you better at your job. [Daily Lawyer Tips]

Less than half of all test-takers passed the exam. Yikes!

Do you think this judge crossed the line in his use of social media?

This is why people hate lawyers.

* Steven Metro, an ex-managing clerk at Simpson Thacher who was accused of passing insider info about mergers and other business transactions to his law school buddy in a $5.6 million insider trading scheme, has pleaded guilty. He faces up to 20 years in prison. [Reuters]

* Remember Keila Ravelo, the Willkie Farr partner who allegedly stole millions from that firm and her prior firm, Hunton & Williams? It turns out her involvement in the $5.7 billion MasterCard/Visa antitrust settlement could ultimately become its kiss of death. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Chief Judge Morrison England (E.D. Cal.) says he and his colleagues are incredibly overworked, sometimes putting in more than 80 hours per week. It’s too bad it doesn’t make a difference — the court is at a “crisis point” in its backlog of cases. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Last summer, a federal judge ruled the death penalty was unconstitutional in California because an appeals process with the “slight possibility of death” was cruel and unusual. Here’s a real shocker: the Ninth Circuit overturned the decision. [New York Times]

* Embattled Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane is well past the point of having 99 problems, but there’s no end in sight. Former prosecutors have filed suit against her, alleging she retaliated against them for exposing her alleged criminal misdeeds. [Tribune-Review]

What is California hiding from the public?

* On Friday night, Judge Julie Kocurek, the presiding felony judge for Travis County, Texas, was shot outside her home. Her condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and some say that she may have been a target of retaliation. We may have more on this terrible news later today. [American-Statesman]

* Apparently it takes podcast stardom to get a post-conviction hearing these days: A Maryland judge has agreed to reopen the case against Adnan Syed, the man whose murder conviction received an in-depth look during the first season of “Serial.” [CNN]

* Per the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 700 jobs in October, bringing the industry to its highest level of employment all year. Don’t get too excited — we’re still a long way from reaching pre-recession era glory. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* It took almost 10 years without putting anyone to death, but California has finally proposed a one-drug alternative to its three-drug lethal injection protocol after it was struck down as unconstitutional in 2006. Was this worth the wait? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Following a much-deserved public excoriation from our very own Elie Mystal, Mizzou Law’s Student Bar Association has decided to do away with its absurd social media policy. In a media statement, the SBA even agreed that it was “poorly written.” [Huffington Post]

What does this case mean for medical marijuana defendants?

* Any day Cadwalader can avoid damages in a huge, multimillion-dollar malpractice case is a great day. Yesterday, the New York Court of Appeals dismissed a never-ending suit filed against the firm by a former client over a failed commercial mortgage-backed securitization. Phew! [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Say hello to Northwestern Pritzker Law: In case you missed it, Northwestern Law recently received a $100 million donation, the largest single gift ever made to a law school. For that much money, you’re damn right the school has a new name. [Chicago Tribune]

* This must’ve been a huge blow to his ego… U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara had to dismiss insider trading charges against seven defendants thanks to a Second Circuit decision that made it harder to prosecute certain financial crimes. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Charleston Law fired back against professors who sued the school by saying in its answer it wouldn’t be in such dire straits if they hadn’t “sabotaged the transfer of the school to InfiLaw.” Take that back, they did a good deed. [Charleston Regional Business Journal]

* “Sorry, not sorry, narcs,” says Judge Breyer. Earlier this week, a California judge informed the DEA that it needed to stop harshing medical marijuana patients’ mellows by shutting down medical pot dispensaries that were operating within state laws. [TIME]

* Brush that dirt off your shoulder: Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but this copyright lawsuit about his song “Big Pimpin'” is no longer one of them. The suit filed against the rap mogul in 2007 was dismissed on standing grounds, but the plaintiff says he plans to appeal. [Los Angeles Times]

* When it comes to the death penalty, Justice Antonin Scalia says that it “wouldn’t surprise [him]” if the Supreme Court were to strike it down as unconstitutional. It seems that a capital punishment case could become the next SCOTUS blockbuster. [CBS Minnesota]

* No one is a fan of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s in-house court system, and legislation to give financial defendants the right to opt out will be introduced in Congress later this week. Would you rather face trial before a federal judge or jury? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Earlier this week, a state-court judge brought a live grenade to the courthouse, but only because he wanted to have it properly disposed of by police. The jurist currently remains unidentified, which is a good thing, because this is pretty embarrassing. [CBS Los Angeles]

* Jurors in New York are paid $40 per day for their service, so you may be wondering how the confused members of the jury in the Dewey & LeBoeuf (mis)trial were able to survive on only $2,920 after five months spent in the courtroom. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

Just as ageism knows no age, neither does competency.

California is going to have one of the most comprehensive and complicated medical marijuana licensing regimes in the country, as marijuana law columnist Hilary Bricken explains.

Ed. note: In honor of Columbus Day (and Canadian Thanksgiving), Above the Law will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will be back in full force tomorrow. Stay tuned for today’s news!

* Who is Amy Berman Jackson? If you’ve been watching Jeopardy! lately, you’ve probably been trying to figure out which law firm reigning champion Matt Jackson works for as a paralegal. In the meantime, it’s worth noting that his mother is a D.D.C. federal judge. [Washington Post]

* Another SCOTUS term is upon us, and while Chief Justice Roberts tends to cast his votes on the issues through a conservative lens, there’s talk that he could be a “wildcard.” Hmm, perhaps Justice Kennedy will have a pal to swing with this year. [MSNBC]

* Choose your path wisely: Bloomberg Markets released its ranking of the 50 most influential people last week, and not a single practicing lawyer made the cut. Attorneys who chose career alternatives, however, made a killing. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Marcel Aubut, who recently resigned in disgrace from his position as Canadian Olympic Committee president after allegations of sexual harassment and inappropriate touching came to light, has also decided to leave his Biglaw firm and seek counseling. [NBC Sports]

* Late last week, California adopted an exacting digital privacy law that will require police to get warrants to access all manner of electronic information, from emails to texts to metadata. Please thank the Golden State for keeping your sexts safe. [WSJ Law Blog]

California has had enough of shady prosecutors and is taking action.