Cars

Biglaw

Morning Docket: 08.28.13

* After three years on top, Baker & McKenzie has lost its place as the top grossing firm in the Global 100. But which firm dethroned the once king? None other than… [Am Law Daily] * Today we celebrate the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s March on Washington, and yet some of the things he sought to change still remain the same in 2013. [Washington Post] * The house always wins: Navin Kumar Aggarwal, the ex-K&L Gates partner who stole client funds to pay gambling debts, was jailed after receiving a 12-year sentence. [Am Law Daily] * “This is like a triple-overtime win.” Merrill Lynch is making a huge $160 million payout in a racial bias case that’s been stuck in the courts for nearly a decade. [DealBook / New York Times] * As eager young law students return to school, maybe it’s time for you to consider brushing up on the basics. Now is an excellent time to take care of those pesky CLE requirements. [Corporate Counsel] * Husch Blackwell is teaming up with WUSTL Law to launch a training program for… partners. Take this for what is is, law students: a great opportunity to résumé bomb the hell out of them. [National Law Journal] * Career alternatives for attorneys: judicial drug mule. Following an investigation by the DEA, a former Utah judge pleaded guilty to the possession of enough Oxycodone to kill a small horse. [Salt Lake Tribune] * Don’t even think about texting anyone, ever again, in the state of New Jersey, especially if they might be driving, because the appeals court says you could be held liable for negligence. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)] * Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild has been sentenced to 270 days in jail and three years’ probation after being convicted of assault and false imprisonment by a jury of “stupid, stupid idiots.” [Los Angeles Times]

By Staci Zaretsky
8th Circuit

Non-Sequiturs: 08.16.13

* Chris Brown might buy his lawyer Mark Geragos a Lamborghini. Brown is quite an automotive expert. The upswinging doors make it sooo much easier to throw a girlfriend out of. [TMZ] * Politics is all about figurative whoring, but a county board has dumped its lawyer for soliciting a crack whore. Actually, maybe politics is literal whoring. [Badger Pundit] * Gourmand’s Grater, the kitchen product created by a former lawyer we mentioned a couple weeks ago, has opened its crowdfunding campaign. [Indie GoGo] * Finnegan is ditching its Belgium office and moving to London. How can a firm turn its back on a city classy enough to have a urinating child as a symbol? [The Lawyer] *Access online today’s nude dancing decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit. And you’re interested because this is the audience that went crazy for a post about a Playmate from 1994. [How Appealing] * Did you fall for the new U.S. News rankings? Silly readers. Paul Campos breaks down exactly how Rutgers-Newark gamed the system. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * In a New York state case, “[a] calendar call in the courthouse would require the clerk to shout out ‘JesusIsLord ChristIsKing’ or ‘Rejoice ChristIsKing.’” See, now THAT is a name that’s sacrilegious — not having a baby named Messiah. [NY Times] * Yet another reason students should steer clear of law school: most of them have no critical thinking or argumentation skills. [Huffington Post] * We’ve mentioned NYU Law grad and former S.D.N.Y. clerk Eli Northrup and his band Pants Velour before. Now they have a new jingle for Dial 7 car service. Check it out after the jump….

By Joe Patrice
Abortion

Morning Docket: 06.26.13

* “Screw all these other cases, man, we’re ready for the real stuff — you know… the gay stuff.” Damn, a satirical article that perfectly captures our thoughts. Don’t worry, it’s coming today. [The Onion] * On a more serious note, this is obviously a really big day for gay marriage at the Supreme Court. Will the justices settle the score, or leave this movement’s supporters high and dry? [Wall Street Journal] * Big Tech has always been a proponent of gay rights, and some of the most respected brands in America are hoping same-sex marriage doesn’t get the blue screen of death from SCOTUS. [Politico] * Everyone else loses, but Scalia always wins. He couldn’t have asked for more after Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act was struck down. So long, “racial entitlements.” [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times] * “No, we’re not going to do layoffs. We’d never do layoffs. Everything is just fine. Seriously, we won’t do stealth layoffs either. Promise! Believe us, pretty please,” said the managing partner of every peer Biglaw firm after the Weil winnowing. [Am Law Daily] * Law schools are freaking out about a new American Bar Association proposal to tighten their bar passage requirements, and they’re blaming all of their alarm on diversity issues. [National Law Journal] * This state senator wins the award for most unique filibuster attempt ever. To block new abortion regulations in Texas, Sen. Wendy Davis spoke endlessly for 11 hours straight. You go girl! [CNN] * Pop star Chris Brown was charged in a hit-and-run, and surprisingly, Rihanna had nothing to do with it. The new charges may affect his probation, and he might even go to jail. [Arts Beat / New York Times] * Breaking news, Aaron Hernandez was just taken into custody at his home. Discuss. [USA Today]

By Staci Zaretsky