Dewey & LeBoeuf

* An “America’s Next Top Model” contestant sued Tyra Banks, claiming she was disqualified from the title because Banks found out she had worked as an escort. You’re looking for people who can walk back and forth in heels over and over. Who did you think was trying out for the show? [Courthouse News Service]

* Dewey know which DLA Piper department head just declared personal bankruptcy? [New York Times]

* Coming soon to the hipster haven near you: the artisanal attorney. Hilarious satirical piece by John Frank Weaver. [McSweeney’s]

* Are you getting married? Are you planning to change your name? Huge mistake. The name part at least. Maybe the married part, I don’t know your deal. [The American Lawyer]

* The Onion surveys the reaction to the Columbia Law exam policy. [The Onion]

* You can’t force welfare recipients to get drug tests. Which was kind of obvious but still required a court to weigh in. [Pathologyblawg]

* A New York judge allegedly stroked his secretary’s face, forced her to give him hugs, and regaled her with explicit tales of sex with his mistress. [New York Post]

* There’s a wealth of information in this post about the ABA 509 Information Reports. Keith Lee does a year-over-year comparison of the top ten and bottom ten schools, looking for trends. [Associate’s Mind]

* A BC government official has revoked approval of a law school based upon a pledge to discriminate against “the gays.” [Trinity Western University]

* John Altorelli, the finance lawyer who allegedly had an affair with sexy Russian spy Anna Chapman, is indeed screwed — he’s the second former Dewey & LeBoeuf partner to file for personal bankruptcy in the wake of the firm’s collapse. [American Lawyer]

* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had a heart procedure on Wednesday, left the hospital yesterday and should be back on the bench on Monday. [CNN]

* Canada’s newest Supreme Court justice, Suzanne Cote, is no stranger to the spotlight; she’s worked on high-profile cases like the investigation into Justice Lori Douglas (of nude photo fame). [How Appealing]

* Michele Roberts, leading litigatrix and former Skadden partner, is settling into her new job as executive director of the National Basketball Players Association. [New York Times]

* Newly released deposition testimony from Bill Cosby will probably only worsen his PR woes. [Associated Press]

* Stuck in the office today with nothing to do? Take this fun exercise to test your punctuation and copy-editing skills, designed by Bryan A. Garner. [ABA Journal]

* “I think the court has to take a case now. This is their job.” It’s time to hurry up and wait: SCOTUS is running down the clock when it comes to taking a gay marriage case this Term. [National Law Journal]

* Zach Warren will be tried separately from the former leaders of D&L on criminal charges in the wake of the firm’s failure. Dewey think lawyers still care about him? [DealBook / New York Times]

* Good news, everyone! According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector added 300 jobs in October. This sure is exciting for the fraction of the class of 2014 that number represents. [Am Law Daily]

* A Long Island attorney requested that one of her trials be postponed during her high-risk pregnancy, but lawyers from the S.D.N.Y. allegedly “shouted at and insulted” her in response. Wow. 🙁 [New York Times]

* Since enrollment dropped off, law schools are competing to attract transfer students. Georgetown, for example, recently took more than 100 transfers — a 75 percent increase in two years. [Washington Post]

* Just because your state puff, puff, passed the vote to legalize smoking pot, it doesn’t mean you won’t be fired for doing it. Careful with your dope, unless you’d like to see your career go up in smoke. [CNN Money]

* “When a law firm is on a verge of insolvency, the last thing you want is for the most productive partners to leave.” The latest ruling in the Dewey & LeBoeuf case has Biglaw partners talking about “run[ning] for the exits.” [New York Law Journal]

* Oh mon dieu! Thanks to a botched French translation of an English press release, the Cote d’Ivoire Bar Association may file criminal proceedings against two Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe attorneys for fraud. [Am Law Daily]

* Michele Roberts, the former Skaddenite who’s now the first woman to lead the National Basketball Players Association, thinks women need to learn how to develop business. [National Law Journal]

* It seems that the dean of Brooklyn Law School has willingly signed up to be roasted by some of his students. This might be a bad decision on his part, but he’s a brave human being. [Brooklyn Daily Eagle]

* What’s the “right” number of law schools to apply to, and how can you figure out what the “right” number is for yourself? It’s magic, plain and simple. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Many lawyers may think that Biglaw is in recovery what with its record gross revenues and profits, but if you adjust the numbers for inflation, the overall picture looks pretty grim. Reality certainly does bite, folks. [American Lawyer]

