Harvard Law School

* Do not mess with federal judges: Shortly after presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump criticized Judge Gonzalo Curiel of the Southern District of California at a political rally by calling him a “hater,” the judge ordered that internal Trump University documents from a consumer fraud trial be unsealed. [POLITICO]

* The Clark County Defenders Union that represents Zohra Bakhtary condemned Judge Conrad Hafen in an open letter, writing, “[h]andcuffing an attorney who is merely doing her job to teach her a lesson is simply improper and has never been done in the history of Nevada.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* When we last checked in with Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey’s ex-executive director, he told a judge that due to financial constraints, he’d like to represent himself at retrial. Now, he’s hired Rita Glavin of Seward & Kissel for the job. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Uh-oh… Mossack Fonseca, the law firm behind the Panama Papers leaks, announced via Tweet its plans to close offices in several offshore tax havens. The firm will shutter offices in the island nations of Jersey, Gibraltar. and the Isle of Man. [VICE News]

* Who knew a Libor-rigging trial could be so exciting? Former Barclays trader and criminal defendant Ryan Reich was scolded by a judge after he interrupted a co-defendant’s testimony with shouts of “no, no, no, no.” [Big Law Business]

* Cassandra Q. Butts, former deputy White House counsel and longtime friend and advisor to law school classmate President Barack Obama, RIP. [Washington Post]

* Yikes! Thanks to its expensive legal battle with Hulk Hogan — one that’s been revenge-financed by tech billionaire Peter Thiel to the tune of millions of dollars — Gawker Media is exploring a possible sale of the company and has hired Mark Patricof of Houlihan Lokey to provide financial advice. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Maybe Harvard Law grads are a like Carrie Bradshaw after all — except their degrees cost more than their shoes: In addressing Harvard’s 2016 grads at the Law School’s Class Day, Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City admitted she had no idea why she was chosen as a speaker, and said she initially turned down the offer. [Harvard Crimson]

* Alan Koslow, formerly of Becker & Poliakoff, resigned yesterday after he was charged in a federal money-laundering conspiracy scheme. Koslow’s charge is the result of a three-and-a-half year undercover FBI sting. He faces a maximum of five years in prison and a $250,000 fine. We may have more on this later today. [Orlando Sun-Sentinel]

* “Oracle shouldn’t ‘own’ programmers simply because they had taken the time to learn Java.” Google escaped an almost $9 billion copyright lawsuit with the help of a jury that concluded the tech giant had made fair use of Oracle’s Java programming language in the creation of its Android operating system for its phone business. [Big Law Business]

* Closing the gender gap, one job at a time: The OnRamp Fellowship, a program that pairs female lawyers who want to return to practice with the nation’s top firms in the hope of receiving an offer at the end of their one-year stints, has now expanded to in-house legal departments. Congratulations on your excellent work. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In case you missed it, one of the categories on Jeopardy! earlier this week was “Law Firms.” One of the questions that stumped a contestant was: “Tops for patent litigation per U.S. News & World Report, Fish & Richardson specializes in IP, short for this.” Come on, you dope, the very easy answer was “What is intellectual property?” [WSJ Law Blog]

* After receiving overwhelming support in both the House and Senate, President Obama signed the Defend Trade Secrets Act (DTSA) into law yesterday afternoon. The DTSA is the most significant expansion of federal law in IP since the Lanham Act. Companies will now be able to file federal civil lawsuits for theft of trade secrets. [Law 360 (sub. req.)]

* Mossack Fonseca, the law firm at the center of the Panama Papers scandal, says that it will be filing suit against the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists for leaking information that the firm alleges to be false. Attorneys at the firm say the ICIJ has forced them to “start aggressive legal action to protect [them]selves.” [France24]

* “You don’t have to work for a 501(c)(3) or anything like that in order to be eligible. You just have to not make that much money.” More law schools are trying to entice students to attend by touting their low-income protection plans and loan repayment assistance plans. We hope your law school is willing to help you after graduation. [U.S. News]

* Not to harsh your mellow, dude, but according to a recent study by AAA, fatal car accidents have “surged” in states where marijuana has been legalized. For example, in Washington, the number of fatal crashes involving stoned drivers increased from 8% to 17% from 2013 to 2014, the year recreational marijuana was legalized. [Inquisitr]

* Puff, puff, pass the vote! In honor of today’s nationwide holiday for cannabis aficionados, these are all of the states that have legalized marijuana, be it for either recreational or medical use. This year, at least 10 more states may legalize weed by ballot referendum for recreational use, and pot could be rescheduled by the Drug Enforcement Agency depending on the outcome of the upcoming election. [Refinery 29]

