Louisiana

Judge Orders Random Lawyers To Defend Poor People

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People have really given Mitt Romney hell for saying he’s “not concerned about the very poor.” But really, it’s not just wealthy Republican Mormons who lack compassion for the very poor in this country. Ronald Reagan’s greatest legacy to the Republican Party was that he made it okay for them to categorically disregard the plight of the structurally poor and blame them for their own suffering. And for the most part Democrats have decided that in order to win they must show a similar callousness towards the poor. The poor don’t vote, and so both parties conspire to ignore the impoverished — or worse, talk down to those who were stupid enough to be born to the wrong parents.

At an individual level, nearly all of us are complicit as well. Well, I’ll just speak for me: I do my part to not care about the permanent underclass that lives in the richest society on Earth. I won’t even give money to homeless people on the street unless they sing or dance or perform some sort of talent. One time I gave “James,” a blind man who panhandles on the 4/5/6, line at the same times I head into the office, $20 — not because I wanted to be kind but because I got so sick of his spiel (“I’m legally blind, I get a little bit of disability but that only leaves me $18 a month for food.”). I thought he might leave me alone for the rest of the month.

I don’t think I’m the only one who sometimes wants poor people to just go away….

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Can We Just Make the BCS Title Game a Court Observed Holiday? For the SEC at Least?

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The BCS National Title game pits the LSU Tigers against the Alabama Crimson Tide. The game takes place on Monday, January 9th.

It is unlikely that any work will be done in the states of Louisiana or Alabama on January 9th. Here are the dates for the next few BCS title games. It is unlikely that any work will be done in at least one state who has a school in the Southeast Conference.

SEC schools play for national championships in part because SEC fans take football so damn seriously. It’s not just a sport down there — it’s more like SEC fans cling to their guns and religion because they never know when either will help their team win a football game.

Why expect them to come to work on National Championship day? Or court? It’s just cruel. It’s regionalist. It just means we’re going to have slews of motions to continue like this one from an LSU fan who happens to be a lawyer in his spare time….

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Moonlighting: Inside an Insider’s Legal Conference

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Last week was my company’s annual legal conference. This year, lawyers from around the world descended upon the cultural and historic haven called New Orleans. And we had lots of stuff planned. And I don’t mean just food. Although the week did feel kind of like this:

Food / Event / More Food / Event / AND More Food / Event / Full-on Food “Event”

We spent a part of the first day volunteering with a New Orleans-based organization called St. Bernard Project. SBP is an amazing non-profit that was formed 5 years ago by a lawyer (Zack Rosenburg) and a teacher (Liz McCartney). After a week’s visit to New Orleans, these two decided to give up their lives as they knew them and settle in New Orleans to help people whose homes and lives were devastated by Hurricane Katrina and the Oil Spill. SBP has several programs and about 60 of us worked in the effort to rebuild houses — painting, removing siding, installing insulation, et cetera. SBP is all about quality when it comes to rebuilding homes; so if the air bubble in the level you’re using is even just touching one of the vertical lines on either side, you can expect an earful from your supervisor who won’t care that your “real” job doesn’t involve the use of power tools. Unless it’s April Fool’s Day at the office. (More on that at another time.)

Our legal conference also included a couple of training sessions. One of them was held by Second City. Yes, Second City — you know, the famous comedy club/school that has trained (among other comedy elites) the entire original cast of Saturday Night Live?

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Did Facebook Illegally Wiretap 150 Million People? Maybe! Probably Not

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Earlier this week, the federal government got some heat for allegedly violating the common man’s electronic privacy by snooping around in email and the like. Today we have a lawsuit from Kentucky accusing a tech company, specifically Facebook, of doing nearly the same thing.

What is going on? It’s almost like there’s no privacy anywhere anymore! (I’m kidding, of course: Privacy completely disappeared years ago.)

The suit, filed by an average Facebook user like you or me (well, most of you are lawyers, so not quite like you), claims a class of 150 million people, and damages of hundreds or thousands of dollars per class member. Exactly what heinous offense has Facebook supposedly committed?

I’m so glad you asked….

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.06.11

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Rover's last wish was to have his ashes sprinkled over a pile of money.

* Saying your dog ate something isn’t a creative enough excuse these days. Try this instead: “I kept the clients’ missing money in my car, which I left running in the parking lot to keep my dead dog’s ashes from freezing. Someone then stole the car, and now the missing client money is gone forever!” [Canadian Lawyer]

* Oh, to be a lawyer with the ability to tell opposing counsel that his client is a “spoiled, brainless twit.” It’s even better when opposing counsel’s client is Meghan McCain. [Spectacle Blog / American Spectator]

* Next time you feel like kicking the crap out of someone, make sure your twin is there, because there’s a high likelihood that you’ll both get off. [Legal Juice]

* A judge in Louisiana just threw a case out because he didn’t want to catch the flu from a witness. Elie was right: germaphobia is the real contagion! [Lowering the Bar]

* How would Jesus feel about guns in his church? He’d probably change them into dildos and tell the violence-bearers to go f**k themselves. [WSJ Law Blog]

