Dogs

Animal Law

Morning Docket: 10.08.13

* Say what you will about Justice Scalia, but the man is hilarious — more funny than his four liberal colleagues combined, according to a statistical analysis of oral argument recordings. [New York Times] * The government shutdown is slowing down the judicial confirmation process, already famous for its speed and efficiency. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times] * More about news for Steven Donziger in his long-running battle with Chevron. Maybe it’s time to surrender, Steve? I hear Ecuador is a great place to retire. [New York Law Journal] * Law firm merger mania continues, as Carlton Fields combines with Jorden Burt. [Carlton Fields (press release)] * Herbert Smith Freehills says “you’re hired” to Scott Balber, the lawyer for Donald Trump who got mocked by Bill Maher on national television. [The Lawyer] * You might see your dog as harmless and cuddly, but the law might see your dog as a weapon (and rightfully so, in my opinion). [New York Times via ABA Journal] * Congratulations to all the winners of the FT’s Innovative Lawyers awards. [Financial Times] * And congratulations to Heidi Wendel and Deirdre McEvoy, high-ranking government lawyers headed to Jones Day and Patterson Belknap, respectively. [New York Law Journal] * Today the Supreme Court will hear argument in McCutcheon v. FEC, a major campaign finance case that some are calling “the next Citizens United.” Check out an interview with one of the lawyers behind it, after the jump. [UCTV] Marty Lasden of California Lawyer magazine interviewed the severely conservative James Bopp Jr. for the “Legally Speaking” series (in which I previously participated). It appears this interview with Bopp took place before Bopp got bumped from the podium in favor of Erin Murphy, a young superstar of the Supreme Court bar.

By David Lat
Crime

Non-Sequiturs: 09.18.13

* A woman and her husband are charged with making dog porn, which is… well, it’s filming dogs having their way with the woman. So if you’re in North Carolina and get called for jury duty, that might be in your future. [Huffington Post Weird] * Instead of a gun fight over getting cut off in traffic or someone dissing a sports team, this Russian guy opened fire with rubber bullets over an argument about Immanuel Kant. Much more cultured over there. [Critical-Theory] * Gypsy family tries to pay bail with gold and the state judge cried foul, probably because he feared he was being… ugh. What followed was a thorough investigation of Romany culture. [New York Times] * Judges in Chicago have to comply with a small sampling of the demeaning security procedures everyone else has had to deal with for the last 12 years and they deal with it graciously throw an absolute bitchfit. I mean, their complaints are sound, but still… [Chicago Sun-Times] * Man held by authorities for peacefully protesting a photo enforced traffic light. Some things, like a guaranteed stream of city income, are too important to let free speech get in the way. [Autoblog] * A judge has ordered a new trial for the cops convicted of the Danziger Bridge slayings in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Among the reasons, the prosecutors were writing disparaging comments about the defendants on online comments sections. As if anyone takes internet commenters seriously. [The Times-Picayune] * Only a few more hours to register for this event featuring Kathy Ruemmler, counsel to President Obama, talking about women in law, leadership, and government. [Ms. JD]

By Joe Patrice
Benchslaps

Non-Sequiturs: 04.15.13

* Thoughts go out to all those in Boston. [CNN] * I hope you’ve all got your taxes finished. Here’s a fun fact: most tax cheats live in the South and the West. The two areas of the country filled with people who think taxes are evil cheat more? Go figure. [NBC News] * Remember, it’s not polite to say “thank you.” [Las Vegas Law Blog] * And now the rare, “self-benchslap.” [Associated Press] * A detailed look at how the Federalist Society became so powerful in American law schools. Unfortunately, it neglects the “they tend to order better pizzas for their events” gambit. [Chronicle of Higher Education] * Remember the new, depressing, public domain Happy Birthday song? The sponsor of that contest, WFMU, is at it again with a new contest to create modern, entertaining covers of public domain ditties. Despite my ragging on the birthday song, this is a pretty cool idea. [Free Music Archive] * Are you a young lawyer complaining about your lot in life? You’re at this site, so statistically you are. Well, quit your bitchin’! [Associate's Mind] * The Texas Supreme Court does not value emotional attachments to dogs. This is surprising because I can think of at least 10 country songs on this very point. [Law and More] * Mocking law school couples with a GIF from Veep? Get out of my head, UChiLawGo! [UChiLawGo] * Boob-induced failure. [Legal Juice]

By Joe Patrice
Constitutional Law

Non-Sequiturs: 01.23.13

* If you’ve been waiting for the definitive, Kashmir Hill, what in the hell is Catfishing article, here you go. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes] * Let me just say that societies that fully utilize the talents of women have an inherent advantage over the ones that don’t. With one rules change, we now have twice as many potential combat soldiers. Glory. [Daily Beast] * A “Good Samaritan” gun owner defended a little boy from pit bulls by shooting at the dogs who were mauling the little boy. Look, as a dad, can I just say that if you see some pit bulls attacking my son, please help… by running at the pit bulls and saying, “Git, git away from that boy,” not by shooting a freaking hand cannon towards my child! [Cato @ Liberty / Cato Institute] * Okay, who has standing to sue for a violation of the 27th Amendment? Who? I want this to happen. Come on, constitutional scholars. Make it happen. Let’s see who really cares about “all” the amendments, not just the ones that allow people to shoot each other. [The Note / ABC News] * I mean we’re suing over sandwiches, aren’t we? [Legal Blog Watch] * Slow your roll, NAACP. I’m pretty sure that the 14th Amendment doesn’t protect the rights of black people to become diabetic with oversized sugary drinks. [Gawker]

By Elie Mystal
Alan Dershowitz

Non-Sequiturs: 11.20.12

* Better late than never: congratulations to everyone who passed the New Jersey bar exam. You’re just in time to get in on some Sandy class-action litigation. [New Jersey Board of Bar Examiners] * Congratulations to all the honorees from the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association conference in D.C. last weekend — including, but not limited to, the Best Lawyers Under 40 awardees. [NAPABA] * And congrats to Professor Sherrilyn Ifill, incoming president and director-counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense & Educational Fund, Inc. [Concurring Opinions] * Does every bra made in America have Gloria Allred’s phone number sewn into it? [WSJ Law Blog] * Who is “Portfolio Manager A” in the latest major insider-trading scandal? [Dealbreaker] * You don’t need to be a dog lover to find these allegations abhorrent. [Alabama Live] * Want to avoid dating Democrats (or Republicans)? There’s an app — okay, two websites — for that. [Jezebel] * After the jump, Jeffrey Toobin and Alan Dershowitz discuss Obamacare…. Toobin is the author of The Oath (affiliate link). Dersowitz is the new owner of a $1.7 million Manhattan apartment. Their conversation took place last Friday, November 16, at the 92nd Street Y.

By David Lat
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 11.01.12.

* This seems like a high profile time to be named general counsel of the Red Cross. [Corporate Counsel] * JPMorgan sues whale. [Bloombereg Businessweek] * I cannot wait for the lawsuit this T-shirt cannon inspires. [Yahoo Sports] * A dog day at the Supreme Court. [National Law Journal] * The pledge of allegiance is under attack. Well, not the pledge exactly, they're just going after God. [Boston Globe] * You know, I get that the people without power are feeling like they're in a episode of Revolution right now, but Manhattan has ALWAYS been two cities: the haves and the people we haves step over on our way to having more. I feel bad for people living in Lower Manhattan who have been without their muffin cart for a couple of days... but not as bad as I feel for the poor schlep who will drag the muffin cart around for 12 hours a day every day until death. [Time]

By Elie Mystal