Flori-duh

Law school sued for letting people get drunk at its Barrister's Ball...

Gossipy prospective jurors scuttle a high-profile murder trial in Florida. Keep your mouths shut, people!

A Florida State 3L stands accused in the shooting of a Florida State 2L.

* Apple is considering digging its greasy Gorilla Glass hands into Twitter. How long until they unveil the iChirp and the iStupidDessertPic? [New York Times]
* I’m sorry your three-year-old shot you with your Glock. Perhaps the safety could be better, but perhaps you shouldn’t have left a loaded gun within reach of a toddler, either. [JD Journal]
* Mitt Romney hightailed it out of England as fast as he could. He spent Sunday at the Western Wall in Jerusalem. I don’t think it’s hard to guess what he was praying for. [Washington Post]
* Bad day: getting your hand bitten off by an alligator. Worse day: facing charges of “unlawful feeding” of said alligator. Do I even have to say this happened in Florida? [ABC News]
* In continuing stupid Olympic news, NBC has caught a bunch of flak for cutting a tribute to victims of terror attacks from its U.S. broadcast. Apparently the segment wasn’t “tailored for a U.S. audience.” Well, neither is Mr. Bean. And we handled that fine, right? [Gawker]
* I just got back from Alaska. I’m so excited to go back indoors and get back to my desk after flying around mountains and looking at stupid, ugly glaciers for a week. /Sarcasm. [Twitter]

* And now for some reflection on the just completed bar exam. [Fink or Swim] * Here’s another take on how long your hair should be at the office. Apparently it helps to not be stupid. [Sweet Hot Justice] * Yesterday’s New York thunderstorm had tragic consequences for an area lawyer. [Herald Sun] * I was on Red Eye on Fox last night/this morning. It’s the first plank in the platform I’m using to run for King of the Homeless. [Red Eye] * We also covered this ridiculous story about a high school student suing because he got a C+ in Chemistry. [ABC News] * Uh oh, Mitt Romney has angered Carl Lewis. Now I’m waiting for other relevant 80s athletes to weigh in. Can somebody tell me what Greg Louganis thinks about Romney’s comments? [Politico]

A Florida strip club is seeking an injunction against Octomom to prevent her from bumping and grinding on an alternative pole...

* Today’s court session is business as usual for SCOTUS, because the justices always seem to save the “best” for last. And now I’ll have that stupid Vanessa Williams song stuck in my head all day. Sorry if I got it stuck in yours, too. [National Law Journal (reg. req.)]

* Meanwhile, over at the White House, the air was thick with the sound of silence on the eve of the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Affordable Care Act. More than willing to bet that President Obama probably didn’t sleep too well last night. [Los Angeles Times]

* “If she dies and Romney wins, the Supreme Court will be the most conservative in history.” Oh, please. Stop giving Ruth Bader Ginsburg flak for being too old, and learn to respect your elders — she’ll quit (or she’ll croak) when she damn well feels like it. [New York Times]

* Peter Madoff will plead guilty to two federal charges at the end of the week. He’ll probably serve ten years in prison. In the long run, that’s nothing compared to big brother Bernie’s 150-year sentence. [Bloomberg]

* Reason #11ty-billion why we <3 Flori-duh: a judge rejected the DOJ's request to block Florida's voter purge, and Governor Rick Scott, of course, was pleased as punch, calling it a "common-sense decision." [POLITICO] * Megaupload wins again: a New Zealand court ruled that the search warrants used to raid Kim Dotcom’s mansion were illegal because they failed to “adequately describe the offenses to which they related.” [Reuters] * Loan debt will allegedly make you do some pretty crazy sh*t. Jason Bohn, the law school grad featured in an NYT article about the perils of law school, now stands accused of murdering his girlfriend. [New York Post] * The ABA Journal wants to know if you think your law school’s name and reputation affected your career path. Well, the first comment on my first post was “the what what school of where now,” so you tell me. [ABA Journal]

Professor claims he was fired for making jokes about shooting people. At least, we think they were just jokes...

