Florida Coastal School of Law

Mike Sorrentino

* Per the First Circuit, plaintiffs who successfully challenge the Defense of Marriage Act in court aren’t entitled to attorneys’ fees. The Department of Justice had no comment. [National Law Journal]

* Florida Coastal Law finished second-to-last in bar passage for the July 2014 exam, with 58% of grads passing. It was one of Florida Coastal’s worst performances to date. [Florida Times-Union]

* ASU Law got a $10M donation, its largest ever. “The remarkable thing about it is we didn’t ask him for it,” says the dean, which is a slightly better response than Drexel’s dean had. [The Republic]

* Much to his defense team’s chagrin, accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s trial will remain in Boston. The media spectacle is set to begin in January 2015. [New York Times]

* Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame was indicted on tax fraud charges to the tune of $8.9M. He pleaded not guilty yesterday afternoon. There aren’t tanning beds in jail. :( [Asbury Park Press]

In the class that Florida Coastal admitted in 2013, more than half the students were unlikely to ever pass the bar.

– Professor Paul Campos of Colorado Law, in a feature essay published by The Atlantic about the dangers of attending for-profit law schools like those owned by InfiLaw — namely Florida Coastal School of Law, Arizona Summit Law School, and Charlotte School of Law.

(Remember when a dean candidate was thrown out of Florida Coastal because he suggested the school was doing a disservice to its students? We’ve got his name. If you’re interested, keep reading to find out who he is.)

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The whole world has ground to a halt to watch the World Cup. Except of course in the United States, where the World Cup is mostly a curiosity to fill our days now that the NBA and NHL have finished their seasons.

Perhaps you’d pay closer attention if you had a guide to the teams that gave you a personal stake in a given squad. Without further ado, here’s an explanation of which law schools most closely resemble World Cup sides…

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Don Draper would be impressed with this one.

A law school that perennially gets the bottom-tier/unranked tag from U.S. News and has never been ranked by the ATL Top 50 — indeed, a strong contender in this year’s Worst Law School bracket — is billing itself to prospective students as a bona fide peer of schools like Duke, Northwestern, and even Yale.

You know what it takes to sell underachieving law schools? It takes brass balls.

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If you haven’t been following along, InfiLaw, proprietors of Florida Coastal School of Law, Charlotte School of Law, and Phoenix School of Law (scratch that — Arizona Summit Law School, because even the University of Phoenix would be offended at the implication that it was affiliated), embarked on an effort last year to purchase the flagging Charleston Law School.

And this raised the ire of students, faculty, even lawmakers. Now a committee of the Commission on Higher Education — the entity that must approve the sale — has voted to reject InfiLaw’s advances….

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A hallmark of horrible regimes everywhere is the insistence that everyone around them profess a deep and abiding faith that they are, in fact, super-awesome regimes. This is why Kim Jong-un has at least 35 laudatory epithets attached to his name and holds parades about how awesome it was that he sprayed the populace down with AXE Bodyspray. Or something. I’m a little shaky on the details because bad regimes make a point of keeping the truth out of the public eye.

At least one law school has taken a lesson from mid-20th century fascism and adopted a total blackout on the truth about the substandard results it’s been getting. A blackout so absolute that, while hosting a candidate for the open position of dean, the school reportedly asked the candidate to leave and threatened to call security when he or she brought up the fact that, “hey, enrollment is down and those jerks from Above the Law make fun of us for our terrible bar passage rate” at a faculty gathering.

Can’t let the proles hear that.

So let’s have some fun — which law school do you think it is?

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I am writing to share some great news about Florida Coastal School of Law’s latest bar passage results released this week. Out of the 11 law schools in the state, Coastal Law’s bar passage rate of 72.9% is ranked in the top 5…

Nicole C. Schumer, the Assistant Director of Admissions at Florida Coastal Law (an ATL March Madness Final Four school), struggling to find the positive.

Finishing 5th out of 11 is a solid “Gentleman’s ‘D'” for the jewel of the Infilaw crown, but Schumer is intent on slathering lipstick all over this pig by hailing it as a “top 5″ achievement. Let’s help her out. Out of 11 Florida law schools, Florida Coastal is Number 1 in graduate underemployment! Number 1!

(Keep reading to see the whole announcement.)

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If you had the correct Final Four in the NCAA Basketball Tournament, then congratulations… you’re a UConn fan. Or at least someone who pays so little attention to basketball that you picked UConn because you remember when the team was a juggernaut sometime in the past.

The ATL March Madness bracket also has an underdog rolling along. Is Liberty a school of destiny?

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Remember when George Mason made a run to the Final Four? Or when VCU climbed out of the play-in game to make it into the Final Four? Quick aside, are you tired of the CBS commentators pushing the whole “it’s not a play-in game, it’s the First Round” on us? It’s like CBS hired the inventor of the Cooley Rankings idea.

Anyway, like those exciting, underdog-dominated tournaments, it looks like we’ve got a bottom-seeded team charging all the way into the Elite Eight in our humble ATL bracket. How crazy is that?

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Basketball’s March Madness provided a string of dramatic upsets over the weekend. The Above the Law editors lost their alma maters over the weekend, and all of us slipped out of the Warren Buffett billion-dollar-bracket pool. It was all sad. But nothing warms the heart more than a CBS reaction shot to crying Duke bros.

Did ATL’s annual tournament provide similar fireworks?

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