* The easiest way to stop James Holmes from becoming a celebrity and inspiring copycats is to stop trying to monetize the Aurora killings to turn a profit with ad revenue, but Professor David Kopel says it in more elegant terms. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Of course there’s a law school death watch list. Now, it would be nice to think that these law schools would shut down, but there are still people willing to fill the seats. You should’ve known better than to assume a silly thing like employment statistics would stop people from applying. [Legal Blog Watch]
* Divorce for men: it’s “not for women.” These family law practitioners may want to get together with Dr. Pepper for some kind of a licensing deal. [WSJ Law Blog]
* A pube sandwich is a very creative culinary treat — unfortunately, the recipe isn’t taught in sandwich artist school. FYI, the price to serve it to a police officer is $13,750. [Gothamist]
* The next time your husband complains about your sex life or lack thereof, just tell him that it’s against the law for married women to fornicate. Or that you’ve had a headache for the past few years. [Legal Juice]
When you join a cult alternative religion, it’s expected that you’re going to become accustomed to some rather unusual practices. And if that religion happens to be based upon science fiction books, well, you know that you’re going to be exposed to some crazy strange sh*t in all of life’s events. From marriage, to birth (of the silent variety), to divorce, to death, the Church of Scientology offers unique advice for its adherents to follow — advice that encourages Scientologists to abandon the legal system.
All hail the mighty Xenu, dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, who knows well the dangers of ridiculously high-priced legal bills. That’s why he isn’t a fan of modern-day divorce train wrecks. Take the recent filing between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes — not only will that cost a pretty penny to litigate, but it will bring shame upon L. Ron Hubbard’s religious dynasty.
That’s why if you absolutely must split with your spouse, Xenu will forgo the necessary funds for Scientology pamphlets used for recruiting new minions, and hook you up with your own in-house divorce attorney….
* Obama’s win for health care reform didn’t result in a polling bump for him, but it did result in an even higher disapproval rating for SCOTUS, at least as far as Republicans are concerned… [POLITCO; CBS News]
* … which may be why Chief Justice John Roberts escaped to “an impregnable island fortress” to avoid the Right’s fury, criticism, and scorn as soon as he could after the ACA opinion dropped. [New York Times]
* “[W]e have learned from the mistakes that were made.” That lesson only cost a few billion dollars. GlaxoSmithKline will pay $3B in the largest health-care fraud settlement in U.S. history. [Wall Street Journal]
* After losing a bid to quash a subpoena, Twitter has to turn over info about an #OWS protester’s tweets. OMG, please respond to that thing in 140 characters or less. [Bloomberg]
* Unlike most recent law school grads, Yale Law’s Vanessa Selbst hasn’t been hedging her bets in bar prep classes. Instead, she went all in, played her cards right, and won $244K at the World Series of Poker. [ESPN]
* Divorce really does bring out the best in people. Alec Baldwin says that if given the chance, he would murder his ex-wife Kim Basinger’s lawyer “with a baseball bat.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [New York Post]
For some women, designer shoes are like works of fine art. With soles that can warm any fashionista’s soul, designer shoes are things to be cherished, nay, worshipped. And if you’re wise, you already know better than to mess with a woman’s shoe collection — especially a woman whose million-dollar shoe fetish inspired her to brand her groin area with a red-soled Louboutin tattoo. But unfortunately, some men still haven’t gotten the memo.
In a hand that professional poker player Beth Shak probably wishes she hadn’t been dealt, her ex-husband has decided to go all in with claims made in a new lawsuit against her. Hedge fund manager Daniel Shak, of SHK Asset Management, isn’t hedging his bets when it comes to allegations that his ex-wife hid a costly collection of designer assets in a “secret room,” thereby shielding her from forking over the big bucks in their divorce settlement.
What does this pretty poker player’s ex-husband seek, and just how many pairs of shoes does Beth Shak own?
