Because every episode of VH1’s Behind The Music should end with a healthy discussion of ERISA.
If the goal of an ad is name recognition, then… well, you’ll never NOT remember Mark Jones after you force yourself to watch this ad.
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* Another benchmark in the Ninth Circuit’s ongoing war against prosecutorial misconduct: a panel of judges — Kozinski, Wardlaw, and Fletcher — suggest trying prosecutors for perjury. [New York Observer]
* Lawyer and blogger Eric Turkewitz finds himself in the New York Post’s Page Six gossip column. Just what was he doing with Selena Gomez while Justin Bieber wasn’t looking? [New York Personal Injury Attorney Blog]
* Kristine Sperling left her position as a senior associate at Latham to start her own organic soap company. And, I’m assuming, an underground fight club. [Good Day Sacramento]
* The 2015 Social Media Subpoena Guide. Everything you need to know about getting all their best cookie recipes off Pinterest. [Associate’s Mind]
* Tom Petty’s lawyers “Won’t Back Down” and now he’s getting royalties for that Sam Smith song. [Consequence of Sound]
* Which law professor rules the Twitterverse? A comprehensive numerical analysis provides the answer. [Ryan Whalen]
* A new, easy to use online version of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. If you’re into that kind of thing. [Federal Rules of Civil Procedure]
* Justice Scalia’s audition tape released including “rigorous mock hearings and jurisprudence drills, as well as a cold read from a randomly chosen amicus curiae brief.” [The Onion]
* Jesus, Harvard professors are frigging babies. Now they’re complaining about Obamacare because they have to pay $20 co-pays… like everyone else in the world since seemingly forever. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* Don’t try to blow up ATMs. [Lowering the Bar]
* Professor Thane Rosenbaum reviews Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). While he adds to the accolades, he also drops this curious description: “Think Bartleby, The Scrivener meets The Devil Wears Prada.” Um, “I prefer not to”? [Huffington Post]
* It’s time for the Careerist Awards! [The Careerist]
* Which law school in California provided the most “value add,” as measured by most improved bar passage rate over expectations? [TaxProf Blog]
* Shearman & Sterling partner Richard Hsu’s continuing interview series sits down with another former Shearman attorney, Drew Shoals, now the drummer for Train. Otherwise known as “that band drunk 20-something white girls love.” [Hsu Untied]
* The Hardcore Pawn guys talk about what they look for in lawyers. If we’re good enough they’ll give us $20 for our services, but honestly that’s the best they can do. [Forbes]
* 10 Things People Don’t Understand About ‘Serial’ Unless You’re a Criminal Attorney. What I don’t understand is why we’re still talking about this show a week later. [Huffington Post]
* Have you been waiting for a Dynamite Hack’s Boyz N the Hood to be reimagined as a song about law professors? Then I present Profs in the School. [Lawprofblawg]
* Are law students worse students than they used to be? At least worse than they were when professors used to walk uphill both ways in the snow. [PrawfsBlawg]
* 2013 job results. For all the schools. [Associate’s Mind]
Law can be a tremendously rewarding career, but also at times frustrating and incredibly stressful.
* The Thomas M. Cooley Law School is planning to sell one of its academic buildings for an asking price of $8.15 million. Dear Lord, the school will lose some of its library square footage. NOOOOOOOOO! [Lansing State Journal]
* Contrary to his client’s hit anthem, Pharrell’s lawyer isn’t happy. He says YouTube has been “blithely” ignoring his requests to take down music for which it lacks performance rights, and it may result in a $1B lawsuit. [Hollywood Reporter]
* Clifford Sloan, the State Department’s special envoy on Guantánamo Bay, appointed in 2013 to help shut down the detention center, is returning to the loving arms of Skadden’s partnership on January 1, 2015. Gitmo is still open. Oops. [Am Law Daily]
* After 30 years, the Food and Drug Administration decided to lift its lifetime ban on blood donation for gay men. Now gay men just have to abstain from doing gay things for a year — like having sex with other men — to donate blood. Yay? [WSJ Law Blog]
* If you’ve been wondering what the most ridiculous lawsuits of 2014 are, we’ve got you covered. These are the top 10 most absurd cases filed over the course of the past year. You may remember some of these from our coverage. [Faces of Lawsuit Abuse]
Where did he go to law school and where does he now work?
