* Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are getting divorced — even she couldn’t stand the thought of him being Batman. Celebrity divorces don’t come cheap, and you know what that must mean: high-powered lawyers and even higher rates for their billable hours! [CNN]
* “[H]ow young would you go…I’d do 5[,] [b]ut 0-12 is hot.” Well, that’s absolutely disgusting. Matthew Gigot, an attorney who does doc review in the D.C. area, was charged in a child pornography case for sexual performance using a minor. [FOX 5 DC]
* The main line of defense as of late in the Dewey trial for the former head honchos of this failed firm is that everyone sends out embarrassing — and potentially incriminating — emails from time to time. We know all abput that here at Above the Law. [WSJ Law Blog]
* “Put down the bong, throw out the vaporizer and lose the rolling papers.” If you’re hoping to land a job at any federal agency any time in the near future, then you better quit your toking as soon as possible, even if it’s legal in your state. [New York Times]
* Here’s some sad news for women who are interested in taking home their apparently delicious and nutritious placentas to feast upon after their children are born in hospitals: it’s only completely legal in three states — Hawaii, Oregon, and Texas. [The Stir]
The last few weeks have seen a spate of big announcements from the Supreme Court. Whether you consider them “jiggery pokery” or strong jurisprudence, the effects of these recent decisions will be creating further work and litigation for years. The controversy courted by the Justices is some of the best business development lawyers could have […]
What does legalization of cannabis in the United States have to do with helping Mexico eliminate its cartels?
* The Dissent World: This is what happens when justices start being real… and stop being polite. Conservative SCOTUS justices weren’t interested in playing nice last week in their dissents. Just how much “personal dissension” is there among their ranks? [POLITICO]
* “I knew I was a workaholic and law wasn’t for me, but the circus is.” A law school graduate who only goes by Paz is now working as a world-class juggler. Law school career services officers would really like to know if this is considered a J.D. Advantage position. [Grand Forks Herald]
* A new nickname is being bandied about for John Roberts: “Umpire in Chief.” During his confirmation hearings, he said judges should be more like baseball officiants, and you could say that last week, all he was doing was calling balls and strikes. [New York Times]
* SCOTUS may have issued a landmark ruling on gay marriage, but that doesn’t mean the fight is over as far as gay rights are concerned. Protip: Next time you make a historic decision, let lawyers know what level of scrutiny is being applied. [National Law Journal]
* Some think what SCOTUS did with gay marriage was “simply putting its imprimatur on a practice that was already legal in more than two-thirds of the states.” People wonder whether the highest court will do the same with marijuana legalization. [24/7 Wall St.]
* Step right up and place your bets, because there are still five major cases left on the Supreme Court’s docket. With two decision days remaining, we’ve got same-sex marriage, execution methods, emissions, Congressional redistricting, and guns on tap. [WSJ Law Blog]
* A Chicago attorney was arrested this week after a kiddie porn stash was allegedly found in his home. Good thing he resigned from his firm before being arrested. He probably wouldn’t have been able to meet his billable hours requirements while sitting inside of a jail cell. [Chicago Sun-Times]
* California lawmakers passed the harshest mandatory vaccination requirements in the country — which include a ban on religious exemptions — and they’re waiting for Gov. Jerry Brown to sign the bill. Anti-vaxxers must be losing their minds. [Los Angeles Times]
* Sorry to harsh your mellow, but Lloyd’s of London is now refusing to insure marijuana businesses due to conflicts between state and federal laws as to their legality. Current policies will not be renewed, and no new contracts will be issued. [Insurance Journal]
* The ABA Journal wants to know about the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen a co-worker do while on the job or in court. This is a pretty easy answer here at ATL. I’ve seen Elie Mystal dancing around without his shirt on more times than I can count. [ABA Journal]
* Justice Thomas parted with his conservative brethren on the Confederate flag case, but was it a product of his experience as an African-American? Don’t bet on it. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* A jury awarded $500,000 to a patient after doctors mocked him while anesthetized. For example, the anesthesiologist said, “I wanted to punch you in the face and man you up a little bit.” Maybe it’s me, but if he sued over that, it sounds like he absolutely deserved that punch in the face. [MedCity News]
* This title says it all, “I Am An Adjunct Law Professor Who Teaches Five Classes. I Earn Less Than A Pet-Sitter.” [TaxProf Blog]
* Have you ever wondered how blind people perceive and experience race? Really interesting findings from Professor Osagie K. Obasogie of UC Hastings Law. [Buzzfeed]
* This may come as a shock, but a report finds that prosecutors cared more about securing convictions than protecting the public. [The Times-Picayune]
* When we say the immigration system is broken, this is what we mean: 15-year resident with a Columbia Law degree about to be deported. [Vox]
* In honor of the anniversary of Jaws last week, an examination of Quint’s legal duties to Brody and Hooper. When you consider his potential liability, perhaps he was better off getting eaten. [The Legal Geeks]
* Federal government paying to scour sewage in Washington state to learn about pot usage post legalization. Note to federal government: they’re the dirty hippies, not you. [Seattle Times]
Ever wondered what might be lurking in your favorite marijuana product?
How big is the Colorado marijuana market?
If you’re interested in becoming an attorney in the burgeoning marijuana industry, here are some things you need to know before you dive in.