For most luxury shoppers, a trip to Neiman Marcus is the stuff that dreams are made of. After all, bags overflowing with designer merchandise can usually put a smile on any face, no matter the cost. But for others, such a shopping excursion just serves as a reminder of all the sex, lies, and betrayal that go hand-in-hand with a bitter divorce.
Because apparently when your husband stops in to buy hundreds of thousands of dollars in merchandise year after year, it’s essential for your former personal shopper to allegedly swipe his “credit card” — over, and over, and over again….
At least that’s what one divorcée in Texas is alleging. She filed suit against Neiman Marcus after the luxury retailer refused to take back $1.4 million worth of gifts that she attempted to return after discovering her ex-husband’s alleged affair….
I think a lot of normal men have been in this position: another guy says something horrible about your female friend or colleague, expecting that you will go along. It makes you very uncomfortable in the moment — because your knuckles stopped dragging on the pavement years ago. Then it makes you extremely uncomfortable later when you see the female friend or colleague, and you have to decide whether or not to tell her the horrible things being said about her by these other people.
It happens more than you think, and most of the times most guys just keep it to themselves. There’s no upside to telling a woman all of the things guys say, most of the time. But sometimes, ironically, especially when it happens in a professional context, you have to tell your female colleague what other professionals are saying about her, just so she’s not blindsided as she tries to go about her job.
Maybe some people would consider it a violation of the “bro code,” but one lawyer seems to think that the code is a viable defense in court. Sanctions are being sought against a divorce lawyer who has allegedly been saying horrible things about female lawyers, and when he got called out, he responded in court that he never said any of that stuff “to their faces.”
How far would you go, how much would you pay, in order to get your dog back?
One New York man is being forced to ask that question. He’s suing his ex-girlfriend to gain custody of his dog. She claims that he gave her the dog as a gift. He claims he left it with her when he was looking for a post-breakup apartment, and she absconded with it to California.
I claim pet custody issues should be handled in family court instead of like mere property cases….
If you’ve been representing someone in a knock-down, drag-out, decade-long divorce action, with no end in sight, it’s understandable that you’d be a little pissed off. And while some attorneys prefer to write “not so sincere” letters calling opposing counsel “a**holes,” others find more creative ways to channel their anger for the sake of poetic justice.
And while poetry may be the best way to make passive-aggressive complaints about your case, the next time you’re considering writing a four-page, 60-line email riffing on a classic holiday poem, you might want to consider your audience. Some people might not be fans of your rhyme scheme….
* In America, lawyers are pissing off state bar associations by offering their services on Groupon. En México, no es un problema. There, you can buy gift cards for the gift that keeps on giving… divorce! [Huffington Post]
* The billable hour may be far from dead, but last year, 61% of general counsel worked out alternative fee arrangements with outside counsel, including counsel from elite (read: Biglaw) firms. [Wall Street Journal]
* Dewey need to take lessons on revenge from this firm? John Altorelli, the D&L defector who spilled all the beans to the Am Law Daily, was blasted on Page Six this weekend. More on this to come later today. [New York Post]
* CHECK YOU LATERALS: recent Quinn Emanuel hires William Burck, Paul Brinkman, and Andrew Schapiro, as well as name partner John Quinn, have entered appearances on behalf of Megaupload. [Am Law Daily]
* Copyright infringement suits over porn downloading involving some 3,500 defendants were dismissed because the plaintiffs’ attorney, Terik Hasmi, couldn’t get it in legally in Florida. [National Law Journal]
* In England, there’s no such thing as a no-fault divorce, but instead, you can get one for “unreasonable behavior” — behavior like malicious service of tuna casserole, and speaking only in Klingon. [New York Times]
* This gives “I’m a Slave 4 U” some new meaning. Britney Spears’s fiancé, Jason Trawick, is trying to start their impending rocky marriage off on the right foot. He’ll soon be her co-conservator. [New York Daily News]
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