* SLU Law clinic threatens to sue the city of St. Louis if they try and shell out public dollars to keep the Rams in town. I’d sue if I had to watch the Rams every week too. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
* How many law school applicants do we expect for the Fall? [The Faculty Lounge]
* The TL;DR here is that Elizabeth Wurtzel wants to be noticed. Double f**king newsflash. [Jezebel]
* A spirited debate on where the FISA court went wrong. The crux of the argument is [REDACTED]. [Lawfare]
* We’re not above telling the good stories from time to time. Like this kid who went from homeless to NYU Law grad. [Patch]
* Lawyer suspended for sexual conduct with a 17-year-old and blogging. Thankfully, not blogging about the sex. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Jeopardy! gets a legal response when it wanted a science answer. [YouTube]
Frankly, the question (answer?) is kind of bulls**t. Consent is something that gets legislated and I’ve seen Game of Thrones — those ages sound about right for that world. On the other hand, puberty is something that just happens. Unless you’re a gymnast.
Wherein “murder charges” are different from “football games.”
Can you tell the difference between actual CLE courses and ones we’ve just made up? Take our challenge and find out! Whatever the nature of your practice, our friends at Knowledge in Practice can help you navigate your options and find the CLE that works for you.
Just because the NFL has not played a game in months does not mean we can’t talk a little football.
What is the proper amount of time that one should stand accused of beating off in public?
* Pretty significant typo… [Legal Cheek]
* King v. Burwell plaintiffs’ attorney Michael Carvin of Jones Day has some interesting things to say about Obamacare. Like being sure to characterize the law as the product “by living white women and minorities,” which in some circles constitutes throwing shade. Racist circles. [Talking Points Memo]
* South Carolina makes its potential magistrate judges take the same Wonderlic test given to potential NFL draft picks. The justice system is even based on football down there. I assume occasionally they’ll let a defendant think they’ll get off and then give him the chair and the jury yells, “CLEMSON!” [Lowering the Bar]
* We take a break from our regularly scheduled NS segment, “Louisiana Seems Crazy,” to bring you a great idea out of Louisiana. Effective May 1, lawyers can earn their CLE hours by doing pro bono work. Brilliant. More substantive legal work to fill a huge need and less garbled streaming video. [New Orleans City Business]
* OK now back to regularly scheduled programming: arrest warrant issued for New Orleans lawyer accused of intentionally triggering a mistrial by refusing to participate in jury selection. I think Perry Mason did that once. It was one of the more obscure episodes. [Nola]
* Leave it to the people who wield the awesome punitive power of the state to be the first to give themselves a get out of jail free card. [USA Today]
* Richard Hsu scores an interview with Jon Lindsey of legal recruiting firm Major, Lindsey & Africa. Apparently, the busy founding partner Lindsey really knows how to juggle things. Literally. [Hsu Untied]
* History buffs out there may recall that Emperor Augustus instituted a bunch of moral reforms during his reign that really only succeeded in revealing that his daughter was a total whore. But what if the Emperor’s prude rules actually helped solidify his broader goals? [Law & Humanities Blog]
* Amal Clooney, the attorney who tamed George Clooney’s heart and is now considered one of the most famous human rights lawyers in the world, will be teaching at a New York law school this spring. Which one? We’ll have more on this fun news later today. [USA Today]
* Talk about a Hail Mary play: The ACLU has decided to come to the defense of a very unlikely cause. Per a recently filed federal brief, the organization thinks that the USPTO’s cancellation of the Redskins trademark was unconstitutional. [WSJ Law Blog]
* According to a new BARBRI study, the vast majority of third-year law students think they’re ready to go when it comes to practicing law, but the lawyers who have had the (dis)pleasure to work with new graduates don’t seem to agree. [National Law Journal]
* “Those kinds of jobs are never going to be enough to absorb the number of people graduating from law school over the next five or 10 years.” Northeastern’s dean laughs in Biglaw’s face — his grads measure their success in other ways. [Boston Business Journal]
* Ellen Pao’s “racy” gender discrimination lawsuit against Kleiner Perkins serves as a harsh criticism of the sexist culture of Silicon Valley. Luckily, jury members will be able to busy themselves with the case’s more lurid details. [The Upshot / New York Times]
* Kyle McEntee of Law School Transparency is working on a new podcast that will help prospective law students to see what working in the legal profession is really like. “I Am The Law” debuted in January 2015, and it’s worth a listen. [U.S. News & World Report]
It may be true that people get the leaders they deserve. But it’s equally true that no one, not even Joe Flacco, deserves this.
We asked 850 attorneys and students how they choose a bar prep provider. Check out the answers here.
