Name Changes

Here in the “new normal,” it seems that law schools are willing to give anything a try if it will mean putting more students’ butts in seats, including, but not limited to, splitting their branch campuses into entirely separate schools. In fact, as long as the ABA is poised to approve the split, why not just give both schools a new name entirely?

That’s exactly what one law school is trying to do.

Can you guess which one?

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The long awaited re-branding of the Thomas M. Cooley Law School will happen. On Tuesday, officials from Cooley and Western Michigan University will announce an affiliation that will allow Cooley to call itself the “Western Michigan University Thomas M. Cooley Law School.”

When reached for comment, Western New England grad Staci Zaretsky said, “OMG no, nooooooo! Now Cooley is going to be RIGHT ON TOP OF WNEC in U.S. News. :(” That’s because unranked law schools are listed in alphabetical order.

I wasn’t able to talk to anybody associated with the Cooley law firm (formerly Cooley Godward Kronish), most likely because they are all having a huge party in the hopes that somehow people will no longer think their respected law firm is at all associated with the garish Cooley Law School.

I’m skeptical that this name change will scrub Cooley’s embarrassing Google footprint in a meaningful way, but then again, Cooley exists because people are bad at using the internet…

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I think if you can dye your hair or fix your nose, you can change your name.

Raoul Felder, the high-profile divorce lawyer, commenting on the trend of divorcées making up completely new names for themselves upon getting divorced.

(Continue reading for Felder’s harsh indictment of legal education.)

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