Food
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5th Circuit, 9/11, Abortion, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Food, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Prostitution, SCOTUS, Sex, Sex Scandals, Student Loans, Supreme Court, Texas
Morning Docket: 05.07.12
* While Dewey’s former culture gets roasted on a spit, and the seemingly unending drama gets turned into a montage of living lawyer jokes, we’re still waiting for the final punchline. [New York Times; Wall Street Journal]
* Don Verrilli tried so hard, and got so far (depending on who you ask), but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. When Linkin Park lyrics apply to your oral argument skills, you know you’re kind of screwed. [New York Times]
* The 9/11 arraignments went off without a hitch this weekend. And by that, we mean that it was a 13 hour hearing filled multiple interruptions, and grandstanding about “appropriate” courtroom fashion. [Fox News]
* In a “re-re-reversal,” Judge Jerry Smith, on a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit, reinstated Planned Parenthood’s injunction against Texas, without even so much as a homework assignment. [Dallas Observer]
* The It Gets Worse Project: if you thought that the Law School Transparency debt figures were scary before, then take a look at them now. Six figures of debt just got a lot harder to swallow. [National Law Journal]
* Scalia gets busted on a case of hot-dog hooking. No, not that Scalia. A woman from Long Island has been accused, for the second time, of selling swallowing foot-longs in the back of her food truck. [New York Post]
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Food, In-House Counsel, Labor / Employment, Lawsuit of the Day, Rudeness
Lawsuit of the Day: This General Counsel Is Allegedly A Teabag-Throwing Terror
A secretary is suing her former boss, an in-house attorney who gives terrible bosses a bad name… - Sponsored
Early Adopters Of Legal AI Gaining Competitive Edge In Marketplace
How to best leverage generative AI as an early adopter with ethical use. -
Art, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Dissolution, ERISA, Food, Health Care / Medicine, Holland & Knight, JPMorgan Chase, Lateral Moves, Money, Musical Chairs, Partner Issues
Dewey Know What's Going To Happen Next? Lawyers and Staff Face Uncertain Future
What is the latest news and rumor about Dewey & LeBoeuf? Not good, for starters....
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Biglaw, Deaths, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Food, John Edwards, Law Schools, Morning Docket, New Jersey, Shoes, Trademarks, Trials
Morning Docket: 05.01.12
* Dewey really need to keep coming up with punny headlines about D&L’s painful probe? Pass the lube, ’cause you better believe we dew! Steven Davis, the firm’s former chairman, has hired Barry Bohrer, a white-collar criminal lawyer. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “Of course all of that money for my baby mama is legal. I… uh… checked with my lawyers. Um, yeah. Just get the money in.” Cheri Young gave some pretty damning testimony yesterday during the John Edwards campaign-finance violations trial. [CNN]
* As if you didn’t have enough to worry about during finals, Law School Transparency has come out with a new clearinghouse that includes employment outcomes, salaries, and student debt loads. [National Law Journal]
* “I do not own a color. I own a specific color in a specific place.” Christian Louboutin was seeing red when he responded to interview questions over his trademark infringement suit against Yves Saint Laurent. [Fox News]
* Remember that Nutella class action suit? Ferrero settled, and you can cash in if you bought their delicious hazelnut crack during the relevant time period. Needless to say, they owe me $20. [American Thinker]
* Richard Bellman, the lawyer behind New Jersey’s “Mount Laurel doctrine,” RIP. [New York Times]
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Airplanes / Aviation, Biglaw, Death Penalty, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Drugs, Food, Morning Docket, Nude Dancing, Wal-Mart
Morning Docket: 04.26.12
* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters]
* Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News]
* As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg]
* As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN]
* Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]
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Bad Ideas, Biglaw, Feminism, Food, Gender, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Women's Issues
Ladies, It's Time to Get Back in the Kitchen Where You Belong
Nothing says “I’m a successful attorney” quite like the ability to serve masterfully-prepared hors d’oeuvres (bonus points if the cooking is done while barefoot and/or pregnant). -