* Did you want a Saul Goodman cake for your next party? Because it’s a thing. Do they make Bunsen burner candles? [Legal Cheek]
* I’m not shy about my love-hate relationship with college athletics. It’s time for more of the hate side: the NCAA cracked down on Baylor walk-on Silas Nacita for accepting benefits deemed improper… WHILE HE WAS HOMELESS! So obviously Baylor kicked him off the team. In case you don’t perceive an SEC bias, this Big XII kid lost his scholarship, while the last time a school gave a homeless kid improper benefits, we gave Sandra Bullock an Oscar. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* A first-year Washington University of St. Louis law student is taking a leave of absence to join the Illinois legislature. Rep. Avery Bourne (R-Pawnee). Of course an ambitious female public servant is from “Pawnee.” [CBS St. Louis]
* Florida deputy shackles a mentally ill woman and then drags her by the leg shackles through the courthouse. Which, when you think about it, is probably pretty humane by Florida standards. [Raw Story]
* An interesting profile of CrowdDefend, a new player in the legal-crowdfunding space that’s aimed more towards public interest cases. [LFC 360]
* The phenomenon of “professional brownouts” hits lawyers hard. [Law and More]
* It’s law journal submission season — please publish something more practical than, “the influence of Immanuel Kant on evidentiary approaches in 18th Century Bulgaria.” [The Legal Watchdog]
Can law students and young lawyers achieve career outcomes that are analogous to Tom Brady’s and Malcolm Butler’s in football?
* Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]
* One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]
* We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]
* The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]
* It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]
* Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]
* Did two little kids get slapped with a lifetime gag order barring them from talking about fracking. But how will they explain their third eye? [The Guardian]
* Private equity firm TPG is suing its former PR man — former Bush spokesperson Adam Levine — for allegedly stealing confidential documents and threatening to leak them to the press. They probably showed where the Iraq WMDs were. [O’Dwyer’s]
* So maybe the blizzard of 2015 fizzled for New Yorkers. But winter’s not over yet — how do you interview in a snowstorm? [Corporette]
* “The Supreme Court’s Billion-Dollar Mistake”? Well, they’re still half a billion ahead of Simpson Thacher. [New York Review of Books]
* Suge Knight accused of murder. Not an archival story. [Los Angeles Times]
* An online CLE on the ethical issues of laterals and collapsing firms. Dewey know any firms who could have used this information? [Bloomberg BNA]
What if we took the ridiculous questions asked of Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch and paired them with ridiculous answers from Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch?
* Next time on Nancy Grace: A recent graduate of Michigan State Law allegedly got a master’s degree student from the school pregnant twice before he left the country. The woman allegedly murdered one of the babies, and the other is now missing. [Detroit Free Press]
* I’ll just leave this right here so I won’t get fined. It looks like a partner from Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton helped Marshawn Lynch trademark his nickname “Beast Mode” — a trademark that may lead to Lynch getting a $100,000 fine from the NFL. [Am Law Daily]
* In other trademark news, Taylor Swift got approval for catchphrases from her album. “Nice to Meet You, Where You Been?” Her IP lawyers “Could Show You Incredible Things,” but you could’ve been getting down to “This Sick Beat.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Gibson Dunn earned $459,000 for successfully challenging Virginia’s ban on same-sex marriage, which was apparently a “sharp cut” in the fees the firm initially requested for star litigator Ted Olson’s time. Poor Teddy. [National Law Journal]
* According to Am Law’s latest Lateral Partners Survey, there was a 7 percent increase in lateral moves — 2,736, to be precise — between Oct. 1, 2013 and Sept. 30, 2014. Guaranteed pay packages, though, seem to be a thing of the past. [American Lawyer]
* The K&L Gates Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project, a clinic that’s perhaps better known as the firm’s revenge porn project, is assisting a California law student whose nude pictures and videos were allegedly put online by an ex. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Senate Republicans are contemplating abolishing filibusters for SCOTUS nominees. This could go one of two ways: it could work out nicely for them, or explode in their faces. It’s like a choose your own adventure game. [POLITICO]
* When it comes to the upcoming gay marriage cases before SCOTUS, “[e]very lawyer involved will want to argue.” Remember, when you’re given the chance to make history, you better hope that you’re on the right side of it. [National Law Journal]
* “[I]f there is one decision I would overrule, it is Citizens United.” Even RBG thinks this campaign finance decision is one of the Supreme Court’s “darkest hour[s].” [Salon]
* SCOTUS refused to stay Charles Warner’s execution, but it agreed to grant cert on his lethal injection case days after his death. Better late than never? [New York Times]
* The NFL has drafted Ted Wells of Paul Weiss to blow up the absurd controversy that is “Deflategate.” Come on, who cares if the Patriots cheated again? [WSJ Law Blog]
* Do you know any chronic Biglaw firm-hoppers? How many firms are too many to lateral to? Three? Five? Seven? Jesus Christ, for this guy, try 10 firms. [Am Law Daily]
* Governor Chris Christie was worried America didn’t realize he has no respect for his constituents and is a complete fake, so he’s publicly rooting for the Dallas Cowboys over any of the three teams real New Jersey residents root for. He’s also possibly violating ethics rules. [The Legal Blitz / ATL Redline]
* Screech is going to trial. [Associated Press / Yahoo! News]
* New dean at USC. Who is it? [USC Gould School of Law]
* As the Supreme Court stares down the barrel of some highly political cases, will Chief Justice Roberts live up to his promise of non-partisanship? [Chicago Sun-Times]
* The GOP is very, very against using the popular vote to elect a president which they characterize as an effort to “steal the presidency.” Seriously. [Concurring Opinions]