After a decade of 60+ trips to Hong Kong from his former Miami home, our Evan Jowers has finally taken the plunge and moved to Hong Kong on a permanent basis. Since ’06, Evan has been head of Kinney’s Asia recruiting and over that time Kinney has easily placed more US associates, counsels and partners at top tier US and UK firms than any other recruiting firm (we have also made many in-house placements). (…)
* It was First Amendment Day at SCOTUS this morning! Here’s a recap. [PrawfsBlawg]
* Exclusive report on the new CSOL president’s meeting with students. He explained how Infilaw had a terrible track record and offered nothing to the school. Just kidding! But he did suggest introducing “a Boy Scout-inspired ‘merit badge system’” to the school. So there’s that. [SC Lawyers Weekly]
* Facebook made this legislator vote the wrong way on a bill. #banBoomers. [Lowering the Bar]
* Allegations of political influence peddling in Orange County pot industry. I didn’t make it to the big ATL Business of Bud conference the other day, but this sounds scandalous. On the other hand, “drug trade influence peddling” used to involve fewer gavels and more Glocks, so this is a positive development. [OC Weekly]
* Do you have strong feelings about FRCP 56(d)? You should. An excellent practice tip. [What About Clients?]
* Tonight is the Family Violence Appellate Project’s annual Battle of the Lawyer Bands. If you want to see bands from Google, O’Melveny, Latham, Jones Day, Lieff Cabraser, and Kirkland & Ellis — and help a good cause — then you’d best be in San Francisco and head over to 1015 Folsom. Buy tickets at the link. [Family Violence Appellate Project]
* You know who aren’t “Beliebers”? The Fourth Circuit. They swatted down Bieber and musical enabler Usher defending themselves against another artist’s copyright claim. Read the full opinion on the next page. [Fourth Circuit]
An invitation to a marijuana law reception that will take place in Denver, Colorado, on June 16 from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.
* If you’re having girl problems, he feels bad for you son, he’s got 99 problems, but an aggravated pimping charge ain’t one. Ex-IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was acquitted on his latest sex scandal charges by a French court. [Bloomberg Business]
* “Justice may be blind, but she still sees it our way 88.4% of the time.” Humblebrag? Quinn Emanuel may kick ass at winning trials, but its percentage of “wins” advertised on airport signage has gone down by 3.9% since 2008. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Which Biglaw firms had the greatest percent changes in headcount in the first half of 2015? With a 29.2 percent drop, McKenna Long & Aldridge is leaking lawyers like a sieve. Irella is in second place, with attorney headcount down by 22.8 percent. [Am Law Daily]
* Say hello to the National Cannabis Bar Association, an organization that’ll help you get some higher education as you navigate through the haze of marijuana laws. If you want to learn more, then come to our marijuana law event next week in Denver. [ABA Journal]
* If you’d like to strengthen your law school application, then you may want to consider getting to know some current professors and alumni from the school of your choice. That way, you can suck up while you’re sucking up. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
What exactly goes down at Ole Miss regarding marijuana? And why is Ole Miss growing cannabis at all?
* After a particularly bootylicious performance in Morocco that was aired on live TV, singer Jennifer Lopez is facing a lawsuit which alleges that she “disturbed public order and tarnished women’s honor and respect.” Her first affirmative defense: Dat ass tho. [Newsweek]
* Our congratulations go out to Texas Supreme Court Justice Don R. Willett (@JusticeWillett) for achieving the rare and prestigious honor of being recognized as the “Tweeter Laureate of #Texas.” Way to dole out judicial wit and humor 140 characters at a time, Your Honor. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Howrey gonna pay our creditors if we can’t cash in on unfinished business? A judge recently overturned this failed firm’s bankruptcy court win, noting that since “[t]he law firm defendants performed the work; they deserve the pay.” [Dow Jones Business News]
* Sorry, job hunters, but despite what you may have heard about the boom years being back, the legal job market is stuck in a “pattern of anemic growth,” and it’s been that way since the Great Recession. Please give your mother our condolences. [Am Law Daily]
* It’s only a matter of time before the majority of U.S. states legalize marijuana, and Illinois may be the next in line to do so. If you’re thinking about joining the green rush and want to learn more, come to our marijuana law reception next week. [Chicago Tribune]
* New developments in everyone’s favorite soap opera of a case: Faruqi & Faruqi LLP is cross-appealing the $140,000 judgment in favor of former associate Alexandra Marchuk. [Law360]
* Whoa. There’s one SEC Commissioner actually doing her job! So retro. Stay strong, Commissioner Stein. [Guile Is Good]
* Congress is working on a bill to prevent companies from foisting non-compete clauses on employees making less than $31,200/year. But, but, then someone else might learn the important trade secret of the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs and spices! [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* Senior and junior lawyers speak a different language. This article comes to us from the U.K., but the sentiment is universal, even if the phrase “bugger off” isn’t. [Legal Cheek]
* Prosecutor called Asian Americans “greedy foreigners.” That goes over about as well as you’d expect. [Angry Asian Man]
* David spoke with the Legal Talk Network about “the importance of friendship and family and the psyche of young lawyers who often compromise personal relationships for career ambitions.” If you guessed they were discussing Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), then you’re right. [Legal Talk Network]
* Where are LL.M.s valuable? [LLM-Guide]
* Lawyer sues EFF for calling his patent stupid. We here at Above the Law would like to reiterate that this patent is brilliant and probably the most Earth-shattering invention since the light bulb. [Corporate Counsel]
* Maybe legalizing drugs doesn’t solve all the violence. [Seattle Times]
Is “legal innovation” an oxymoron? Absolutely not, as some new crowdfunding projects demonstrate.