Bail, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Fast Food, Food, Insider Trading, Intellectual Property, Morning Docket, Pornography, Prostitution, Trademarks
Morning Docket: 04.20.12
* George Zimmerman will appear before Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. today to request bail. What kind of evidence will the prosecutor have to present for bond to be denied? [Miami Herald]
* Should prostitution be legalized? 70% of our readers think it should be (and not just because it’d mean they’d be employed nine months after graduation). But let’s get some more input from others on this topic. [Room for Debate / New York Times]
* “Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.” Rajabba the Hut seems to have had a second Goldman Sachs tipper. Say hello to Rajat Gupta, who has pleaded not guilty. [Bloomberg]
* Counsel in the Gucci v. Guess trademark case wrapped up their closing arguments in court yesterday. It’s generally not a good thing when the judge interrupts you to question your late filing. [Businessweek]
* Uh, apparently there’s a legal battle concerning intellectual property having to do with a Three Stooges porn parody. I personally shudder to think of how Curly is portrayed. [Hollywood, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter]
* After taking a blow from that fake beef lawsuit, Taco Bell’s sales are up thanks to its Doritos taco. Because getting your fingers covered in orange crap totally makes up for the “taco meat filling.” [Washington Post]
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Attorney Misconduct, Baseball, Fast Food, Food, Legal Ethics, LSAT, Money, Morning Docket, New Orleans, Sex, Television, Trials
Morning Docket: 04.19.12
* Judge Jessica Recksiedler has disqualified herself from overseeing George Zimmerman’s murder trial. Stepping up to fill in as ringmaster for this media circus is Judge Kenneth R. Lester Jr. [Washington Post]
* Oh joy, new fee hikes associated with law school! Administrations of the LSAT are going down, down, down, so of course the price to take the test no one wants to take anymore is going up, up, up. [National Law Journal]
* Trying to win at all costs has its consequences. Just ask the New Orleans prosecutors who are now facing bar complaints for allegedly railroading defendants into harsh convictions. [Slate Magazine]
* Hopefully this lawsuit’s descriptions of the rotten chicken that was allegedly served to customers are enough to make you never eat at Kentucky Fried Salmonella again. [Huffington Post]
* “Housekeeping, you want me jerk you off?” Ex-MLB player and housekeeper aficionado Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to 270 days in jail after a conviction for lewd conduct and assault. [Bloomberg]
* Instead of gold, everything Charlie Sheen touches turns into a lawsuit. The producer for his FX comeback series, “Anger Management,” has been sued by another show producer for $50M. [New York Daily News]
* G’day, mates! This just in: if you’re on a business trip down under, you’re entitled to workers’ compensation for any sexual injuries that may occur “during the course of employment.” [Daily Telegraph]
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Is The Future Of Law Distributed? Lessons From The Tech Adoption Curve
The rise of remote work has dramatically reshaped the relationship between Lawyers and Law Firms, see how Scale LLP has taken the steps to get… -
Animal Law, Food, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Technology, Women's Issues
Non-Sequiturs: 04.18.12
* I will never feel bad about making a typo ever again. [WSJ Law Blog] * Hey law school students, get your hack on! [Huffington Post] * Ann Romney doesn’t want to hear it, but there is a difference between working and working a paying job. [The Careerist] * Should lawyers try journalism? I mean, sure. The job market in the industry is similarly crummy, and journalists make way less money than everyone except baristas and document reviewers. But it is a fun time, and it seems like most lawyers were journalism majors anyway. Go for it… [ Law and More] * The Romney camp drops a bomb: Obama had a dog as a kid. Oh, wait. I misread that. Obama ate dog as a kid. Clearly, people who didn’t have the moral fortitude at six years old to reject the food their parents gave them are unfit to be president. [New York Post] * Man, the presidential race is just at an apex of intellectualism today. Voters in Iowa just received a fundraising letter from Rick Santorum (who dropped out of the race, in case you just got out of prison), in which he wrote that Mitt Romney “truly frightens” him. Congratulations Rick, now you know how the rest of us felt about you. [ABC News] * If you haven’t reserved your .xxx domain name yet, there is still time. They ain’t cheap, but I’m pretty sure ElieMystal.xxx is still available. Hell, who am I kidding. BikeDudeRomance.xxx probably is too. [Law Technology News] -
