Chief Judge Alex Kozinski
* A company is selling pork-laced bullets to “keep Islamics from going to Heaven.” Ever since Denny’s, they’re putting bacon in everything… [CBS Seattle]
* Justice Thomas is really terrible. This is probably why #UncleThomas is trending on Twitter. [Jezebel]
* A feminist critique of law reviews based on the Russell Crowe film, Gladiator. This sounds intriguing. [TaxProf Blog]
* If you wanted to know how the judge decided the audio expert issue in the Zimmerman trial, we’ve got you covered. If you wanted to know when attorney Don West will compile his collection of Greatest Opening Statement Jokes, we have no idea. [The Expert Institute]
* TNT has a new show dropping teams in Tasmania and forcing them to endure… a knockoff of The Amazing Race and Survivor. But an L.A.-based attorney is on this Friday trying to win $100,000, or what we used to call “a year-end bonus.” [TNT Newsroom]
* Ken White breaks down all the charges against Edward Snowden. To avoid these charges, Snowden is holed up in the transit zone of the Moscow airport, which I hear has a really terrible TGI Friday’s where Snowden will get to eat for the indefinite future. [Popehat]
* Anonymous Partner isn’t the only one with advice for summer associates. Here are tips from Grover Cleveland, author of Swimming Lessons for Baby Sharks (affiliate link), and Katherine Larkin-Wong, president of Ms. JD. [The Careerist]
* Chief Judge Alex Kozinski and Professor Nicholas Quinn Rosenkranz debate an upcoming Supreme Court case, Bond v. United States, concerning the treaty power. [Cato Institute]
It has long been the case in Hong Kong that most UK law firms and a very small minority of US law firms have three month notice periods for their US associates built into their employment contracts. But until about 18 months ago it was not common for any firm to enforce a three month notice period when a US associate left solo[…]
* Michigan will assume control of Detroit pursuant to the state’s controversial “Emergency Manager Law.” How controversial? Michigan voters went to the polls to repeal the law last year… and the legislature said no. There’s a fitting symmetry that a law that denies the democratic rights of the people exists only because the legislature trampled on the democratic rights of the people. [WXYZ]
* A Harvard Law grad opens an e-commerce lingerie startup. The hook for her bra business is in-home fittings. Perfect for the cross-dresser who hates prying eyes. [Forbes]
* Rutgers-Newark and Rutgers-Camden have announced that they will merge into a single law school named “Rutgers School of Law” effective Fall 2014. The new school accomplishes the important goal of removing the words “Newark” and “Camden” from promotional materials. [TaxProf Blog]
* Professor Eugene Kontorovich explains how Chief Judge Kozinski’s piracy ruling actually advanced the liberal causes of the Law of the Sea and expanding the scope of the Alien Tort Statute. Yeah, but it also doomed us to destruction if Captain Kirk can’t get his act together in this new timeline. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* The producers of The Bachelor may need better lawyers. After they settled a claim with blogger Reality Steve, barring him from contacting cast and crew for spoilers, he’s publishing spoilers again. Reality Steve’s defense? The settlement agreement was silent on the matter of cast and crew contacting him. Touché. Reality Steve wins a one-on-one this week. [IT-Lex.org]
* Sometimes you just need to call the other player’s bluff. Right-wing legislators in Utah loudly parroted talk-radio scripts calling for Utah to reject federal grant money. Democrats in Utah agreed and voted to reject federal grants. Then Republicans started to panic. [Utah Political Report]
* Jon Stewart calls for the drowning of legal journalist Peter Lattman for being a wizard. Video after the jump….
Chief Judge Kozinski identifies his favorite opinion, explains why he reads Playboy, offers tips for getting ahead in the legal profession, and warns you not to bring mom to your oral argument.
9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Dewey & LeBoeuf, H. Rodgin Cohen, Morning Docket, Pictures, Privacy, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Clerks, United Kingdom / Great Britain
* Come on, people, Dewey really think that it’s fair that these proposed partnership clawback settlements blame only us for the firm’s implosion? The Steves and ex-CFO Joel Sanders don’t think so. [Bloomberg]
* “[E]ven if partners’ capital contributions were used to repay Dewey’s indebtedness—so what?” Well, that’s certainly one way to defend a suit alleging Citibank’s participation in a Ponzi-like scheme. [Am Law Daily]
* A $280K bonus sure seems nice, but do all Supreme Court clerks choose life in Biglaw once they’ve completed their stints at the high court? As it turns out, the answer is no — some view the money as “golden handcuffs.” [Wall Street Journal]
* Because nobody can ogle these crown jewels except Prince William: the royals’ potential suit against Closer magazine over topless pics of Kate Middleton has turned into full-blown privacy proceeding. [New York Times]
* If you’re struggling in law school, it may be wise to take some advice from those who’ve been there before you, like SullCrom’s Rodge Cohen, the Ninth Circuit’s Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. [National Law Journal]
My father is a military man. Accordingly, all things in life, from mundane trips to the grocery store to complex life decisions like planning for and choosing a college, was subject to careful, deliberate planning. Digesting evidence and facts was a far better road than the proverbial “crossing of fingers” and trusting that “it will all work out for the best.” Former NYC mayor Rudolph Guiliani said it best when he announced that “Hope is not a strategy.”
