Nevada

Morning Docket: 04.26.12

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2 Girls 1 Sandwich

* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters]

* Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News]

* As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg]

* As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN]

* Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]

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Benchslap of the Day: A Cooley Law Grad’s ‘Epic Fail’ in Court

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Judge Bruce Markell

Were there ever a time to use “fail,” as the contemporary vernacular permits, it is now, and in reference to this deplorable display of legal representation: it was an epic fail.

– Judge Bruce Markell, in a recent opinion in a Las Vegas Chapter 13 bankruptcy proceeding, which concluded that the debtors’ attorneys, Barry Levinson and Jeremy Mondejar, should be sanctioned for their ineffective representation.

(What did these Cooley Law graduates allegedly do to irk Judge Markell in this way? Take a look, after the jump.)

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Las Vegas Lawyers Ham It Up in Terrible Commercial

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What do you get when you combine pig products, a sketchy guy in a mustache, and death metal? One colossally horrendous law firm commercial.

The folks at Hamilton Law in Las Vegas were presumably late to the domain-name-grabbing game and had to settle for being called “ham legal.” Rather than fight their unfortunate web address, the firm has apparently opted to embrace it and go whole hog into swine-themed advertising.

If you’ve ever wondered what a pig-centric legal commercial looks like, you’re in luck. The answer is a bad Saturday Night Live skit with a voice-over by a circa mid-2000s Jack Black promoting Tenacious D. Check out the horror, after the jump….

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Morning Docket: 08.16.11

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Mon dieu, je déteste mon propriétaire.

* Led by Cleary and Wachtell, five Biglaw firms were involved in the $12.5B Google/Motorola deal. Talk about a total prestige orgy. [Am Law Daily]

* Casey Anthony will be appealing her check fraud probation order in Florida. WHERE’S THE JUSTICE FOR THAT GIRL’S CHECKING ACCOUNT!!?!? [CNN]

* Those pushing for a law school at Indiana Tech admit the state doesn’t need another law school, but “another kind.” The kind that doesn’t exist, amirite? [Chesterton Tribune]

* Your pets don’t need millions from your estate after you go to the big dog park in the sky. But if you feel so inclined, Fifi will probably use the money to dye her hair back. Pink is so not her color. [Reuters]

* For some young lawyers in Nevada, passing the bar is easier than getting a job. Meh, I guess I should’ve considered moving to Nevada. [Fox News]

* Lawyers in Texas are excited about a Twitter Brief Competition. All filings should be under 140 characters. Just imagine: @Appellant Ur lawyer sucks, ttyl #affirm [Tex Parte Blog / Texas Lawyer]

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.28.11

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Sheryl Crow

* I’m standing in the middle of a desert, waiting for my ship to come in. But now no joker, no J.D. degree, can take your losing hand, and make it win; you should be leaving Las Vegas. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If Miami Law could somehow figure out a way to actually do this, they would usher in a new era where law schools might still be expensive, but not useless. At some point, the way we educate future lawyers has to change, doesn’t it? [Roy Black]

* The law and law enforcement will always be behind the curve when trying to police cutting-edge techniques employed to unwittingly photograph naked women. Still not sure if you want to click on the link? How about: “This is why Kash is afraid to pee.” [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* I don’t understand and/or don’t care why so many lawyers have a problem with the “and/or” construction. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Listening to Lat and Bess Levin discuss the various things can happen to meth users was the highlight of my day at the office, but seriously kids, don’t do drugs. [Dealbreaker]

* What do you get for the billionaire who has everything? His own prison. [Sentencing Law & Policy]

Chris Christie

* Wait, John Grisham stories are fictional? Man, I always thought that nobody offered to pay off my debts and buy me a house and a car in Memphis because of my race. [ABA Journal]

* New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is going to be okay. [Slate]

* Scott Drake asked me to do a podcast just after I read Rick Matasar’s response to the New York Times. This recording was made after I calmed down. [Legal Broadcast Network]

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Non-Sequiturs: 05.11.11

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Self-driving Vegas Cash Cab would be the most awesome thing ever.

* Self-driving cars in Vegas? Yes please, I want to play destination roulette. [ABA Journal]

* Wow, I guess law schools are still afraid of being exposed by the New York Times. Here’s some Case Western news, from Professor Jonathan Adler. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* A follow-up on Tim Wu’s recent Quote of the Day about Asians vs. whites, from a woman’s point of view. [The Ying-a-Ling (fka Exley of ATL Idol)]

* Tarting yourself up and pushing ice cream is one option for recent law school graduates. [DNAinfo]

* Our tax code is full of chicken s**t. [Going Concern]

* I used to get something called a “heart attack” at the old Tasty in Harvard Square. I never died from it, and I was pretty sure that scientists hadn’t yet perfected the way to distill a major coronary event into a sandwich. [WSJ Law Blog]

* I hope there are enough swords for King & Spalding managers to fall on. [The Careerist]

* I feel sorry for Osama bin Laden’s relatives. I mean, I don’t give a damn what they think they’re entitled to, but I still feel a little bit sorry for them. [CNN]

* Jay Shepherd puts his hyphen advice to practical rhetorical use. (Or: A chance to see and hear @JayShep, in the flesh.) [LexThink via YouTube]

* Not law-related, but this is the best thing that’s been written about Ben Kenobi since Return of the Jedi (and yes, I know what’s been released since Jedi). [Popurls]

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Lawyer of the Day: Las Vegas Drug Prosecutor Arrested for… Drugs

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Paris Hilton

Maybe it’s time for us to have a national conversation about legalizing drugs. It’s interesting to see how many folks in charge of enforcing and administering our nation’s drug laws seem to have drug problems themselves.

We all recall the sad story of former federal judge Jack Camp. After years of sending offenders off to prison for narcotics offenses, ex-Judge Camp pleaded guilty to drug offenses of his own. He was sentenced to 30 days in prison — less time than what Paris Hilton got.

And speaking of Paris Hilton, it seems that one of her former prosecutors — a top drug-crime prosecutor in Las Vegas — was just arrested.

For what? For drugs….

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Nevada Lawyer Sues Over Mean Facebook Comments

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What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Unless it involves defamatory Facebook postings and a retaliatory lawsuit.

The new CBS show The Defenders has Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell dramatizing and glamorizing the life and work of Las Vegas attorneys. But for the real attorneys working in the tumbleweeds of Nevada, it can be a tough gig. Ask Jonathan Goldsmith, a “60% Bankruptcy / 10% Family Law / 10% Criminal Defense / 5% Personal Injury” of counsel at Rosenfeld & Rinato. (They don’t bother with associates there — you’re either of counsel or a founding partner, even if you’re just two years out of law school; Goldsmith is a 2009 University of Las Vegas law grad.)

Goldsmith was plaintiff’s counsel in a divorce case, and the husband being divorced, Jordan Cooper, took a disliking to him. Which he naturally expressed on Facebook…

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