Jose Baez

Life's a Blitsch, and then you die.

* “If you love me you’ll pass this bill.” Sorry, Obama, but even the Democrats are busy washing their hair on this one. How about we pass a resolution like this instead? I’d totally love Obama for that. [New York Times]

* What’s with town clerks in New York and gay marriage licenses? If you refuse to do your job, you shouldn’t be forced to resign, you should be fired. Proskauer’s nicer than me, though. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Gary Giordano, the man accused of killing his swinging gal pal in Aruba, has hired a new attorney. Apparently Jose Baez is now the go-to guy for defendants with shady pasts and even shadier alibis. [Daily Mail]

* “Leicester, you are not the father!” If only this had happened on an episode of Maury. Lawyer Leicester Stovell’s paternity suit against LeBron James has been dismissed. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

* The Blitsch is back, and she’s got Gloria Allred on her side to file a motion to dismiss. Why? Because all women should have the right to embarrass ex-lawyerly lovers online. [New York Post]

* A case of puff puff politics? You know what, if they gave out free pot before every major election, I bet a lot more people would register to vote. [CNN]

* Unfortunately, it looks like law schools aren’t the only ones cooking the books. According to Citigroup, partner profits in the Am Law 100 may have been a teensy bit overstated last year. [Wall Street Journal]

* A perp walk is a terrible thing to waste. Prosecutors may be dropping the charges against Dominique Strauss-Kahn faster than the old frog can allegedly drop his pants in a hotel room. [New York Times]

* Ethics investigation? Florida better realize that it’s dealing with the legal community’s honey badger. Jose Baez don’t care. Jose Baez don’t give a sh*t. [Crimesider / CBS News]

* Lindsay Lohan wants Pitbull to give her everything in this new lawsuit. Sorry honey, but you’ve already done more irreparable harm to yourself than a rap lyric ever could. [New York Daily News]

* In a lawsuit against Urban Outfitters over a picture, we learn that underage boobs are going for $14M a pop these days. Damn you, inflation, damn you to hell. [International Business Times]

* I see an orange jumpsuit in your future. And when you’re facing 47 counts of wire fraud after being busted in Operation Crystal Ball, that’s a pretty accurate fortune. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

It’s time to announce the winner of July’s Lawyer of the Month. Actually, it’s well past time to announce the winner of July’s Lawyer of the Month, but I forgot to do it before I went on vacation. Sorry about that. Since it’s late I’ll make this column free.

The winner of the July contest won in a landslide. Regular readers of Above the Law will not be surprised to learn that Elana Nightingale Dawson, a recent law school graduate who went into labor while attempting to pass the bar, won our lawyer of the month poll — even if she’s not yet a practicing attorney. That’s just how we roll around here.

But despite her comfortable margin of victory, Elana Dawson inspired some interesting debates in the comments, debates that merit additional attention….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “July Lawyer of the Month: It’s Raining Babies”

July was an awesome month for lawyers. June was great for scandalous lawyers, but July has been great for straight-up star power.

We’ve got some great candidates from July. We’ve got some candidates who accomplished things in the law. But only one of our Lawyer of the Month contestants is also a new mother…

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* I’m flying this weekend for the first time in over a year (it couldn’t be avoided). I’ll need to brush up on what rights I still retain during air travel. As long as I acknowledge TSA’s droit du seigneur to my wife, I’m allowed to carry an unopened water bottle on board, right? [Legal Blog Watch]

* There’s a statement from the University of Baltimore on the Phillip Closius situation. They say their “forward momentum” will continue. Does that mean they expect future Baltimore Law students to be unable to run a Google search? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Lat imagined a future legal career for Casey Anthony that starts with a Anthony getting a GED (before clerking on the Supreme Court and becoming a law partner of Jose Baez). But doesn’t Hustler seem like something more in her wheelhouse? [Gawker]

* Have we done irreparable damage to our credit rating, unless we can prove we have a legal “fail-safe” in case a vocal Tea Party minority hijacks the entire freaking nation again? [Blackbook Legal]

* Taco Bell employee fired for refusing to get his hair cut. I guess they were worried about 100% real hair mixing with their isolated oat product — er, seasoned beef. [Associated Press]

* Howrey going to massively reduce our assets for bankruptcy reporting purposes? [Chapter11Cases]

CHECK YOU SAMOSAS.

