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Law school is a good idea if you are incapable of doing basic math.

I feel like we could probably do a weekly feature entitled “It’s A Trap” that just focuses on which poor argument for going to law school somebody hopes 22-year-olds will fall for.

This week, we need to do a mash-up because all the stories about the dearth of law school applications have caused some deans to go out and say just the most ridiculous things online.

Just to make sure that a “counter-argument” comes up when uninformed prospective law students do Google searches for these schools, let’s take a whack at the latest, most absurd things to come out of a law school dean’s mouth, this time focusing on some smaller schools that not a lot of people have heard of….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Really Weak Arguments For Going To Law School: The Small Law School Edition”

Non-Sequiturs: 02.05.13

* “Save me from the nothing I’ve become. (Bring me to life.) I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside. (Bring me to life.)” — Legal Job Market. [The Atlantic]

* “They see me rollin’. They hatin’. Patrolling, they tryin’ to catch me ridin’ dirty.” — The State of Virgina. [Salon]

* “I think I’ll find another way. There’s so much more to know. I guess I’ll die another day. It’s not my time to go.” — Estate Tax dodgers. [Forbes via Tax Prof Blog]

* “What I’ve felt, What I’ve known, Never shined through in what I’ve shown, Never free, Never me, So I dub thee unforgiven.” — Casey Anthony. [Michigan Bankruptcy Blog]

* “It’s an eminence front. It’s an eminence front – It’s a put-on. It’s a put-on… Come and join the party, Dress to kill. Won’t you come and join the party? Dress to kill.” — Department of Justice. [Opinio Juris]

* “I heard that you were talking s**t, And you didn’t think that I would hear it. People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up. So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack. Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out.” — Cyberbullying law opponents. [ABA Journal]

In the world of sports, the figure of coach has taken on near-mythological status. Some coaches — such as the late Joe Paterno, before his fall from grace — are treated like gods, due to their legendary leadership and inspiration abilities.

What about in the world of Biglaw? Well, it’s catching on there too. An increasing number of law firms are making career coaches, including on-site coaches, available to their attorneys.

What’s behind this trend? And is it one worth celebrating? We share some survey results, as well as comments from a former associate who worked with a career coach….

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Only the guy on top thinks this is a mutually beneficial relationship.

I know people are desperate. Last week, we wrote about a person who is so desperate, she was thinking of working for an allegedly disreputable attorney just to get experience.

But employers who are trying to take advantage of the desperation in the recent graduate market are real jerks. Trying to get desperate recent grads to work for free (or to actually pay you to work) isn’t taking advantage of a market opportunity, it’s taking advantage of people.

We’ve seen a lot of employers offering to “hire” people for free, but rarely with the kind of pompous overtones of the Craigslist ad below. It’s one of those ads that boasts about a lot of things in ALL CAPS, except for when it comes to paying people….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Terrible Job Watch: Employer Claims To Offer Job Worth More Than Money, So He Won’t Pay Anybody”

* Aside from writing powerful opinions that will last the ages, being a mentor “is the most valuable thing” this Supreme Court justice can do. Sonia Sotomayor: motivational speaker? [New York Times]

* Aww, poor Biglaw partners. You want bigger cuts of your firm’s profits, but according to the latest Peer Monitor report, expectations like that are incredibly “unrealistic.” [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* This actually isn’t something women like to shop for: the $200 million class action suit over the Greenberg Traurig “boys club” is currently being held up in two federal courts by arbitration and forum shopping issues. [Am Law Daily]

* With news that the legal industry is shedding jobs faster than the ABA can accredit more unnecessary law schools, career services officers must be hanging their heads in shame. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Dear law schools, your crappy business model is making us take a look at all crappy higher education business models, and we don’t like what we’re seeing here. Pls hndle thx. XOXO, Moody’s. [Washington Post]

* This is justice, Texas style: District Attorney Mike McLelland says the reward fund for tips in the brutal slaying of ADA Mark Hasse will grow to an “astronomical amount” until the killers are found. [Dallas Morning News]

* This lawyer allegedly had a fling with his sister-in-law out of the goodness of his heart, and in return, she accused him of sexual assault. Now he’s suing her for $7 million. You can’t make this sh*t up. [New York Post]

* In trying to get $700 in tickets dismissed, this lawyer says the U.S. Postal Service is immune from state and local traffic regulations. Other USPS immunities include not losing my mail on a regular basis. [USA Today]

This cheese isn’t a good deal.