* Members of student activist group Reclaim Harvard Law have demanded that the prestigious law school eliminate tuition completely. They propose that the school dip into its endowment to cover tuition, or cut costs like faculty salaries to make debt-free legal education a reality. This won’t happen, but it’s a nice thought. [Harvard Crimson]

* The ABA is investigating Brigham Young Law’s policy of expelling ex-Mormon students. Per ABA guidelines, law schools can’t discriminate on the basis of religion, and yet the BYU honor code requires students to get annual endorsements from LDS Church members — endorsements for which former Mormons aren’t eligible. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Pharma bro Martin Shkreli was dropped from a lawsuit related to his purchase of the only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan’s latest album, “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.” It’s likely plaintiff Jason Koza, who claims his art was used for the album without his approval, dumped Shkreli due to a purchase-agreement indemnity clause. [New York Post]

* Because a judge reduced his manslaughter conviction to criminally negligent homicide at the last minute, former NYPD Officer Peter Liang will not serve jail time for the 2014 shooting death of Akai Gurley. Liang once faced up to 15 years in prison, but instead he was sentenced to five years of probation and 800 hours of community service. [CNN]

Staci Zaretsky is an editor at Above the Law. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments. Follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.

* Howrey doing with all those profit clawbacks for unfinished business? The bankruptcy trustee for this defunct firm filed an appeal with the Ninth Circuit to determine whether his method of collecting cash for the insolvent firm’s estate was legal, and in an amicus brief, the ABA has sided with the law firms being bilked for funds, saying such efforts must be nixed. [ABA Journal]

* The Tenth Circuit dismissed a challenge to Utah’s ban on polygamy that was brought by TLC’s “Sister Wives” family, saying they didn’t have standing to sue as they were no longer subject to a credible threat of prosecution. This will probably add fuel to the rumors that the show is on the verge of cancellation before Season 7. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The SEC has charged Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton in connection to a stock scam involving tech company Servergy. Paxton allegedly assisted the company with raising investor funds, but never disclosed his commissions. With three pending criminal indictments and a bar complaint, this guy is batting 1000. [Dallas Morning News]

* Reclaim Harvard Law protestors who have been occupying the school’s student center claim that they found a voice-activated recording device in “Belinda Hall,” and have interpreted this as an “intentional effort to surveil [their] movement.” If your goal was to get people to listen to your message, consider this an achievement unlocked. [Observer]

* If you’re uncertain about your law school decision, you can certainly put down multiple seat deposits, but we’re not sure why you would want to. By all means, start your legal education by putting yourself into debt — you’ll be off to a great start for the six figures of loans you’ll have accumulated by graduation. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* “Say you’ll remember me, standing in a black robe, waiting for a hearing, babe. Begging the SJC, say you will confirm me, even if it’s just in my wildest dreams, ah-ha ohh.” SCOTUS nominee Judge Merrick Garland has something in common with an overwhelming number of teenage girls: he loves Taylor Swift sing-alongs. That’s cute! [People]

* “A judge does not check his First Amendment rights at the courthouse door.” Judge Olu Stevens has filed suit against the Kentucky Judicial Conduct Commission on free-speech grounds in an attempt to stave off an ethics sanction for publicly commenting on Facebook about all-white juries and their “disproportionate and disparate impact on black defendants.” [Courier-Journal]

* Hardly any partners leave Cravath, but a very important one just did, and his exit is making people talk. Scott Barshay, once a top M&A partner at the firm that tends to set the associate bonus scale, has defected to Paul Weiss, where he’ll become its global head of M&A. Which clients will he take to the “dream team”? [DealBook / New York Times]

* This plaintiff’s antitrust allegations against Uber’s CEO may be “wildly implausible” and representative of an “impossibly unwieldy conspiracy,” but in Judge Jed Rakoff’s eyes, they were enough to overcome a motion to dismiss that was filed by Boies Schiller. Something tells us Uber’s legal bills are going to see some surge-pricing. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Per a study by Ravel Law, in a new index that tracks federal judges by their rulings and subsequent citations to those rulings, Michigan produces the most influential judges on the federal bench, followed by Chicago, Harvard, and Yale. Harvard has finally gotten one over on Yale — but for a measly bronze trophy. [Crain’s Detroit Business]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector gained 1,200 jobs in March. On top of that positive news, February’s numbers were revised from a loss of 1,500 jobs to a gain of 100 jobs. In any case, what with the huge discrepancy, we’re happy to see Dewey’s bookkeepers found new work. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* According to a statement released by the RIAA, hundreds of musicians and songwriters — like Katy Perry, for example — have called on Congress to reform the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Safe-harbor clauses are absolutely killing the artists’ bottom line, and something must be done. [THR, ESQ. / Hollywood Reporter]