I was reminded of this adage when reading a few industry reports compiling data points about corporate legal departments and the ever –increasing complexity of the regulatory environment. Here are some shockers:
* The ABA adopted a rule that law school data must not be “misleading.” That rule of course means nothing unless the ABA has the will to enforce it. [American Bar Association]
* Posner, gay porn, and the future of the internet. Oh yeah, you’re clicking on this link. [Hollywood Reporter]
* Some Penn State trustees are filing an appeal over their NCAA sanctions. Yeah, because we really want a higher power to take a closer look at PSU. [ESPN]
* Alex Kozinski kind of apologizes for the 9th Circuit judicial conference in Maui. Kind of. [9th Cir. via How Appealing]
* I was in the opening segment of the new Planet Mancow show with Erich “Mancow” Muller. Apparently, I’m the only guy who thinks an Escape from New York scenario where everybody is armed is a bad thing. [Planet Mancow]
* Media bias isn’t necessarily what you think it is. [The Atlantic]
* Vietnam is now getting on the right side of history. A song, played on a same sex saxophone. A gay man sound, a lesbian sound, a cry that tells us love isn’t just for heteros. It’s telling me, to hold your tight, and dance like homophobia makes no sense in the world. [WSJ Law Blog]
* If corporations are people, that means they also get to have religion. We can’t be too far away from social conservatives trying to ban same-industry corporate mergers. [The Atlantic]
* Yeah, what I really want to hear is a 0L giving advice about how to choose which law school to go to. [Huffington Post]
* Once again, Romney really seems to support some kind of government-mandated health insurance so long as he’s not talking to Americans while he’s running for President. [Wonkblog / Washington Post]
* Whistling at whales could be a crime, because you don’t want to encourage them. No, I’m not making a BBW joke. I’m talking about actual whales. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* So if we ban illegal immigrants from getting government assistance for an abortion, then aren’t we kind of supporting anchor babies? [Associated Press]
* Lat and friend model t-shirts designed by Chief Judge Alex Kozinski (for His Honor’s Romanian barbecue). [Twitter]
Some interesting observations about the October Term 2012 law clerks of the U.S. Supreme Court (plus updated clerk lists for OT 2012 and OT 2013).
2nd Circuit, 9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, Brett Kavanaugh, Clerkships, D.C. Circuit, Diarmuid O'Scannlain, Fabulosity, Federal Judges, Feeder Judges, Holidays and Seasons, Judicial Nominations, Munger Tolles & Olson, Parties, Pictures, Pierre Leval
Which circuit judge has the most former clerks who are now judges themselves? And how is Judge Kozinski spending the Memorial Day weekend?
Chief Judge Richard Cebull of Montana, the judge who sent around a racist and sexist email about Barack Obama and the president’s dead mother, has started the “damage control” process that will never really end. What steps has he taken to address the situation?
* John Edwards’s heart condition has improved, so his campaign finance trial will begin in April. Your heart condition would be more manageable, too, if you knew your sex tapes were going to be destroyed. [Bloomberg]
* Despite his love of all things fabulous (like peep-toe shoes), Proposition 8 plaintiffs don’t want Chief Judge Alex Kozinski to hear their arguments on an en banc panel of the Ninth Circuit. [Poliglot / Metro Weekly]
* Instead of filing a motion to dismiss like Cooley and NYLS, Florida Coastal School of Law has removed its law school lawsuit to federal court. Will this be the start of a new trend? [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* A witness claims that Dharun Ravi “appeared uncomfortable” because his roommate was gay — so uncomfortable that he allegedly set up a webcam to watch his intimate encounters. That makes sense. [CNN]
* Objection! Lindsay Lohan is hosting Saturday Night Live, but her lawyer had to approve all of her skits. What a shame. Bobby Moynihan would’ve been great as Judge Sautner. [Daily Dish / San Francisco Chronicle]
Whoa — did Chief Judge Kozinski of the Ninth Circuit just get reverse benchslapped? By a district court judge out of San Francisco?