Today’s story about a law student bound for prison has me thinking about how regular people become criminals. The story of Marc Gersen is the kind of thing books are made of; it’s big and bold and colorful.

But on the smaller scale, people are pushed into unethical decisions all the time, and it rarely comes with the stark choices of, “Should I, or should I NOT, start a meth ring?” People, especially the kind of risk-averse people who end up in law school, don’t make one big decision to “become a criminal.” It’s a bunch of little decisions that incrementally take you from “normal, law-abiding citizen” to “bad actor.”

Today, we got an email from a person who is thinking about making an unethical choice out of desperation for a job. Why don’t you read her dilemma for yourself and tell her what you think she should do….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “And This Is How We Turn Good People Into Unethical Lawyers”

Non-Sequiturs: 02.01.13

* There’s an interesting take here by Scott Greenfield on Glenn Reynolds’s op-ed suggesting there be a “waiting period” before new legislation to try to make sure everybody at least reads it first. Personally, I’m a little more concerned with getting longer waiting periods before people can buy guns and shoot me. [Simple Justice]

* Funny to see Lindsay Lohan as the plaintiff, instead of the defendant. [Los Angeles Times]

* When reached for comment about the weakness in the U.S. legal job market, clients responded, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” [Associate's Mind]

* And now we’re back to the argument that allowing non-lawyer ownership of law firms will magically give clients a better experience. Yes, because whenever I’m on hold with Time Warner, I think, “Man, these business people sure get customer service.” [The Economist]

* R.I.P. Mark Hummels. [Huffington Post]

* It feels like it’s been a while since we made fun of Oklahoma. [Legal Juice]

* After the jump, Bloomberg has a fun video on whether Wall Street should fear Mary Jo White….

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In last week’s Moonlighting, we checked out what several general counsels and chief legal officers considered to be the worst aspects of their job. And all of us in junior positions and middle management cried a tear for them.

This week, we’re going to look at what those GCs and CLOs said are the absolute bestest things ever about being the head of a legal department. Dare to take a guess? Is it the fact that they’re compensated with tons of cash, stock options, and other sweet benefits as a member of the exclusive C Suite? Or that law firm partners are as attentive to them as valets are to earls and dukes on Downton Abbey? Or that the Red Sea parts whenever they raise a staff over it?

Apparently there are greater benefits to being a GC than any of those above. And this includes one that was listed in last week’s column as a reason you wouldn’t want to be the GC….

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Lateral Link has a fantastic, unique, and VERY RARE opportunity for a CEO position with one of the country’s largest real estate companies.

This position requires Hebrew fluency (or near fluency) and extensive experience in real estate management, finance, and sales and acquisitions, as well as previous corporate management experience. If you have 5+ years experience in the real estate fields described above, Hebrew fluency, and corporate management experience, this job could be for you.

Position: Chief Executive Officer (CEO)

Location: South Florida

Description: Leading real estate company is looking for a Chief Executive Officer with 5+ years of sophisticated real estate experience, including management of large scale residential properties, real estate finance, and real estate sales and acquisitions. This position requires Hebrew fluency (or near fluency) and previous corporate management experience.

Legal experience is very helpful but not required.

If you are a Lateral Link member, please see position #14993 on the Lateral Link site. If you are not a Lateral Link member, you can sign up for free at www.laterallink.com. If you are interested in this position or any other of our great positions in Florida, Atlanta or other parts of the Southeast, please contact Scott Hodes directly at shodes@laterallink.com.

We are going through a revolution in law with a time bomb on our admissions books. Thirty years ago if you were looking to get on the escalator to upward mobility, you went to business or law school. Today, the law school escalator is broken.

William D. Henderson, a professor of law at Indiana University (Maurer), commenting on the rigor mortis that’s quickly spreading now that everyone’s fantasies of fame and fortune in the once storied legal profession have died.

(Enough doom and gloom. What are law schools planning to do about it?)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Quote of the Day: The Law School Dream Is Dead”

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