Holidays and Seasons

ThanksgivingEd. note: This is the latest post in our series of ATL infographics — visual representations of our own proprietary data, relevant third-party data, “anecdata,” or just plain jokes.

Elie here. My first “Black Friday” (that’s the Friday after Thanksgiving for those who reject consumerism in all of its forms) while working in Biglaw, I went into the office. My second Black Friday, I went to the therapist. I didn’t make it to my third one.

Thanksgiving is next week, and while you certainly shouldn’t have to work on Thursday, Friday is a different matter. So, we’ve put together this helpful decision matrix to figure out if you actually have to drag yourself into your Biglaw office on Friday… or if you can sleep off your turkey hangover surrounded by your family and/or the escort you paid to make your holiday feel less empty…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Biglaw Holiday Decision Tree: Do You Have To Work The Friday After Thanksgiving?”

It’s been an amazing year here at Above the Law. We have more readers than ever before. We have more straight white males writing for us than ever before. We’ve received more direct death threats from law deans and law professors than ever before (maybe that’s just me). And it’s all thanks to you, our loyal readers who are looking at this post on Facebook and thinking “I don’t want to “like” this and let my friends know I actually read this website.”

Let’s have a party. We’ve got money, non-denominational yuletide cheer, and an open bar. We got sponsors: Prestige Legal Search and Superior Discovery, which means we’re literally having a PRESTIGE holiday party that will be SUPERIOR to all others.

Here are the pertinent details:

Thursday, Dec 5th
7:00 p.m. -10:00 p.m. at Dewey’s Flatiron in New York, NY
OPEN BAR for ALL THREE HOURS

Do I really have to sell this more? We’ve got the entire mezzanine section of Dewey’s Flatiron. We’ll be doing specialty drinks again for each editor. And everybody’s invited… except you. You know who you are. Don’t you dare come.

You came, you saw, you voted, and one person conquered in this year’s legally themed Halloween costume contest. As usual, we had our fair share of haters (which was quite rude, considering one of our competitors was a baby).

We’ll let you find out who’s taking home the grand prize in this year’s contest, but first, as a bonus, we’ve got a little treat for you.

We’re going to show you a law-related Halloween costume that wasn’t submitted until last night (someone obviously hasn’t been reading ATL enough). It’s really a crying shame, because this girl’s costume is so incredibly awesome that it probably would’ve been our winner…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL’s Legally Themed Halloween Costume Contest: The Winner”


Just before Halloween, we asked our readers to submit their legally themed costumes to us for our annual contest. As usual, we got a great crop of entries, and we have a feeling you’re going to like them a lot.

We’ve got seven finalists for you to choose from, and voting starts today. Who will be the winner of this year’s competition? Let’s get to the costumes…

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What better way to do it than with my wand? This is the best part of my day.

– Judge Cynthia Giuliani of the Clark County, Nevada Family Court, explaining why she decided to put her gavel aside on Halloween as she finalizes adoptions — because she thinks that “what adoption does for children actually is sort-of magical.”

It’s Halloween tonight, don’t forget to wear a condom.

I know, that advice comes too late for most people. Most people had their Halloween parties over the weekend, tonight is for the kids. And it’s Christmas Day for dentists.

In fact, we’ve received reports that one Midwestern law school had quite a smashing little Halloween shindig. According to a tipster: “The front entrance to the law school was a minefield of vomit puddles.”

A spooky minefield of vomit and puddles?

In response, the law school is now banning alcohol. Which wouldn’t sound so ridiculous if it didn’t expose the intense hypocrisy of the “business” of legal education…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Halloween-over: Law School Bans Alcohol In Building Named After Beer”

Happy Halloween! Please don’t sue us for scaring you.

They all come of their own free will. And they want to be scared, so complaining wouldn’t make sense.

– Stephen Hummel, an entrepreneur who runs a museum of paranormal occurrences and has worked in a haunted house for the past 13 years, commenting on the likelihood of people suing after receiving a major Halloween scare in the dark.

(In instances where people have sued over injuries, the courts usually rule in favor of the haunted houses in terms of assessing liability.)

Halloween is a little more than a week away, and everyone in the legal community is gearing up for the inevitable parade of naughty librarian and schoolgirl costumes.

As usual, here at Above the Law, we’re soliciting legally themed costumes for our annual Halloween contest. It’s always a lot of fun, and we’re always impressed with how creative lawyers and law students can be.

This year should be no different. Have you got what it takes to top the winners of years past?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Above The Law’s Fourth Annual Legally Themed Halloween Costume Contest”

I see you all enjoyed your vacations. I saw the 175 pictures you posted on Facebook of every single place you went, and now I see you “can’t believe your baby is starting 7th grade.” So now that it’s time to get back to work and figure out what to do about all those clients calling you as a result of seeing you on the first page of Google, I will again offer you life-changing advice for which you come here weekly.

This advice is all real, and in no particular order.

1. If you have an office, or even a desk, take every single thing off the top. I did this the other day. Clean it, and then place everything back, except the stack of papers that belong in a file or the garbage, the magazines and articles you’re never going to read, and the items that do nothing but take up otherwise workable space. This will cost you no money, take about 15-20 minutes, and you will thank me. Well, not all of you…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Spring (Fall) Cleaning For Law Firms”

Why do law firms have a tendency to partake in racism despite — theoretically — understanding the laws that should discourage such behavior? Like “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop,” the world may never know.

In the meantime, ATL will be there to talk about it.

Like a law firm whose white management might hold an event for their black associates and serve fried chicken because… you know.

Racism. It’s a thing…

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