* There’s been a lot of talk about personal branding for lawyers lately. This guy probably has the right idea, but you’ve got to wonder if he really wants to be known as the “Bald Lawyer” for the rest of his life. What happens if he decides to get plugs? [Legal Blog Watch]

* Here’s the best thing written about Steve Jobs today. [The Wirecutter]

* Here’s who the ACS is inviting to speak in Georgia. Take that George Mason Federalist Society. [ACS]

* Are you applying to law school (or do you know someone who is)? Have Lat review the application essay — and support a good cause at the same time. [Kickstarter]

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Morning Docket: 08.11.11

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Aaron Tobey

* A judge will soon rule in the Aaron Tobey case. If you don’t remember, he’s the kid who stripped at the airport to protest the TSA. Because that wasn’t going to cause a scene. [Washington Post]

* Diallo plans to introduce evidence of DSK’s alleged global history of sexual assaults at trial. The man’s got money — he can’t help it if he’s got hoes in different area codes. [Thomson Reuters]

* And speaking of hoes, if you’re convicted of soliciting backdoor deals in Louisiana, you’ll have to register as a sex offender. Is that constitutional? [Beaumont Enterprise]

* Louboutin is seeing red after losing to YSL. I guess I can stop hoping to own a pair of Louboutins, since everyone and their mother will have red-soled shoes in the future. [Hollywood Reporter]

Warren Jeffs

* Zàijiàn, Aggarwal! K&L Gates is suing a former partner, Navin Kumar Aggarwal, for breach of trust after he was arrested for theft and forgery. [Bloomberg]

* Widener Law Professor Lawrence Connell will be suing the school for $1.8M over a psych evaluation. He must be crazy for daring to defend himself in an email to students. [NBC Philadelphia]

* God gave him life, and so did the jury. Poor Warren Jeffs must be bored in jail. This polygamist pedo has been beating the bishop up to 15 times a day. Ouch. [The Daily]

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Morning Docket: 04.20.11

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* The Supreme Court heard arguments yesterday in a lawsuit asking courts to force major companies to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Sotomayor spent the entire oral argument asking attorneys how she could fit more Miami Sound Machine on her Zune. [New York Times]

* Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, who can be seen every Thursday night on 30 Rock playing Kenneth the Page, shares none of Jan Brewer’s qualms about a “birther bill.” [Politico]

* The Ecuadorean Slapfight (also the name of my ska band in high school) between Patton Boggs, Gibson Dunn, and Chevron was squashed by a judge yesterday. [Reuters]

* Baker Hostetler is balling out of control on L’Affaire Madoff. [WSJ Law Blog]

Judge Vaughn Walker

* Tiger Blogger Vivia Chen wants white guys to be hunted like animals. [The Careerist]

* A copyright troll has found a way to exact a toll without actually owning any copyrights. No word yet on whether anyone has gained entrance into the boy’s hole. [Wired via ABA Journal]

* Alleged Wikileaker Bradley Manning is being transferred to another prison. Julian Assange celebrated the news by going dancing. [Fox News]

* Sponsors of Proposition 8 are mad that retired judge Vaughn Walker, who presided over Prop 8′s defeat in court, is giving lectures around the country that feature a three-minute clip of the trial. They say the video should remain in the closet. Or a desk drawer of some sort. [Los Angeles Times]

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Quote of the Day: Justice Ginsburg’s Subtle Benchslap of Tulane Law

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On what basis can one be confident that law schools acquaint students with prosecutors’ unique obligation under Brady? Whittaker told the jury he did not recall covering Brady in his criminal procedure class in law school. Dubelier’s alma mater, like most other law faculties, does not make criminal procedure a required course. [FN21]

[FN21] See Tulane University Law School, Curriculum, http://www.law.tulane.edu (select “Academics”; select “Curriculum”) (as visited Mar. 21, 2011, and in Clerk of Court’s case file).

– Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, dissenting, in Connick v. Thompson (via Josh Blackman, who provides additional context and excerpts from the opinions; there’s also discussion of the case at Gawker).

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Senate Votes to Remove Judge Porteous from the Bench

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This morning the United States Senate voted to convict Judge G. Thomas Porteous of Louisiana on all four articles of impeachment he faced. These convictions will remove him from his lifetime seat on the federal bench, making him only the eighth federal judge in U.S. history to suffer this fate, and strip him of the $174,000 pension he would have otherwise enjoyed.

Article I accused Judge Porteous, 63, of bringing the federal judiciary “into scandal and disrepute,” as a result of his “corrupt financial relationship” with attorneys appearing before him (who gave him “gifts”). The vote was unanimous: 96-0. Ouch.

Apparently the senators were not persuaded by Professor Jonathan Turley’s argument that Judge Porteous (E.D. La.) wasn’t guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors, but simply “something of a moocher.” Think Kato Kaelin, but in a black robe.

Judge Porteous fared a bit better on the other three articles of impeachment….

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Update: It Is a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood!

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Tulane steals Mr. Rogers shoe.JPGWe reported yesterday that students at Tulane Law School allegedly absconded with Mr. Rogers’s shoe from the Louisiana Children’s Museum.

Well, an intrepid trolley has returned the treasured keepsake. Let’s get the details….

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