* Please pay up and shut up: Alas, seven partners who sought to dismiss the clawback suits filed against them by failed firm Dewey & LeBoeuf’s bankruptcy liquidation trustee were denied in court this week. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Thomas Jefferson School of Law restructured its debt to avoid default, and now its dean has announced he doesn’t think the school’s enrollment will ever return to its former glory. Aww. [National Law Journal]

* Warren Gladders, the WUSTL Law grad turned bank robber, received 45 years in jail for his getaway shootout with the cops. It’ll run consecutively with his 24-year robbery sentence. [St. Louis Post Dispatch]

* The judge overseeing the Jodi Arias sentencing retrial made the unusual decision to bar the public from watching the testimony of the defense’s first witness. We’re now awaiting Nancy Grace’s anuerysm. [AP]

* The United States is launching air strikes against ISIS in Syria and Iraq, but some have been compelled to wonder whether it’s legal under international law. Of course it’s legal, under the Rule of ‘MERICA, F*CK YEAH! [BBC]

* Dewey know whether this failed firm’s former COO can get out of paying $9.3M to its bankruptcy trustee? Dewey know whether we’ll ever be able to stop using this pun? Sadly, the answer to both questions is no. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Marc Dreier of the defunct Dreier LLP has been ordered to testify in person in his firm’s bankruptcy case in Manhattan, but he’d rather stay in the comforts of his prison home in Minnesota. Aww. [Bloomberg]

* Dinesh D’Souza won’t have to do hard prison time for his campaign-finance violations. Instead, he’ll be spending eight months in a “community confinement center,” which sounds just peachy. [New York Times]

* Northwestern Law is launching a campaign to fundraise $150M to be spent on an endless supply of Chick-fil-A sandwiches financial aid for students and curriculum improvements. [National Law Journal]

* If you want to know why Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s summer was “really not fun,” it’s because she spent it reading a book about Justice Antonin Scalia and a book written by Justice John Paul Stevens. [Washington Whispers / U.S. News & World Report]

* “There is less money to pay everybody.” Corporations are shifting more and more of their legal work to their in-house lawyers, and some law firms — especially smaller ones — are feeling the financial squeeze. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If you’ve wanted to know what federal judges discuss during their bathroom breaks, stop wondering, because it’s not that exciting. All they talk about is their “stupid little trials,” and get overheard by jurors and forced into disclosures. [New York Daily News]

* Dewey know why the former leaders of this failed firm want their criminal indictment dismissed? It’s because the case is allegedly based on a “flagrant misunderstanding of the law.” [New York Law Journal]

* If you want to own a “piece of history,” Jodi Arias is auctioning off the glasses she wore during the first phase of her murder trial. She intends to donate the proceeds of the sale to (her own?) charity. [Daily Mail]

* Mathew Martoma, the former Harvard law student who fabricated his transcript when applying for clerkships, gets nine years in prison for insider trading. [DealBook / New York Times]

* If Bingham McCutchen moves forward on merger talks with Morgan Lewis, a bunch of Bingham partners might bail. [American Lawyer]

* Congratulations to Judge Jill Pryor, who will join Judge Bill Pryor on the Eleventh Circuit. [Fulton County Daily Report]

* Can you be fired for medical marijuana in Colorado, where the drug is legal even for recreational purposes? [ABA Journal]

* Dewey have some good news for the embattled ex-leaders of the defunct law firm? [New York Law Journal]

* Home Depot is the latest major retailer to be hit by a data breach. [Washington Post]

* Let’s get ready to rumble! Not wanting to be left out of the party, Oklahoma has also asked the Supreme Court to take a look at its same-sex marriage statute which was recently slapped down by the Tenth Circuit. [National Law Journal]

* Dewey know what financial restructuring adviser Joff Mitchell of Zolfo Cooper said to this failing firm’s partners right before it flopped for good? “Look, there is no way here to save this firm.” Ouch. That had to have sucked. [Forbes]

* The examiner who was appointed to monitor law firm billing for the City of Detroit’s bankruptcy is now questioning Dentons’ fees of up to $27K per month to talk to the press. Whoa there… [Detroit Free Press]

* Working Mother and Flex-Time Lawyers have released the latest ranking of the Top 50 Law Firms for Women. Vivia Chen feels “a bit dirty” after reading the list — and you probably should, too. [The Careerist]

