Keith Magness

* I’m not sure what it takes to be a top “Global Thinker,” but I’m sure these law professors are worthy. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Good to see that I’m not the only one who gets crazy pitch letters from lawyers. [Popehat]

* If somehow this results in a Simpsons episode where the 11th Circuit rules on whether or not the family can have another Snowball, I’ll be happy. [Find Law]

* No joke, the “things you can’t do on a plane” series is probably my favorite thing in the blawgosphere right now. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Keith Magness, the lawyer accused of masturbating on the office furniture of girls in his firm, entered Alford pleas. But the pleas kind of stuck together. [Times-Picayune]

* But really, how is anybody going to get trial experience if everybody is entering pleas all the time? [Underdog]

* Could a benevolent monopolist fix legal education? Perhaps. But I’d vote for a malevolent blogger instead. [lawprofblog]

* This law student is worried about the tax implications of getting free donuts. He’d better be worried about letting me know that he can get donuts whenever he wants. (Yes, I make the jokes so you can’t hurt me, then go home to bacon-wrapped, fried steak wedges, which don’t judge). [Tax Prof Blog]

* I was on Geraldo at Large for about 30 seconds this weekend telling a gun range owner that guns should be regulated while standing in the middle of his gun store. I wore bright orange because, well, I didn’t want to get shot. [Geraldo at Large]

* Did the lead plaintiff in the job stats suit against Thomas Jefferson School of Law turn down a law job offer? Does TJSL teach its students anything about discovery? [ABA Journal]

* This judge may have a wee bit of an anger problem. [Legal Juice]

* The Democratic activist who bailed the UVA Law grad accused of forced sodomy out of jail has been arrested for a DUI. Based on her mugshot, it appears she may have been at a Halloween event or a Mike Tyson facepainting contest. [Daily Progress]

* What do Dolce & Gabbana have in common with Al Capone? No, not their impeccable fashion sense… [Fashionista]

* Keith Magness, the attorney accused of masturbating on his female colleague’s desk chair and dry cleaning, settled a lawsuit stemming from his allegedly unseemly behavior. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Eww, eww. Gross. Eww. [NOLA.com]

On these pages, we cover a fair number of lawsuits relating to female anatomy. Suits about women who say they were fired from their jobs for their stunning beauty (or, depending on your level of cynicism, their other intimidating feminine assets). But we less frequently write about lawsuits stemming from the male anatomy.

Today, we’re making up for lost time. This afternoon we have two stories about men who allegedly have trouble with properly managing their personal packages, thus causing varying degrees of trauma to themselves and people around them.

Are these suits sexy? NO. Are they crazy? Uh, yup. Salacious? Check. And no matter how one discusses these suits, it will sound like an awkward conversation with Tobias Fünke.

So, let’s check out our Lawsuits of the Day. And watch your step…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuits of the Day: Ewwww. OMG, OMG. Gross.”