* Yesterday, we talked about Professor Jonathan Turley being butthurt over the criticism he received from Ann Althouse and others. Today, Althouse responds. I'm keeping my powder dry till Thursday, when I will undoubtedly have a full mental breakdown as SCOTUS overturns a healthcare plan I didn't really like in the first place. [Althouse] * Woman gets raped. Woman gets morning after pill. Woman reports rape to police. Police arrest woman on outstanding, unrelated warrant. Warden confiscates pill because that's what Jesus would have wanted. Do I have to explicitly say this happened in Florida, or did I give you enough context clues? [The Daily Dolt] * Hedge fund manager who faked his own death has thoughts on famous murders. [Dealbreaker] * Some other ways for law firms to compete for clients beyond offering the lowest price. [What About Clients?] * I think if this Miami Heat owner insists on proceeding with this lawsuit, then we should all get to Champagne Bukkake him when he loses. [The Legal Satyricon] * Check out this awesome podcast I was on last night. Not only did I get progressively more drunk while taping, I think I also said that Roberts "isn't so bad" and then named my favorite Justice appointed by a Republican. [Recess Appointment]

Nadya Suleman (aka Octomom) may be facing an epic lawsuit, but to be honest, we’re surprised that it took this long for someone to threaten to sue her….

* Dewey know how deep in the red D&L’s international operations were? Enough to make you shout bloody hell and sacré bleu: the U.K. and Paris offices had liabilities of at least $175M. [Financial Times (reg. req.)]

* “To the extent that we the estate have claims, we would like to settle those claims sooner rather than later.” The joke’s on you if you thought you’d be able to keep your Dewey defector money. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* According to the allegations in former Cravath associate Ellen Pao’s sex discrimination suit against venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins, the “Mad Men” culture seems to be alive and well in Silicon Valley. [New York Times]

* Who will be the first to puff, puff, pass the vote — Obama or Romney? It looks like the path to the White House in Election 2012 might depend upon the legalization of marijuana in key states like Colorado. [Reuters]

* Apparently you can’t take the “duh” out of “Flori-duh” when it comes to voting laws without a fight in the courts. A federal judge has blocked portions of the Sunshine State’s “onerous” voter registration law. [Bloomberg]

* “People want to go to our school, and why should we say no?” Because they can’t get jobs? Northwestern Law is considering shrinking its class sizes; John Marshall Law, not so much. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Stop crying about coming in second in the U.S. News rankings, Harvard, because you can still brag about beating Yale in having the most-cited law review articles of all time… for now. [National Law Journal (reg. req.)]

* Gloria Allred is representing one of the Miami “zombie’s” girlfriends for reasons unknown. Maybe the zombie apocalypse is truly upon is and she saw an opportunity to stand up for undead women’s rights. [CBS Miami]

So what was that Casey Anthony case all about anyway? Here's a short primer.

Begging might not be free speech, but flashing your headlights is...

Remember the discovery dust-up involving Greenberg Traurig, which gave rise to contempt proceedings? The two-day hearing took place last week. What happened?

When it comes to depositions, we really thought that we had seen it all. But we've never seen an attorney drawing dick pics before...

Did we really need another Cooley Law campus? Based on enrollment, apparently we did.

* Aw, come on, Mort, Dewey really have to pay you $61M? In case you missed it last night, the only thing that made the former vice chairman’s departure memo dramatic was the insane amount that he claims he’s owed. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Congratulations to Jacqueline H. Nguyen on her confirmation to the Ninth Circuit. She’s the first Asian American woman to sit on a federal appellate court, so she’s earned our judicial diva title (in a good way). You go girl! [Los Angeles Times]

* Google might’ve infringed upon Oracle’s copyrights, but a jury couldn’t decide if it constituted fair use. Sorry, Judge Alsup, but with that kind of a decision, you can bet your ass that there’ll be an appeal. [New York Times]

* A Harvard Law professor has come to Elizabeth Warren’s defense, claiming that an alleged affirmative action advantage played no role in her hiring. And besides, even if it did, it only played 1/32 of a role. [Boston Herald]

* Classes at Cooley Law’s Tampa Bay campus began last night. Unsurprisingly, the inaugural class is double the size originally projected, because everyone wants to attend second-best school in the nation. [MLive.com]

* Albany Law will be having a three-day conference on the legal implications of the Civil War. This could be a little more exciting if presenters wore reenactment garb and did battle when it was over. [National Law Journal]

* Jury selection is underway in a second degree murder trial that will forever be known as the case where a defendant first raised the “Snooki Defense.” He didn’t kill his wife… but her spray tan did. [CBS Miami]

Lawyer defends himself by shooting wildly into the street. Only in Florida...

Here's a final story (for now) on the TD Bank / Greenberg Traurig controversy....

Is Greenberg Traurig getting a bum rap in the TD Bank litigation?