* Law school enrollment continues its death spiral for the fourth year in a row, with enrollment down about 28 percent since 2010. Some schools — about 25 of them — have reported enrollment dips of more than 20 percent. Celebrate good times, come on! [National Law Journal]
* Beyoncé and Jay-Z, the queen and king of rap royalty, have been sued over a sample that was allegedly used in their hit song, “Drunk in Love.” When asked for comment on the suit, our bae Bey kept it short and sweet: “Bow down, bitches.” [A.V. Club]
* Yoohoo, SCOTUS, pay attention to this one: The first federal judge has weighed in on President Obama’s executive order on immigration, and in a four-page takedown, found it unconstitutional and “beyond prosecutorial discretion.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Katrina Dawson, an Australian lawyer who worked at Eight Selborne Chambers, was killed during the Sydney terrorist siege earlier this week. She reportedly died in an attempt to save a pregnant law firm colleague from a hail of gunfire. [Am Law Daily]
* Lawyers and law students dressed in suits hosted a “die-in” in the pouring rain outside of a courthouse in downtown L.A. yesterday. Professor Priscilla Ocen of Loyola Law made some great points on a bullhorn. [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]
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Sometimes, the person handing over the bonus check is bonus enough to make lawyers feel like they’re living large.
Who knew John Roberts could lay down sick rhymes like these?
* Tommy Boggs, the name behind Squire Patton Boggs, has died at the age of 73. [On Politics / USAToday]
* As you read all the over-the-top awful details from the Rep. Mark Sanford divorce hearing, remember there was a day not too long ago that he was considered a serious presidential contender. [Wonkette]
* In his deposition, Robin Thicke says he was too drunk and high to write that rapey song about getting women drunk and high. [Music Times]
* Stymied in his bid to become Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights, Debo Adegbile will have to settle for becoming a partner at WilmerHale. [Law Blog / Wall Street Journal]
* Legal and public health problems of the wireless age. [Consumer Law & Policy Blog]
* The second in a series on Charlotte Law School by a former professor. The first addressed the school’s treatment of faculty and staff. This one talks about the school’s treatment of students. [Outside the Law School Scam]
* If you’re a law student in the New York area, Marino Bar Review is hosting an open bar tomorrow. Check it out. [Above the Law]
Key’s power of persuasion didn’t lead to victory at the Supreme Court and today that man, Francis Scott Key, is better known as a lyricist than a lawyer.
* “Operas can get pretty gory. I should have put that in my brief.” In the upcoming Supreme Court term, it looks like law clerks will have to educate their justices about the intricacies of rap music’s sometimes violent lyrics. [National Law Journal]
* The pay gap between equity and non-equity Biglaw partners is growing wider and wider. According to recent survey, on average, equity partners are bringing home $633K more than non-equity partners each year. [Am Law Daily]
* Hackers are targeting Biglaw firms to acquire their clients’ important secrets. Unfortunately, no one is brave enough to step up to the plate and say their firm’s been hit — admitting that “could be an extinction-level event.” [Tribune-Review]
* Which Biglaw firms had the most satisfied summer associates this year? There was a big rankings shake-up at the top of the list this time around, and we’ll have more on this later today. [Am Law Daily]
* In the wake of the Ray Rice scandal, Adrian Peterson screwed up many of your fantasy football teams after he was indicted for hurting his child “with criminal negligence.” He’s now out on $15,000 bail. [CNN]
* Lawyer busted for impersonating a Transformer. On that note, what would be the best name for a Transformer lawyer? Atticus Prime? L-Woods? Paddotron, who transforms into a clock that only measures tenths of an hour? [Jonathan Turley]
* Did you think your studying for the MBE could have used more original songs as study aids? Well, if so, you’re in luck because there’s an app called Study Songs that sets legal rules to music to help you remember. [Bar Exam Toolbox]
* New York courts are getting more and more fed up with the lack of relief available when lenders flaunt the law. [New York Law Journal]
* We’ve talked about litigation financing in the abstract before, but how can litigation financing help injured workers specifically? [LFC360]
* A former U.S. Attorney pleads guilty to not paying his taxes for years. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
* In sad news, Sher Kung — part of the trial team that took down the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, and recently of Perkins Coie — was killed on in a cycling accident on Friday. [Seattle Times]
* This probably goes without saying, but don’t smuggle drugs into prison. This grandpa apparently failed that lesson. [Legal Juice]
* Town gets fed up and just sues every single citizen. [Lowering the Bar]
* A city lawyer heads out to the country to woo a pretty maid. At least this song gets it right and the lawyer fails. [Legal Cheek]
* Some thoughts on trademark law and post-parody fashion, from Professor Charles Colman. [U. Penn Law Review]
* Attorneys took different approaches to litigating slavery. Nothing really funny here, it’s just interesting. [The Faculty Lounge]
* James Sherwin of SOR Solicitors made this infographic about patents in Europe (and where Ireland fits in). In case you ever wanted to know if Europe’s intellectual property set up is as crazy as America’s. [SOR-Solicitors]