* “[M]any law firms have had breaches, which they’ve kept quiet.” Following the news that Cravath and Weil Gotshal had been victims of data breaches, Edelson, a plaintiff’s side firm, announced it would be filing class-action suits against 15 major Biglaw firms with cybersecurity problems. We can’t wait to find out which ones will be on the receiving end of these complaints. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Being the world’s first publicly traded law firm has turned out to be quite the debacle for Slater & Gordon. First, the Australian firm announced market losses of about $740 million, citing “underperformance in U.K. operations,” and now its general counsel has decided to throw in the towel after only two months on the job. Ouch. [Am Law Daily]

* “I have lost my faith in the potential for the Law School or its curriculum to put out people who care deeply about things.” Members of Harassment/Assault Law-School Team, a student group that advocates for sexual assault victims, aren’t impressed with Harvard Law’s inaction on educating students about sexual assault. [Harvard Crimson]

* How can we guarantee educators are being honest about graduates’ job prospects? Based on the results of the Corinthian Colleges fiasco and the Alaburda v. TJSL trial, it seems like “[s]trict disclosure rules for all schools would be better than lawsuits and government aid as a way to ensure educator honesty.” [DealBook / New York Times]

* What’s the difference between the late Justice Antonin Scalia and Chief Judge Merrick Garland, his potential replacement? “[He] always sounds the same. Most of the time, he is very even-toned, not aggressive.” For starters, Scalia’s dissents were usually fiery and entertaining, while Garland’s dissents tend to be very respectful and courteous. [Washington Post]

* “[T]here were errors and flaws in the way Thomas Jefferson carried out their research.” An expert retained by Anna Alaburda in her suit against Thomas Jefferson Law testified that the methods the law school used to collect grads’ job data were improper and could have caused some inaccurate info to be reported. [Courthouse News Service]

* Donald Trump’s presidential campaign — and his path to the White House — may be interrupted by a pesky fraud trial over his now defunct real estate school. The Donald will likely be asked to testify by New York AG Eric Schneiderman, and if he pleads the Fifth, it could have YUGE implications on his defense strategy. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “When someone — or something — is going away, there are usually some people that want to get it before it goes away, for whatever reason.” Racist memorabilia? Harvard Law is trying to quickly eliminate all ties to its controversial shield, but its bookstore will be slowly selling off all remaining merchandise bearing the symbol. [Boston Globe]

* “The average graduate cannot expect to make enough in the years following graduation to even hope to make a dent in the student loans they take on from going to law school. And that’s if they can even pass the bar and find a job as an attorney.” Law profs face buyouts, but their students aren’t in a much better position. [Northwest Indiana Times]

* It looks like SCOTUSblog’s Tom Goldstein was onto something, because Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is reportedly being vetted to fill Justice Antonin Scalia’s seat on the Supreme Court. The D.D.C. judge once clerked for Justice Stephen Breyer, and may wind up working alongside him on the high court as an associate justice (which could be a first). [National Law Journal]

* Justice Scalia’s death quickly affected some SCOTUS litigants: Dow Chemical settled an antitrust class-action suit for $835M because “[g]rowing political uncertainties … and increased likelihood for unfavorable outcomes for business involved in class-action suits have changed Dow’s risk assessment of the situation.” [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Abortion returns to the SCOTUS this week, and litigants are wondering which version of Justice Kennedy they’ll receive when a decision is made. If Gonzales v. Carhart Kennedy makes an appearance, states across the South in the Fifth Circuit could kiss abortion goodbye. Here’s hoping for Planned Parenthood v. Casey Kennedy. [MSNBC]

* Student activists from Harvard Law and Brandeis University protested an awards ceremony where Dean Martha Minow was honored for “making a lasting contribution to racial, ethnic or religious relations.” The protestors felt the award’s timing was ironic considering the ongoing racial divisiveness at the law school. [Harvard Crimson]

* Career alternatives for disbarred attorneys who “knowingly misappropriated client funds”: chief compliance officer of one of the largest banks in the world by market capitalization? Ritu Singh is lucky compliance is so hot right now, because accusations of past financial crimes apparently aren’t dealbreakers in terms of hiring. [New York Post]