* Leisure Suit Larry’s successors are here to stay for a while: Case Western Reserve Law’s co-interim deans will stay on in their current positions for the upcoming school year. [Crain’s Cleveland Business]

* Nothing demands a SWAT team like a 90-year-old woman. [Lowering the Bar] * Not so much legal, but here’s Princeton Review’s ranking of the best and worst colleges. If you’re looking for hard liquor, head to Iowa City. [TaxProf Blog] * Dewey know what Al Togut’s going to say about law firm bankruptcies. Yeah, I know, but we’re just going to keep riding this pun. [Forbes] * Corruption in New Orleans? Hold on, I need a second to let this sink in. [The Times-Picayune] * Be sure to come by on Wednesday to hear from a panel of general counsel about the transition to in-house work. [Above the Law] * The CFPB is cracking down on debt-collecting law firms. So if you’re a bottom-feeder, the government is coming for you. [Gawker]

* Yesterday afternoon, two of D&L’s former executives quietly settled a clawback suit filed by Alan Jacobs, the firm’s bankruptcy trustee. Dewey know how much Messrs. Sanders and DiCarmine had to pay the piper? [WSJ Law Blog]

* GrayRobinson is the latest firm to hop aboard the medical marijuana bandwagon by launching its own regulated products practice group. Lawyers will soon puff, puff, pass around those lovely billable hours. [Daily Business Review]

* Pain at the pump apparently extends to this gas giant’s résumé dumps. A suit alleging bias in ExxonMobil’s hiring moves forward thanks to the Illinois Human Rights Commission. [Washington Blade]

* Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg will be testifying against Paul Ceglia in court to prove that the alleged huckster faked a contract that claimed he owned more than half the company. Like. [Bloomberg]

* It seems that Kid Rock has been subpoenaed over a glass sex toy that was supposedly given to him by a former Insane Clown Posse employee. Kid Rock is probably thrilled to be in the news again. [MLive.com]

What protections do criminal defendants enjoy in New York state court that they don't get on the federal side?

What caused Dewey & LeBoeuf's downfall? This defendant says it was greed.

* Congrats to William Voge, who was elected as the new chairman of Latham & Watkins. He succeeds Robert Dell in this position, who is one of the Am Law 100′s longest-serving leaders. [Am Law Daily]

* Dewey’s former execs filed a motion to dismiss their criminal charges, lamenting the fact that the Manhattan DA made them “scapegoats” for the total failure of their firm. [DealBook / New York Times]

* A judge banned the Washington Redskins name from his court, proclaiming that the offensively monikered team shall be known only as “the Washington Team” in documents submitted. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid thinks that if it were up to Judge Judy, House Speaker John Boehner’s “show trial” suit against President Obama would be thrown out in “half a second.” Well then. [ABC News]

* A Michigan attorney was arraigned yesterday on a felony charge of homicide-solicitation of murder. It seems that the hired hitman warned his target. He’s not getting a good Yelp review. [UpNorthLive.com]

* If you’re an international student with a foreign law degree trying to get a law degree in the U.S., why the hell would you waste your money on a J.D.? Just get an LL.M. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Oh baby8: Nadya Suleman (formally doing business as Octomom) pleaded no contest to welfare fraud charges after she failed to report income from all of her public appearances and porn videos. [Reuters]

* Dewey think Joel Sanders and Steve DiCarmine, former head honchos of the failed firm D&L, have a friend in the District Attorney’s office? Even their opponents in their criminal case want their civil case stayed. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “They’re literally dancing in the streets in Cleveland.” Frederick Nance, Cleveland-based regional managing partner of Squire Patton Boggs and lawyer to King LeBron, couldn’t be more thrilled that his client is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hooray for hometown billables. [Am Law Daily]

* Tracy Morgan filed a lawsuit against Walmart over the fatal car wreck that killed his friend and left him with numerous broken bones. We suppose his injuries will prevent him from getting girls pregnant. [CNN]

* The NYLS grad who founded an imperiled cupcakery dropped enough Crumbs to lead investors to her rescue. Now the bakeshop has enough cash to make it through bankruptcy. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Fabulicious? Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewife of New Jersey who pleaded guilty to fraud charges last year, is awaiting sentencing of up to 27 months, but isn’t sure she regrets what she did. [New York Post]

* Alan Jacobs, Dewey’s bankruptcy trustee, says his clawback suit shouldn’t be stayed during the defendants’ criminal cases — after all, he doesn’t want their assets to dry up while they “scramble to defend themselves.” [New York Law Journal]