Barack Obama, Biglaw, California, Department of Justice, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Eric Holder, Facebook, Fast Food, Food, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Texas
Morning Docket: 04.05.12
* “I think that you know what the president said … was appropriate.” While the DOJ scrambles to meet Judge Smith’s memo deadline, Attorney General Eric Holder is busy defending Obama’s con law faux pas. [CNN]
* Six more partners have fled from Dewey & LeBoeuf, bringing the grand total of partner defections to at least 46 since January. Good Lord, somebody needs to get this firm a freakin’ tourniquet. [Wall Street Journal]
* Facebook filed a motion to dismiss Paul Ceglia’s ownership claims, but he isn’t going anywhere soon. Ceglia’s got two months to submit expert reports as to the authenticity of his fake contract. [Associated Press]
* Joe Jamail, America’s richest practicing lawyer, donated his $3M law library to TSU’s Thurgood Marshall School of Law. Now students can learn more so they don’t have to sue over being graded on a curve. [Fox]
* McDonald’s doesn’t have to worry about its G-rated Happy Meal toys in California anymore. It’s that XXX-rated lawsuit over a former employee’s “Filet-O-Fish” that the company’s really got to keep an eye on. [Reuters]
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7th Circuit, Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Food, Nauseating Things, Quote of the Day, Richard Posner
Quote of the Day: Hopefully He Doesn't Know From Personal Experience
Judge Posner analyzes nutriloaf and the unpleasantness of anal fissures.... -
Fast Food, Food, Lawsuit of the Day, Prostitution
Lawsuit of the Day: McDonald's Turned Me Into a Hooker
Oral sex hasn’t made it to the Dollar Menu just yet. Instead, we have news of a woman who’s filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s, alleging that the billion-dollar burger bordello played a part in turning her into a prostitute.... -
Bad Ideas, Food, Law Schools, LLMs, Student Loans
Law School Contemplates Offering Dumbest LL.M. Ever
Law school reaches a new level of uselessness....
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Early Adopters Of Legal AI Gaining Competitive Edge In Marketplace
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The Business Case For AI At Your Law Firm
Is The Future Of Law Distributed? Lessons From The Tech Adoption Curve
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Biglaw, Fast Food, Food, Kenyon & Kenyon, Lawyerly Lairs, Nauseating Things, Rankings, White & Case
Biglaw's Best -- and Buggiest -- Cafeterias
Which major New York law firms have the greatest - and the grossest - cafeterias? -
Food, Law Schools, Vermin / Rodents / Pests
Mice-Infested Law School in NYC
A New York area law school is having some problems with basic campus maintenance.... -
Associate Bonus Watch 2011, Biglaw, Bonuses, Fast Food, Food, Money
Spring Bonuses at Cravath?
Are Cravath associates now getting spring bonuses? What gives? -
Crime, Email Scandals, Food, Law Schools, Nauseating Things, Ridiculousness
Law School Lunch Drama Continues -- From Coast To Coast
Over the last month, we have continued receiving tips from law schools across the country about Hansen's soda heartbreak and the adventures of a refrigerator warrior. Today, we have a round-up of the most recent law school lunch wars, courtesy of UC Davis Law, Cornell Law School, Iowa Law, and of the University of Cincinnati College of Law… -
Biglaw, Deaths, Federal Judges, Food, Law Professors, Money, Morning Docket, Privacy, SCOTUS, Stephen Breyer, Suicide, Supreme Court, Television
Morning Docket: 02.21.12
* Vedel Browne has been charged in the machete robbery of Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. He faces up to 20 years if convicted, and with that sentence, we’re betting he wishes he got away with more than $1,000. [CNN] * ¡Viva México! These days, Mexico’s got more than just drug cartels, violence, and prison […]
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Food, Lawsuit of the Day
Lawsuit of the Day: How Many Synthetic Genes Can Be in an 'All-Natural' Snack?
As close readers of Above the Law will guess, I only go to Whole Foods when I feel like mocking the pasty vegans who are too emaciated to defend themselves. We live in a modern world of delicious processed foodstuffs. People ate “organic” or “all natural” food back in hunter-gatherer times, right before they died […] -
Biglaw, Chadbourne & Parke, Food, Money, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Real Estate, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Weddings
Morning Docket: 01.30.12
* People like it when the members of the Supreme Court agree with each other, except when the justices forget to tell them exactly what to do. Poor sheeple. [Washington Post] * If you’re wondering why you can’t get a Biglaw job, it’s because the firms don’t need you. Well, they probably do, but definitely […]