* The House failed to extend key provisions of the Patriot Act yesterday. Terrorists are unable to create jobs in such an uncertain regulatory environment. [Washington Post]
* A conservative legal group, the Pacific Legal Foundation, is fighting the application of Title IX to high schools. At issue is whether throwing like a girl is something to be celebrated. [New York Times]
* Two former employees of SAC Capital are hit with insider trading charges. [Dealbreaker]
* Lindsay Lohan will be arraigned today for allegedly ganking a necklace. Your assignment is to finish this blurb, preferably with a pearl necklace reference. [Los Angeles Times]
* Technology and global competition threaten to change the legal profession for the worse. In the future, all lawyers will be South Korean robots able to review documents, file motions, deliver closing arguments, and hit on my mom. Wait, sorry. That was actually from my dream journal. I have really vivid nightmares. [New York Law Journal]
* There was a panel discussion at NYU Law yesterday on whether federal courts are biased towards business interests. I like money. [WSJ Law Blog]
If you’re like most people who have an important drug test coming up — say, for a new law firm job or for probation (kind of the same thing) — you probably prepare by doing things such as guzzling water, sucking pennies, or ladling your roommate’s urine into a pocket flask.
A somewhat less effective way to prepare involves going on a cocaine and amphetamine binge hours before your drug test and hoping for the best. But that didn’t stop Lindsay Lohan from trying last week:
Lindsay Lohan’s probation has been revoked and a bench warrant issued for her arrest…. Although the bench warrant was issued, it’s being held — i.e., on hold — until Friday at 8:30 AM, when Lindsay is ordered to appear in court.
The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines.
Under the terms of her probation, Lindsay could get 60 days for her latest misstep, and the bench warrant comes just weeks after Lindsay completed a 14-day jail stint and 23 days in UCLA’s in-patient celebrity-enabling sanctuary rehab for another parole violation.
As an occasional taxpayer (albeit in a different state), I’m annoyed California has to waste precious time and resources monitoring and jailing Lindsay, when they could be doing something useful, like banning Jay Leno. As a lawyer, I’m itching to blame someone or something(s) for her downward spiral, and I have found the proximate clause: her boobs.
* Is Harvard Law professor Elizabeth Warren, a top candidate to lead the new Bureau of Consumer Financial Protection, a “supremely smart crusader for middle-class families, or “a fiery zealot disguised in professorial glasses and pastel cardigans”? [Washington Post]
* Judge Susan Bolton, who took the teeth out of the Arizona immigration law, has been getting lots of hate mail, including death threats. But loyal readers of Above the Law know it’s not the first time for her. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* The ball is in Blake Strode’s court: pro tennis or Harvard Law School? [St. Louis Today]
* From the frying pan into the fire? Lindsay Lohan is out of jail and into rehab. [Los Angeles Times]
* Crackberry users in the U.A.E. are going to need rehab soon, too. [New York Times]
* Last month, we asked if cheerleading is a sport. A judge has answered, “no.” [CT Post]
* Two words that should never be in the same sentence: “botched” and “circumcision.” [Bad Lawyer]
* Now that the FCC has been stopped in its anti-speech tracks, can the rest of television become as good as HBO? Because if I have to see one more promo for Rizzoli & Isles I’m going to have to burn my Abbie Carmichael blow-up doll. [Infamy or Praise]
* Here’s some deposition advice. Learning practical lawyering skills will be good for people who can no longer count on a few years of brainless doc. review while they get their feet wet. [What About Clients?]
* Try becoming a “shadow elite.” It’s like a ninja only much less cool. [Law and More]
* Is anybody else sick of real Lindsay Lohan news? Don’t worry. Today we bring you fake Lindsay Lohan news. [Laws for Attorneys]
Lindsay Lohan claims her fingernails were not sending a message to the court.
When actress Lindsay Lohan was sentenced earlier this week to 90 days in jail for probation violations, she showed up in court with fabulous fingernails. If you’d like to learn about how to get the same look for your own nails, check out our sister site, Fashionista.
The tie-dye effect on LiLo’s nails was très cute — the profanity, not so much. After a photographic close-up showed “F**K U” stenciled on her nails, observers wondered if the message was directed at the judge — and whether it might constitute contempt of court. Lohan clarified, via Twitter, that the “F.U.” was not directed at Judge Marsha Revel. (For the record, though, Lohan does think Judge Revel is a “f**king bitch.”)
Still, it probably wasn’t advisable for Lohan to show up in court with profanity printed on her fingernails. Didn’t her attorney — or her former attorney, veteran litigatrix Shawn Chapman Holley, who recently quit the case — advise the actress about courtroom appearance and demeanor?
UPDATE: For the time being, Holley is still Lohan’s lawyer. Page Six reports that Judge Revel won’t allow Holley to leave the case until a substitution of counsel has been filed with the court.
In fairness to Lohan, she probably didn’t expect that the words on her fingernails would be seen. After all, they were only shown to the world thanks to extreme close-up shots by high-definition cameras — cameras that also captured her handwritten courthouse notes. (John Steele of Legal Ethics Forum wonders if this raises privilege issues.)
And perhaps Lindsay Lohan views herself as above the law — and the lawyers. As analysis of the starlet’s Twitter feed reveals, Lohan considers herself to be quite the legal eagle….
We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at email@example.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
In a land that is right here and in a time that is right now, a technology has arisen so powerful that it can replace basic human document review. Is it time to bow down before our new robot overlords?
First, here’s a little story about me: my life in the legal world began as a paralegal. My first case was a GIANT patent infringement case that was already six years old and had involved as many as five companies, multiple US courts, the ITC and an international standards committee. I knew nothing about any of this.
On my first day, my supervisor (a paralegal with at least eight other cases driving her crazy) sat me down in front of a Concordance database with a 100,000+ patents and patent file histories. “Code these,” she said. I learned that “coding”, for the purposes of this exercise, meant manually typing the inventor’s name, the title of the patent, the assignee, the file date, and other objective data for each document. I worked on that project – and only that project – for at least the first six months of my job. After a week or so, time began to blur.
What I know, in retrospect and with absolutely certainty, is that as time began to blur, so did my judgment. So did my attention to detail. If you could tell me that I did not make at least one mistake a day – one inconsistent spelling, one reversed day and month, one incorrectly spaced title – I frankly would need to see your evidence. I would not believe it. The human mind is trainable but it is not a machine.
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