* Rengan Rajaratnam, Raj Rajaratnam’s little brother, was acquitted in his insider trading conspiracy case. It’s the first defeat in Preet Bharara’s financial crackdown against hedge funds. Tough break, dude. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Sore loser? Andrew J. Weinstock, the public defender who got into a fight with Judge John “I’ll Just Beat Your Ass” Murphy, resigned from his position in protest of the judge’s return to the bench. [WSJ Law Blog]

* There are many things nontraditional applicants should ask before going to law school, including, but not limited to, whether they’ll ever be able to find employment after graduation. [U.S. News & World Report]

* Oscar Pistorius’s attorney closed his defense of his client in the ongoing murder trial, and Judge Thokozile Masipa has adjourned all arguments in the controversial case until next month. [Bloomberg]

* The New York Court of Appeals put the hurt on defunct firms seeking unfinished business fees from former partners who left for greener pastures. Sorry, I didn’t follow ATL protocol: “Dewey think firms should collect unfinished business fees?” [Wall Street Journal Law Blog]

* We reported on the Tinder lawsuit yesterday. Here’s a collection of all the messed up texts involved. [Valleywag]

* Facebook’s lawyer is now calling the emotional manipulation study it recently conducted “customer service.” Dear Internet: Despite all your rage, you’re still just rats in a cage. [The Atlantic]

* So if you’re studying for the MPRE, blow jobs aren’t the preferred legal fee. [Legal Profession Blog]

* How did your last cell phone bill look? Because the FTC says T-Mobile knowingly added hundreds of millions of charges on. At least that girl in pink was cute, huh? [USA Today]

* BNP Paribas is confident it can pay its record fine. [Dealbook / New York Times]

* Meanwhile, Putin accused the U.S. of trying to use the BNP fine to blackmail France into turning its back on Russia. Because conspiracy theories are awesome. [Bloomberg]

* Lawsuit filed because right-wingers totally miffed that black people voted for a Republican. [Sun Herald (Mississippi)]

What are the latest allegations about Zachary Warren, the handsome and high-powered young lawyer facing criminal charges in the Dewey & LeBoeuf fraud case?

* They know where to find a deal: Justice Sonia Sotomayor ran into Hillary Clinton at Costco this weekend where the former secretary of state was hawking her book (affiliate link). It’s almost like this wasn’t arranged. [Huffington Post]

* “[T]his is my chance to do what I love and I am going to seize it!” Judge Randall Rader stepped down from his role as chief of the Federal Circuit less than a month ago following an ethics issue, and now he’s retiring for good. [Reuters]

* The government says that Zachary Warren’s prestigious legal accomplishments “left him well-able to understand the criminal nature of his conduct at Dewey.” Ouch, the People just turned it around on him. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “The reasons they have are the reasons they have.” The ex-dean of Indiana Tech Law quit his job weeks ago, but no one has any idea why. We guess he got out while the getting was still good. [Journal Gazette]

* Kenan Gay, the Charlotte Law student charged with murder after allegedly tossing a man into traffic, was acquitted. He graduated this spring. Nice work, but loans are still a life sentence, bro. [Charlotte Observer]

* It’s been 20 years since the O.J. Simpson case — aka the “trial of the century” — came to its dramatic conclusion. If you want to know what happened to all of the lawyers involved, we’ve got you covered. [CNN]

* The SCOTUS decision in the Pom Wonderful case could have serious repercussions in terms of deceptive labeling litigation under the Lanham Act. Even Justice Kennedy was misled! [Huffington Post]

* Dewey know when to WARN people? This failed firm apparently didn’t, and now it has to pay a $4.5 million class-action settlement to the employees it laid off without adequate notice. [WSJ Law Blog]

* After getting bumped out of the Am Law 100 after a 17-year run, Shook Hardy & Bacon is letting go of three floors of office space it “no longer needs.” Secretaries Paper takes up a lot of room! [Am Law Daily]

* Minutes after this career criminal was released from jail due to his accidental acquittal, he was stabbed to death with a steak knife. But for the jury’s crazy mistake, he would still be alive. Yikes. [Fresno Bee]

* LMU’s Duncan Law, perhaps better known as the little law school that couldn’t, is still trying to get ABA accreditation. At least this time they’ll be able to use law schools’ national decline as a scapegoat. [WBIR]