Crime

Morning Docket: 02.11.13

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Justice never sleeps… except during Obama’s SOTU addresses.

* “You just sit there, looking stupid.” The justices of the Supreme Court aren’t required to show up and look like “potted plants” at the State of the Union address, but some of them do every year. [CNN]

* Well, thanks to the DOJ’s fraud lawsuit filed against ratings agency Standard & Poor’s, it’s starting to look a lot like a litigation gang bang up in here as far as the states are concerned. [Bloomberg]

* Dewey know whether D&L’s retirees are still kicking (legally speaking) or if they’ve decided to send their claims to hospice? We certainly do, and we’ll have more on this later. [Am Law Daily]

* That “death and taxes” thing may be true, but when you’re trying to navigate the U.S. tax code as a married same-sex couple and the government won’t even recognize your union, there’s an uncomfortable air of uncertainty. [New York Times]

* “Have we seceded already? The execution is faster than I thought.” Guess which state in the Deep South accidentally raised a Confederate battle flag over the building that houses its Supreme Court. [Clarion-Ledger]

* Mama said knock you out: if you’re trying to figure out how to get a job after graduating from New England Law School, moonlighting as a champion boxer will help you beat down the competition. [Boston Herald]

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ATL Field Trip: Viva Las Vegas

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Can you say Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (affiliate link)? I’ll be “fear,” given my generally anxious personality, and Elie can be “loathing,” since he’s so good at it.

Greetings from Sin City. Elie and I are in town for a debate we’re participating in tomorrow on the future of legal education. The debate will take place on Monday at noon in room 102 at UNLV Law School. The event is free and open to the public, and lunch will be provided, so please come if you can. Thanks to the Federalist Society and the American Constitution Society for co-sponsoring. (You can check out the event flyer here.)

While in Las Vegas, in addition to stimulating the local economy by losing money at craps and poker, I paid a visit to the site of a major Above the Law story: the alleged bird beheading that resulted in criminal charges for two Berkeley law students. Here are my observations and photographs….

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Quote of the Day: Diamonds Are a Convict’s Best Friend

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I did it to make me feel better about wearing it. I was quite proud of it. I like to bling things up, and wear blingy clothes and watches. It just matched my style.

– Rebecca Gallanagh, commenting on the $220 fine she was assessed after she decided to bedazzle her court-ordered ankle monitor. Gallanagh was forced to wear the device after being convicted of a public order offense for her participation in a bar brawl.

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Facebook Status Update of the Day: I Left Skadden For This?

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It sucks when your client is caught on video selling 99% pure meth to an undercover DEA agent. It sucks even more when he decides to turn in the kingpin in exchange for a shorter sentence, and the guy he names is also your client.

– An ex-Skadden lawyer turned criminal defense attorney.

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Punk Defendant Potpourri: Punching and Cursing in Court Will Get You Held in Contempt

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If you can’t laugh at these defendants, then you can’t be a defense attorney. Or a prosecutor, most likely. You could be a judge, though — a judge with no sense of humor.

We’ve got a couple of stories today about defendants behaving very badly in court. Hilariously badly. “I could have walked out of this courtroom, but now I’m going to jail for contempt,” badly.

Looking at these two stories together will allow us to analyze one important question about courthouse etiquette: is it worse to flip off a judge, or to physically assault an attorney?

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Breaking Bad at a Leading Law School: T14 Law Student Sentenced to Four Years for Meth Dealing

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A critically acclaimed television drama, Breaking Bad, tells the story of a high school chemistry teacher who turns to a life of crime: making and selling methamphetamine. The show’s premise suggests that criminals and drug dealers come from all walks of life.

That apparently includes the legal profession. Last night brought word of a promising young law student who just got sentenced to four years in federal prison after pleading guilty to selling meth. Better call Saul?

And this student didn’t turn to drug dealing because he was terrified about his post-graduation employment prospects. They were probably fairly bright, since he had an above-average GPA at a so-called top 14 or “T14″ law school….

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Prosecutor Shot and Killed Near Courthouse

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The crime scene.

Yesterday brought word of a law firm shooting in Phoenix in which a partner was injured. Today we have news of more gun violence, this time from Texas, resulting in the death of a prosecutor.

This morning, an assistant district attorney in Kaufman County, Texas, was shot and killed outside the courthouse. Assistant District Attorney Mark Hasse was on his way to misdemeanor court when he was ambushed by two men and gunned down.

The situation is still developing, but here’s what we know right now….

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Morning Docket: 01.31.13

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This is cool with the Ninth Circuit.

* Lanny Breuer finally announced his retirement from the DOJ. He’s going back to the private sector, and perhaps Covington and Jenner & Block will duel to see which firm gets dibs. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* You may be wondering if it’s ever constitutional to testify in a drug cartel case while wearing a disguise — namely, a mustache, a wig, and sunglasses. Behold, the Ninth Circuit’s opinion! [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* It may be a new year, but suing Biglaw firms never seems to get old. From Blank Rome to White & Case, here’s a thrilling roundup of all suits that have made waves in 2013, a “lawsuit-palooza,” if you will. [Am Law Daily]

* “We are going through a revolution in law with a time bomb on our admissions books.” The entire law school dream is continuing to swirl down the drain at warp speed, and the New York Times is on it! [New York Times]

* Is anyone actually surprised that every single one of Jerry Sandusky’s post-conviction motions was flat-out denied? If so, then it seems you may be in very serious need of a 1-800-REALITY check. [Legal Intelligencer]

* George Zimmerman’s attorney asked a judge to delay his client’s trial because he claims the prosecution is causing problems. Also, he’d kind of like to get paid, but that’s neither here nor there. [Orlando Sentinel]

* If you weren’t aware, there was a law firm office shooting in Arizona yesterday, and one of the wounded is Mark Hummels, a partner with Osborn Maledon. Best wishes for a very speedy recovery! [Arizona Republic]

* When they tell you stop writing when time is called during the bar exam, you STOP FREAKING WRITING when time is called on the bar exam — unless you don’t like bar admission, of course. [National Law Journal]

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UVA Law Grad Charged With Forcible Sodomy Allegedly Sodomized Second Victim During 1L Year

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Christopher J. Dumler

Another day, another round of allegations about a UVA Law grad behaving very, very badly — so badly, in fact, that criminal charges have been filed.

Back in October, we brought our readers news of Christopher Dumler, a “rising star” of Virginia’s Democratic party and a 2009 graduate of the law school that attracts flies like honey. At the time, we weren’t so much interested in Dumler’s political ambitions as we were in the allegations of forcible sodomy that he was facing. And now, just days before a preliminary hearing on that criminal charge, a second alleged victim has stepped forward with new accusations to stir the pot.

As it turns out, Dumler was allegedly sodomizing this victim during his 1L year of law school….

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Casey Anthony, Paralegal?

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From babies to binders: Casey Anthony, paralegal?

Why are celebrities drawn to the law like moths to the proverbial flame? Yesterday brought word of Katie Holmes contemplating law school. Today we hear that Casey Anthony, the young mother who was acquitted on charges of murdering her daughter Caylee, might become a paralegal.

It makes sense at a certain level. I previously predicted that Casey Anthony would graduate from Yale Law School, clerk for the Supreme Court, and then become partners with her former defense attorney, Jose Baez. But for the most hated woman in America to become a lawyer and law firm partner would create an unfathomable vortex of hatred.

Better for her to become a paralegal. Everyone loves — and lusts after — paralegals. See, e.g., Erin Brockovich.

So why would Casey Anthony make an excellent paralegal? Her lawyer explains….

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