New York Post

Robert the Lawyer (Photo: Christian Johnston)

The dating scene is rough in New York City, especially for lawyers with long lists of demands for potential female suitors to meet. One lawyer was so hard up for a date that he took to the pages of the New York Post’s “Meet Market” to find one. He received top billing from the paper, where he was advertised as an “[a]ttorney seek[ing] a gal who will lay down the law.”

Aww, that’s cute. Let’s help him out.

Meet Robert, a lawyer who’s looking for love — but only in Manhattan or Brooklyn…

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* President Obama’s top lawyer, Kathryn Ruemmler, is staying on the job longer than planned. That cushy Biglaw partnership can wait a while longer. [Reuters]

* The ABA Journal talks to Joel Hamner about the continuing stain of the online advertisement mentioning his firm that he says he never ordered, paid for, or authorized. [ABA Journal]

* Ohio judge’s wife charged with poisoning him with antifreeze. When will she learn to make a decent Thanksgiving dinner? [ABC News]

* Robe Rules Rag Not Racist! [New York Observer]

* Woman shoots her husband outside a law firm in Tennessee. She already faced charges in Mississippi for a different shooting. You’d think someone might have taken her gun away before this, but she must be critical to that “well regulated militia.” [WKRN]

* Kaye Scholer lost the co-managing partner of its California offices. They’ve been hemorrhaging partners out there — trouble in paradise. [ABA Journal]

* D.C. Judge Natalia Combs Greene gets ripped for “inappropriate comments.” She should have some choice words in response. [The Blog of the Legal Times]

When we talk about the Biglaw firms with the most good-looking attorneys, the conversation usually ends pretty quickly. Only one firm is known to hoard hotties like they’re going out of style, but word on the street is that another firm may be looking to dethrone the sovereign of sexiness.

Move over, Davis Polk, because you’ve got some competition….

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Over the weekend, the New York Post published an except from a book called Unicorn (affiliate link), a self-published memoir of a lawyer who lived the secret, swinging lifestyle.

I get it, “professional” woman writes about having sex with multiple partners and suddenly people are interested.

The Post describes the book’s author as: “Isabella Martin, 37, a successful corporate lawyer based in an East Coast city.” The post says that “Isabella Martin” is a pseudonym that the author is using for professional reasons.

Normally I’d ignore books with Harlequin romance lines like this: “During that period, I guess I saw sex just like a hot-blooded single guy with no emotional attachments would. I found it difficult to calm my mind and get to sleep if I hadn’t had an orgasm.”

But tipsters point out that the real “Unicorn” might not have been quite as successful as the Post would have us believe, which piqued my interest….

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Helping a bride make her wedding is about the best ‘Mitzvah’ a person can do.

Benjamin Brafman, the prominent criminal defense attorney (for stars like Michael Jackson, Sean Combs, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn), describing his decision to pen a $5,000 check to help a couple fighting to get their deposit back after booking a South Street Seaport venue damaged by Superstorm Sandy. Brafman wrote the check to the couple he’d never met after reading about them in the New York Post, proving it’s not always bad news to find your name in the Post.

* Fast moving developments in the Boston case. The FBI wanted your help finding these guys. Now it says one is already dead and the other is on the run. [New York Times]

* Wow. The accused ricin mailer is messed up. [Washington Post]

* Lawyer turns down an $8M settlement and wins $130M. If you believe the New York Post. And you shouldn’t. [New York Post]

* Morgan Stanley is boring. [Dealbreaker]

* Remember our ally Musharraf? He’s in jail. [Los Angeles Times]

* Sorry wife, former Justice of the Peace charged with TOTALLY violating the peace. [CNN]

* The New York Post responds to critics of its Boston attack coverage. [The Onion]

* I’m just going to quote our tipster on this one because I cannot improve upon his commentary: “Because we should publicize every time a Donald Trump lawsuit fails.” [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* DOUBLE F**KING NEWSFLASH: this pissed off sorority girl will write the BEST cease and desist letters someday. [Gawker]

* CVS: the place with the helpful, anti-Asian racist staff! [Associated Press via Yahoo! Finance]

* The Supreme Court stands up to warrantless searches. Sort of. [Simple Justice]

* Sports franchise owners totally rip off the communities they supposedly serve? [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* You’d think an intellectual property firm would know better than to commit copyright violations. [Law 360]

* Good news, law students! You can get a casebook for the low, low price of $200! [PrawfsBlawg]

* Rachel Ray sued for negligence in trying to help a teen lose weight. If the goal was weight loss, Rachel should have just forced the girl to exclusively eat from Rachel Ray’s cookbook. Nothing can turn someone off eating like that. [US Weekly]

* He may not have authoritah to respect! George Zimmerman received more than $200K in donations for his legal defense fund, but Judge Lester isn’t going to increase his bail just yet. [New York Times]

* Is Joe Amendola’s client, Jerry Sandusky, rubbing off on him? First he advises people to call a gay sex hotline, and now he’s spilling loads (of info) on boys all across Pennsylvania. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Thanks to an inquiry by the New York Post, Columbia Law has changed how it reports its post-grad employment statistics. Perhaps more publications should get their b*tch-slappers out. [New York Post]

* If every day were filled with science experiments, laser demonstrations, and art projects at Crowell & Moring, then maybe lawyers would think twice about allegedly embezzling millions. [Washington Post]

* Lawyers need to know how to be lawyers before they can be lawyers? “Way too meta, dudes,” say law school deans in California. Maybe next time, bar examiners, maybe next time. [National Law Journal]

* “With these grades, you could be a stripper.” That’s quite the report card! Guys Teachers in my high school used to allegedly sexually harass former students all the time, it was no big deal. [Connecticut Post]

* Walter L. Gordon Jr., a groundbreaking lawyer in the era of segregation, RIP. [Los Angeles Times]

How has it come to this?

Most people and institutions jealously guard their credibility. It’s hard to get people to trust you, and nearly impossible to get people to believe you after you’ve abused their trust. Nearly everybody who throws their good name away lives to regret it.

I wonder if member institutions of the American Bar Association are starting to realize that throwing away their credibility for the sake of masking a few bad years of employment statistics is a bad idea. I wonder if they’re starting to get that the American Bar Association’s laissez-faire approach toward transparency is going to have consequences far beyond the yearly bloodsport of the U.S. News law school rankings.

As a couple of elite law schools are learning this week, right now their word and credibility carries significantly less weight than the New York Post’s….

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