Crim Law exam features Fifty Shades of Grey prequel as fact pattern. [Legal Cheek]
* You’d think being in jail would be a pretty good alibi. But that’s not the Chicago Way! [Overlawyered]
* How many law professors have wished they could say this before? “Don’t give me any of your s**tty papers and you get an A.” [Critical-Theory via TaxProf Blog]
* Lawyer powerlifting to raise money for mentoring programs. Because donating to charity is more fun when it comes with the risk of severe groin injuries. [Chicago Tribune]
* U.S. News has a list of ways being a paralegal first can help with law school. It’s dumb. There’s only one reason paralegal experience helps and that’s to meet practicing lawyers and figure out whether or not law school is even worth it. [U.S. News]
* In the past, Professor Nancy Leong was accused of narcissism. But she doesn’t seem to be attention-seeking at all based on this publicly posted shot. Maybe she can post that on Ashley Madison and see what happens… [Instagram]
* Regulating imports could drastically improve labor conditions around the world (and potentially bring more jobs back home). But that could curtail profits by a smidgeon so let’s table that discussion. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* A former AUSA on the Phil Mickelson/Carl Icahn insider trading case and wiretaps. [mitchellepner]
* John Oliver made a powerful appeal to the Internet to take action in defense of Net Neutrality. If you want to know what you can do (or don’t even understand the issue) and laugh at the same time, the video is embedded below… [Huffington Post]
* As you may have heard, Apple is buying Beats Electronics for $3 billion. Apple is being represented by Weil, but don’t worry, no one forgot about Dre — he’s got Munger Tolles and Skadden Arps on his side. [Am Law Daily]
* Haynes and Boone will have a new managing partner as of January 1, 2015, and to make sure he fulfills the good old Texas stereotype of things being bigger, he wants to grow the hell out of the firm’s Houston office. [Dallas Business Journal]
* Stephanie Avakian, a WilmerHale partner in the New York office, was tapped by the Securities and Exchange Commission to become its deputy director of enforcement. Yay! [DealBook / New York Times]
* “We can’t turn law schools into graduate school for the study of law,” says a law prof who thinks legal education is straying from being professional education. Aww, write a paper about it. [Harvard Crimson]
* A Los Angeles couple has been accused in the hit-and-run death of Judge Dean Pregerson’s son. The judge isn’t “looking for blood,” but some jail time would probably help. [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]
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1st Circuit, Biglaw, California, Celebrities, Confirmations, Crime, Football, Gender, Lateral Moves, Law Professors, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Texas, United Kingdom / Great Britain
* Congrats are in order for David Barron. The Harvard Law professor was confirmed to the First Circuit in a close vote (53-45), despite his apparent allegiance to our new drone overlords. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Another one bites the dust: Weil’s London banking leader Stephen Lucas decamped for Kirkland & Ellis. The firm retorted by saying: “We have got 40 finance lawyers left.” Aww, yay for you. [The Lawyer]
* We already know that state prosecutors are very poorly paid, but let’s go one step further and see if women are paid less than men. Shockingly enough, women are getting the shaft in Texas. [Texas Tribune]
* Dean Jack Boger of UNC Law is stepping down, but he’s proud of keeping legal ed affordable. “[B]y relative standards, we’re still doing that,” he said. It’s ~$39K for out-of-state students. [Chapelboro.com]
* O.J. Simpson’s lawyers submitted a gigantic legal doc in an attempt to get him a new trial for his armed-robbery case. Court word limit: 14,000. Words in the Juice’s motion: 19,993. Rules: LOL. [NBC News]
* Justice Scalia criticized law schools. Here come the butthurt law schools. [Legal Times]
* Cass Sunstein on Rand Paul’s real father — Richard Epstein. [New Republic via PrawfsBlawg]
* Irony alert: Rick Santorum endorsed the judge who just legalized gay marriage in Pennsylvania. [Slate]
* What do you know? Donald Sterling is a dick. [Los Angeles Times]
* A follow-up on a previous item: does this look like a law student kneed so hard he lost a testicle? [Barstool Sports]
* In a development that should shock no one, it turns out the Chinese hackers may have been turning their attention to infiltrating law firms “which hold valuable intellectual property for their clients but often lack the security defenses of a larger corporation.” [Bits / New York Times]
* Model suing hair salon for $1.5 million for ruining her career. That sounds funny, but the story is actually kind of horrifying. [New York Post]
* Are we looking at an M&A boom in 2014? Frank Aquila of S&C thinks so. After the jump… [Mimesis Law]
In-house columnist Mark Herrmann offers some thoughts on how to teach legal writing.
Even Justice Scalia, a defender of the three-year model of law school, believes that some things have to change.
Slate’s “You Can Do Anything With a Law Degree” article has generated some funny backlash.
The backbiting over a law school’s plan to sever ties with tenured professors is looking a lot like an episode of Real Housewives.
* Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg may retire by the end of summer 2015, or she may retire by the end of summer 2017, or she may retire whenever she damn well pleases. For the love of God, please stop with this. [Legal Intelligencer]
* The Fourth Circuit appears to be split on Virginia’s gay marriage ban. The Tenth Circuit appeared to be split on Utah’s gay marriage ban. We’ll give you three guesses on the eventual Supreme Court outcome. [New York Times]
* Law deans lose their jobs when their schools drop in rank, and it seems Biglaw chairmen lose their titles when their firms post the worst single-year drop in revenue ever. Sorry Bingham McCutchen. [Am Law Daily]
* Ex-D&Ler Zach Warren wants to sever his case from the likes of Joel Sanders and the Steves, using a “guilt by association” argument. The only thing he’s guilty of is being too cute. [National Law Journal]
* The drama continues at Albany Law, where faculty members now face possible pay cuts or being put on unpaid leave following a “smear campaign” waged against Dean Penelope Andrews. [Albany Times Union]
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Come on out for some conversation, food, drink, and networking-type shenanigans. Did we mention free drinks? The event is sponsored by our friends at Kinney Recruiting.
How can you get B grades in 1L classes and go on to clerk for the Supreme Court?
* Due to the extreme polarization of SCOTUS, with its near constant 5-4 opinion line-ups, “it becomes increasingly difficult to contend … that justices are not merely politicians clad in fine robes.” Yep. [The Upshot / New York Times]
* Tim Wu, the Columbia Law professor who first introduced the term “net neutrality” to the world, had two of his clerkships (Posner; Breyer) “arranged” by Professor Lawrence Lessig. If only we could all be so lucky. [New York Times]
* We’re getting the sinking feeling that the lack of diversity in law school is one of those problems that everyone and their mother claims to be trying to fix, but the lack of momentum keeps it from ever truly improving. [National Law Journal]
* When contemplating what law schools would have to do to get a bailout, this law professor has three ideas, and they involve changing her colleagues’ lives in uncomfortable ways. Well played. [Boston Globe]
* Cole Leonard is struggling to decide between going to law school and going to Mars. Well, he’s more likely to have a job doing anything on Mars than here on Earth as a lawyer. HTH. [Dallas Morning News]
* The L.A. Clippers have a new CEO, for the time being. Say hello to Dick Parsons, the former chairman of Patterson Belknap, a man who the world hopes is not quite as racist as his predecessor. [Am Law Daily]
* Footnote fight! Justice Sonia Sotomayor has been clashing with quite a few of her fellow Supreme Court jurists lately, aside from Chief Justice John Roberts. She recently inspired the wrath of Justice RBG herself. [New York Times]
* After months of being poked and prodded for cash, 60 former Howrey equity partners have reached clawback deals with bankruptcy trustee Allan Diamond, and it looks like a few of them agreed to pay pretty hefty sums. [Am Law Daily]
* Here’s a headline we could’ve told you was coming: “The US lawyer bubble has conclusively popped.” It’s not a terribly good decision to attend now, but if you do, people who can’t pay you need your help. [Quartz]
* Cutting law school tuition may be a good idea to attract more students, but in the long run, it could hurt the schools, says Moody’s. Aww, let us shed some tears for those poor law schools. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Crim Law prof not guilty of… crime. Stephen Smith of Notre Dame Law was acquitted on a misdemeanor invasion of privacy charge, and the felony battery charge he faced was dismissed. [South Bend Tribune]
* The University of Arizona will be the first school in the U.S. to offer a bachelor’s degree in law. The degree is being marketed to people who eventually want to have lots of law-related debt. [National Law Journal]
1st Circuit, American Bar Association / ABA, Asians, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, California, Judicial Nominations, Jury Duty, Law Professors, Malpractice, Morning Docket, Politics, S.D.N.Y., Technology, Trials
* U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara wants to know more about why Governor Andrew Cuomo shut down an anticorruption commission. [New York Times]
* The ABA weighs in on the “unfinished business” controversy affecting bankrupt law firms, their lawyers, and their clients. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Better late than never: students and professors at UC Davis Law are pushing for the posthumous admission to the California bar of Hong Yeng Chang, who was denied a law license in 1890 solely because of his Chinese heritage. [Associated Press; South China Morning Post]
* Speaking of late, a robber sent to prison 13 years late because of a clerical error just got released. [ABA Journal]
* Drones could claim another victim: the First Circuit nomination of Harvard law professor David Barron. [How Appealing]
* Who still wants a landline phone? The jury foreman in the latest Apple-Samsung battle, who is sick and tired of cellphones after the month-long trial. [The Recorder (sub. req.)]
* Not such a Great Adventure: “Cadwalader To Pay $17M In Six Flags Malpractice Fight.” [Law360 (sub. req.)]
NBC News was not doing this professor any favors.