* Should innkeepers with religious beliefs be able to turn away same-sex couples seeking marriage reception venues? [Burlington Free Press]

* What are the best law firms in different cities and regions of the country? Check out the Vault regional rankings. [Vault's Law Blog]

* I bet she bites off the next thing he forces in her mouth. [Runnin' Scared / Village Voice and Gizmodo]

* The Tiger Mom should send the senators to bed without dinner until they vote on the stalled Seventh Circuit nomination of Professor Victoria Nourse. [National Law Journal]

* Was there a Brady violation at the Casey Anthony trial? The state says no, arguing that defense lawyer Jose Baez received the potentially exculpatory information. [Legal Ethics Forum]

* Where’s the beef in this lawsuit? Unfortunately, inside the supposedly vegetarian samosas. [Porzio Appellate Law Blog]

* What is the difference between marketing and sales, and why does it matter to law firms? [Ross's Law Marketing Blog]

Paul Oetken

* Ja Rule, another resident of Lat’s hometown, was sentenced to 28 months in jail, for failing to pay taxes. Rather than making some joke about him not being Always On Time with his tax payments, let’s instead just celebrate the existence of this hilarious picture. [Associated Press]

* J. Paul Oetken was confirmed to the S.D.N.Y. yesterday by the Senate, making him the first openly gay man appointed to the federal bench. I think it’s great that Chuck Grassley announced shortly before the vote that he would be supporting the nomination, but I also think it was unnecessary and offensive that he ended his announcement with “nohomo.” [Poliglot]

* Rupert Murdoch’s testifying before Parliament this morning which promises to be the Super Bowl for anglophile nerds. Will the old man survive? [Bloomberg]

* The News Corp. phone-hacking scandal has led to plenty of work for attorneys on “both sides of the pond.” This case is like the BP oil spill of dead girls’ phones being hacked. [Am Law Daily]

* Did Casey Anthony search for chloroform once or 84 times? The world is on tenterhooks, whatever that means. [New York Times]

* Another town clerk has resigned in New York due to gay marriages. The trials God is putting these people through remind me of the story of Gob. I think I spelled that right. [New York Post]

Now that she has been acquitted of murder and manslaughter charges arising out of the death of her daughter, Caylee Anthony, where will Casey Anthony go next? Given her notoriety, it’s a tough question.

One possible answer: law school. As Ann Finnell, one of Casey Anthony’s lawyers, told People magazine, “She’s been exposed to the criminal justice system, and I think that might be a pursuit of hers.”

So should Casey Anthony go to law school? Many observers, including some of my colleagues here at Above the Law, say that going to law school isn’t a good idea for most people.

But Casey Anthony is no ordinary law student. She is an extraordinary young woman and who has had some extraordinary experiences. Conventional wisdom does not apply to her.

Let’s imagine Casey Anthony’s future legal career….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Imagining the Future Legal Career of Casey Anthony”

* DADT may be back on the table after yesterday’s DOJ request. For real? Whoever wants to serve our country should be able to do so. End of story. [Bloomberg]

* @JoseBaez’s trial strategy in the #CaseyAnthony case was based on the opinions of Tweeps and bloggers. #knowhowiknowurdumb [Palm Beach Post]

* This Emory Law student took the Beastie Boys a little too seriously. The fight for his right to party reached the Georgia Supreme Court this week. [ABA Journal]

* Know what sucks for this Sidley Austin attorney? Finding out she cheated on her husband with a man who cheated on (and allegedly murdered) the wife she didn’t know existed. [Daily Mail]

* If this “promising young college student” had heard of TNAFlix, obtaining Purdue’s protection for the alleged downloading of Illegal Ass 2 wouldn’t be an issue. [Journal and Courier]

* Anyone remember the “pants on the ground” song? This is the lawsuit remix. I guess saggy pants on a plane are worse than snakes. [NBC Bay Area]

As many of you already know, if you don’t want to use email, you can send tips to Above the Law by text message. The number to use is 646-820-TIPS (or 646-820-8477).

That number, which is hooked up to our Google Voice account, also accepts voice mails. We strongly prefer text-based tips, via email or text message, over voicemail tips (which require us to listen and transcribe). But you can leave us voicemails if you like.

In the wake of the Casey Anthony verdict, one reader left us a, um, very interesting voice-mail. Check it out — it’s under 10 seconds….

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