DEA

Morning Docket: 01.23.13

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Sarah Jones: hot for teacher?

Ed. note: We apologize for getting such a late start today, but we were experiencing some technical difficulties. Thanks for being patient with us.

* Barack Obama made some bold statements about marriage equality in his inaugural address, but the jury is still out — literally — on whether he thinks laws banning same-sex couples from marrying are constitutional. [BuzzFeed]

* You can smoke pot for sh*ts and giggles in several states, but the D.C. Circuit is siding with the DEA on this one. Marijuana is still classified as a Schedule I drug in the eyes of the (federal) law. [National Law Journal]

* With claims of prejudicial evidence, Rajat Gupta is trying to get his insider trading conviction overturned. We’ll wait for more on this story from note passer field correspondent, Benula Bensam. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Here are some tips on how you can refine the résumé that will accompany your law school application — but make sure you get the accents aigus right, or else. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* “Why are all high school teachers freaks in the sacks?” Sarah Jones, the cheerleader-cum-sexy teacher, cried over phrases like that yesterday during testimony in her defamation case against The Dirty. [ESPN]

* George W. Huguely V, the UVA lacrosse bro who was convicted of killing his sometimes girlfriend, has got one hell of an appellate lawyer. Perhaps famous litigator Paul Clement is a friend of the family. [Bloomberg]

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The Greatest Single Election Quote Ever

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I’m sure there will be other contenders for the honor teased in the title, but I’m having a hard time thinking of one. Last night, voters went to the polls throughout the country and made their voices heard through the time-honored practice of waiting six hours in line until 1:30 a.m. As the results trickled in, candidates, elected officials, and pundits tossed out a number of pithy reactions, but one takes the cake.

Governor John Hickenlooper of Colorado responded to the state’s passage of a ballot measure legalizing marijuana with this gem:

Don’t break out the Cheetos or Goldfish too quickly.

Now I think Hickenlooper is criminally underselling Bugles, but this is pretty amazing. That’s a sitting United States governor tossing out a rejected line from a Cheech and Chong movie. I love modernity.

But why does Hickenlooper think we should hold on to our munchies?

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Morning Docket: 01.05.11

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Rahm Emanuel has reason to smile today.

* This Kentucky attorney is filing a new brief against the TSA, but not the kind that you’d expect. [Cincinnati Enquirer]

* There used to be a street in Chicago named after Rahm Emanuel, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rahm Emanuel and lives. [Clout Street / Chicago Tribune]

* Who wants to plug the hole with a grenade? The Jersey Supreme Court has got more drama than the Jersey Shore. [Wall Street Journal]

* If your “to do” list involves buying eggs and murdering your law school professor, you should really consider prioritizing your goals. [WJXT Jacksonville]

* Robert Half says lawyers will get a 4.1% salary increase in 2011, except for the lawyers who don’t. Um, thanks? [Boston Globe]

* Well, there’s a first time for everything. A DEA agent shot himself in the foot by literally shooting himself in the foot. [Washington Post]

* Instead of asking “Michael, are you okay? Are you okay, Michael?,” the King of Pop’s doctor, a heart surgeon, wanted to know if anyone knew CPR. [CNN]

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