Lawrence Taylor

Morning Docket: 11.29.11

By

Cristina Fierro: not of age.

* Here’s something that’s actually worth crying over instead of your “meh” bonuses. Much like this year’s Cravath scale, Biglaw pro bono hours will likely be stagnant or cut altogether. [Fortune]

* What’s the point of fleeing if you’re just going to let yourself get extradited? Ex-Crowell & Moring counsel, Douglas Arntsen, will return to New York to face grand larceny charges. [New York Law Journal]

* Knock it off: the feds took down 150 sites selling counterfeit goods yesterday, alleging willful copyright infringement. So much for all of those too-good-to-be-true Cyber Monday deals. [Blog of Legal Times]

* It’s pretty much impossible for Gloria Allred to take a client who doesn’t have a vagina. Her latest litigant, 16-year-old Cristina Fierro, is suing Lawrence Taylor for sex trafficking. [New York Post]

* Finally, some Spider-Man drama that we can get behind, unlike that Turn Off the Dark crap. Tobey Maguire has settled his illegal poker lawsuit, and he didn’t even have to go all in. [CNN]

* Sorry, Chick-Fil-A, but no one is going to be confusing your “chikin” trademark with kale. Maybe like 3% of your customers even know what kale is. And that’s being generous. [Huffington Post]

Sign up for the Above the Law newsletter

Subscribe to our free daily email and get breaking news, commentary, and opinions on law firms, lawyers, law schools, lawsuits, judges, and more.

Morning Docket: 01.14.11

By

* Arizona has one of the least restrictive laws on involuntary commitment of nutters in the nation. Next time, Arizona. Next time. [Reuters]

* Talk of new gun laws is the perfect time to link to the most criminally underrated movie of all time…UHF. [New York Times]

* Two teen girls in Florida were arrested for creating a fake Facebook profile for another girl and posting fake nudes of her. The detective who cracked the case remarked, “The pictures looked shopped. I could tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.” [Naples News via Gawker]

* A BYU Law grad who lied about his bar membership is charged with being an Indian Taker. [ABA Journal]

* Lawrence Taylor pleaded guilty yesterday to having a horrifying life and doing horrifying things that sadly diminish his Hall of Fame Tecmo Bowl career. [ESPN]

* “A naked housecleaner, who advertised services on a gay Website, used fear of police sodomy as a defense against murder charges — and it worked.” [New York Post]

Morning Docket: 12.08.10

By

Lawrence Taylor

* Lawrence Taylor’s lawyers accuse cops of false start in their arrest of Taylor for statutory rape. [New York Daily News]

* Listen, we know Julian Assange did something illegal. We just need to do a helluva lot of research to figure out what it is! And your constant, y’know, questions and stuff aren’t going to help us any. So why don’t you make like Onyx and Bacdafucup?! [New York Times]

* Joe Miller’s like the Energizer Bunny, he keeps sucking and sucking and… [Los Angeles Times]

* Is Allen Stanford too hopped up on goofballs to stand trial? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Cybernews, iNerds! The FDA isn’t allowed to block the import of e-cigarettes! Totally Macintosh! [Reuters]

* Today is the first of many days in which Arizona must put up or ¡CALLATE LA BOCA! in front of The Supremes. [USA Today]