The Internet naturally devolves to Hitler references. Call it Godwin’s Law. Call it reductio ad hitlerum if you’re into the whole unnecessary use of Latin thing (and you’re lawyers, so you totally are). But with the advent of the Internet, Downfall video became inevitable.
And with bored lawyers seeking Internet-based distractions at their desks (or law library carrels), the legal Downfall video was even more inevitable.
Above the Law has linked to some of these before (for example here and here), but I figured I’d treat the readers to a collection of some of the finer videos here as part of my role as the editor covering the tech beat.
If you have others, link them in the comments. I’m sure someone out there in the middle of a two-week document review somewhere will appreciate it….
* What do Dolce & Gabbana have in common with Al Capone? No, not their impeccable fashion sense… [Fashionista]
* Keith Magness, the attorney accused of masturbating on his female colleague’s desk chair and dry cleaning, settled a lawsuit stemming from his allegedly unseemly behavior. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Eww, eww. Gross. Eww. [NOLA.com]
Earlier this week, a tipster sent us a link to a Greedy Associates post entitled “Why Do Lawyers Drink So Much?” My initial thought was “Ugh.” Honestly, somebody writes that article every three months, and every six months we have to write another version of the same story.
The reasons given for lawyer alcoholism are always the same. “Lawyers are only alcoholic because they’re super TYPE A badasses.” “Lawyers hate their jobs and drink to forget.” “It’s not the law that makes people alcoholics, it’s alcoholics who choose the law!”
I was going to ignore this latest Drunks and the Law story, but then the scotch in my coffee kicked in and I thought, “Hey, isn’t it just that lawyers drink because they can?”
Think about it: being a lawyer is a great job to have if you want to drink as much as possible while also having a job…
September wasn’t just a sloppy month for the drunken class of 2015, but for quite a few lawyers, too. It’s no coincidence that the majority of our candidates for this month’s competition earned their spots for their alleged escapades with alcohol.
Which attorney was allegedly so drunk that she bit an employee at an adult sex shop? Which attorney allegedly got so wasted that he didn’t even know he was missing a finger? And which attorney got tackled to the ground after allegedly trying to escape arrest for his third DUI?
Not just because a DUI attorney was arrested for a DUI — potentially his third DUI. That story would be cool, but a little trite.
No, what makes this story particularly fun is that the attorney was apprehended by a passing motorist as he allegedly tried to flee the scene of an accident. The Good Samaritan motorist got out of his car and chased down our attorney on foot, all while wearing flip-flops.
Oh, and I should mention that this particular DUI attorney has a YouTube ad where he doesn’t “speak,” but has some scary music, pictures, and a screen shot of his bio.
Today, we’ve got a tale for our readers about a lawyer from upstate New York who seems to be the epitome of a DUI defense lawyer’s worst nightmare. As the old saying goes, “the third time’s the charm,” but apparently when it comes to this guy and allegations of drinking and driving, the third time’s when you get caught with an alleged prostitute in your car.
Did we mention that the accused prostitute once starred in a reality television show, Wife Swap? That’s certainly not going to help this fellow keep the allegations under wraps….
As we mentioned in Morning Docket, Rick’s Cabaret has been served with a lawsuit alleging that the gentleman’s establishment over-served one of its patrons.
Of course, nobody would care about alleged over-serving if the guy had come home from the strip club and beat his wife. In the instant case, a man left Rick’s and drove around at 130 mph with no headlights on, eventually slamming into another car and killing a high school senior.
The driver, Erasmo Ramirez, survived the crash and is serving 15 years for intoxicated manslaughter. The family of the victim is suing Rick’s for its program that gives employees incentives for how many drinks they sell.
I know that you are shocked, shocked to find out that strip clubs want employees to get out there and sell drinks….
* Man busted for drunk driving in a toy car. I hope it’s still legal for me to get wasted and operate my remote control Grave Digger, or else my Saturday night is screwed! [Legal Juice]
* This is a good question: where does the Biglaw coffee come from? I’d also ask the question, “why does it always taste like s**t?” and “how come they serve it to you in thimbles?” Bottom line, back in the day, when secretaries or interns used to make the coffee, you could get coffee just the way you like it, not some generic crap from whatever minimum wage worker handles the machine in the firm cafeteria. [Law and More]
* What nannies need to know about Workers’ Compensation. OR: What expectant fathers wish nannies didn’t know about workers’ comp. [National Nannies]
* Gene patents may truly be capitalism at its worst. [WSJ Law Blog]
There are many ways that lawyers can advertise their services to the general public, such as television commercials and print ads in the telephone book. But entertaining lawyer billboards are a favorite of ours; they have generated excellent material for some of Above the Law’s own caption contests.
Apparently they’re also great fodder for marriage proposals, as one Texan proved this past weekend….
When it comes to celebrities’ run-ins with the law, their every step is scrutinized, and Lindsay Lohan was perhaps one of the most popular criminal defendants in recent times. All of Lohan’s transgressions were especially well-documented by the media, from transforming the courthouse into her own fashion runway to her questionable choices in nail art.
But when it came to allegations of wrongdoing committed by the judges presiding over Lohan’s DUI case, those went virtually ignored by the press — that is, until now. The Los Angeles Times has uncovered summaries of private discipline from the California Commission on Judicial Performance that very closely mirror the activities of two of Lohan’s judges — activities that aren’t very complimentary to the Beverly Hills judiciary….
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Things have changed recently in Korea – a few of our US and UK client firms are looking, very selectively, for a lateral US associate hire. Until just recently, there was not much hiring like this going on in Korea, since US and UK firms started opening offices there. We have already placed two US associates in Korea in the past month at top firms. Most of the hiring partners we work with in Korea do not actively work with other recruiters.
If you are a Korean fluent US associate in London, New York or another major US market, 2nd to 6th year, at a top 20 firm, with cap markets or M&A focus (or mix), or project finance background, and you are interested in lateraling to Korea to a top US or UK firm, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org. Our head of Asia, Evan Jowers, was just in Korea recently, and Evan and Robert Kinney will be in Korea in a few weeks. We are in the process of helping several firms open new offices in Korea (a number of which are interviewing our partner level candidates) and also helping existing offices there fill openings.
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